Something To Live For
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Supernatural.
It's always been hard resisting temptation. It's in your blood. Dean Winchester does whatever the hell he wants, when he wants, because that's the way he's been taught.
It's always been in black and white. You killed the bad guys, saved the good ones, all the while having fun, and doing things the way they were meant to be done. It's just you and the road, you and the winding, empty concrete beneath your wheels, and you've never questioned it. You've accepted a long time ago, that that's all your life would ever be made up of. Tyre tracks and an endless array of small towns. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.
And then he comes back in and everything gets that much more complicated.
Sammy is your conscious. He's the one who tells you when you've gone too far. The one that knows when there's something more than the latest hunt on your mind. He always knows. He knows you better than you know yourself, which is not a good thing. You don't need to be told what to do. It's your life, and you were living it perfectly fine before he came along.
Or were you?
You turn to the left, the engine humming softly in the quiet night air. It's still another three hours to go before you reach the next town and already you can feel your eyes dulling slightly, you've been awake for too long.
Sam shifts in his seat, his long limbs falling limply to the side, squashed against the car door. He must be cramped, you think. He's too tall for his own good. He shivers, and you look down at him. He's like a little child. He's five again, and you're nine, dad's out on another one of his hunting trips and you're left to look after him. Figures.
Keeping an eye on the road, you shimmy out of your jacket. It's cold, but maybe that'll be enough to keep you awake for the remaining two hours and fifty minutes. Carefully, you place the jacket on top of your brother, spreading it out, one hand on the steering wheel, the other tucking him in.
He tugs on your jacket, another habit he never grew out of, balling bits of it in his fists. You sigh wistfully, and stare out at the open road. There are parts of your brother that never quite grew up.
It gets hard thinking of him as your little brother because that means that you're not as invulnerable as you thought. That means you have an attachment to this world. Something that you have to look after. He is, after all, your flesh and blood, and you have to protect him no matter what. It's your duty as the oldest one. Doing the job the both of you do, is just another reason to keep him close. It's easier to look after him when you know he's there by your side.
You tighten your grip on the wheel, and switch on the radio, lowering the volume so it doesn't wake Sam up. But it's not enough to distract you from your thoughts.
You've always lived your life recklessly. It's a part of you. You live in the moment, not caring about the future until you're there. Because nobody would miss you, right? Nobody would care that you're gone. No attachments, that's your motto. And it's worked up until now. Now you owe it to your father. You owe it to Sam. You have responsibilities, and who else has Sammy got?
You love your brother. You do.
He's the only one you've got left in the world anymore.
And you intend to make it stay that way.
A/N: Written in the afternoon, after being bored out of my mind. Plus I wasn't even reading Supernatural fics, this just came to me and I had to write it. At the start I'd intended it to be a lot more Wincest-y...but it turned out more as a brotherly one. So I just headed in the direction I felt like writing in. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are very, very welcomed.