Title: To die
Pairings: Edward and Bella
Summary: Sequel from TO LIVE, 4 years ago he broke the rules and tried to play human, 4 years ago he left a burning city and a broken hearted behind, now he's back to fulfill his promise: "Ill be back for you love" VERY DARK EDWARD
WARNINGS: not read if you have a sensitive stomach, it contains; abuse, violence, blood, rape, etc etc…NOT YOUR LOVING TWILIGHT EDWARD! So don't read if you cant handle it!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: firstly I want to thank you all fervent readers for reviewing all the time and reading this piece of work, im very excited with the sequel and I hope you manage to get through it. Hope I don't disappoint you! Enjoy!
I've never given much thought of how I would die, but dying in the arms of someone you love seems like a good way to go.
"Happy birthday!" Everybody cheered, willing her to go on and she blew off her candles, like if she was a six year old.
Like if she was a cheerful person. Like if she wasn't a numb girl.
Like if 'the disaster' 4 years ago had never happened.
Like if she wasn't a broken-hearted.
She was finally nineteen years old, she was no child! She was far from being that innocent fifteen year old who sold her soul to the devil, she knew better than to be happy or possess a smile on her face, she had lost everything she held close and matter in her life.
For a stupid mistake, for a stupid misunderstanding.
"Bella, aren't you gonna eat your cake?" Her Nan's grin fell from her face when she looked down to her grand-daughter; Isabella was wearing a frown and her eyes didn't have a glow on them, they didn't glint or shine brightly, they only had a big void in them.
"I'm kind of tired," she explained getting up, earning a look from her Nan, Mary and little four year old Jane.
They were the only ones who could make it to the table.
It was impossible to move her Father's motionless ill body or Louis's burning body either, it had been a long time since they've been fighting with the Spanish influenza, and they didn't look like they were going to make it.
She walked down the hallway passing through their bedrooms so she could get to her own bedroom, it was sick to see.
The sight of one doctor and two nurses trying to heal death bodies.
There was nothing more to do there, she knew.
As soon as she stepped inside her room she made sure to close the door behind her, old habits die hard.
She found a note on her desk.
Happy birthday, love
Jacob. She sighed.
He had yet to give up; he was persistent and would stick his nose up her business all the time. It didn't help they spent a lot of time together seeing Billy Black was at her house at all times to make sure he was there for her father, so that included extra quality time with Jacob.
Like if nothing had ever happened.
Like if he didn't betray her trust.
She was forced to remember that, by her father, by Billy's legs, by little Jane's scar on her face, and by the mark she had on her neck.
Above all things, by his mark on her throat.
It was something that would always stay with her, whether she had made the choice or not.
It reminded her how her life had been taken out of her almost by an inch, how she was been put through several medications and doctor appointments, or blood transfusions.
It reminded her how he had doomed her life and how he promised to be…back.
He never came, and some small part of her was aching at the thought of never seeing him again, not being able to redeem herself or let her explain herself, some small part of her wanted him to be back for her.
But the biggest part of her was glad he wasn't back and not seen in forever.
Because she was scared, dead frightened.
Her hand squished the paper and threw it away on her basket, dismissing any word of Jacob away; she wished she could squish him like that.
"Bella! Jacob's here!" Mary's voice called out down the stairs, she sighed.
Reluctantly, she walked down the stairs only to be met with Jacob's wide grin at the bottom and a present on his hands.
She managed to curve her lips into a small smile, Mary giggled when he brushed her hair with his hands giving her a shove, they were all happy and brain washed.
Jacob was not a kid anymore, he got even more taller if that was possible, he had grown muscles and his hair was cut down short and spiky everywhere.
Of course he wasn't the thirteen year old she met once.
He was a horny eighteen year old who hoped to get something from her, and most of the time he only got the cold shoulder, but he knew better to feel special about that, Isabella Swan has learned to be a stuck up cold as ice bitch.
"Hey," she greeted not too thrilled about it.
Couldn't he just have settled with his note?
He jumped up one or two steps to be eye level with her.
"Hey." He smiled wide with his gift still shaking on his hands. "I just wanted to make sure to stop by and hand you this." He handed her the gift as she nodded with a polite smile.
"You shouldn't have…"
"But I wanted to, so get used to it."
Why should she? It's not like she was being stuck with him for the rest of eternity.
Billy Black rolled in that precise moment with his wheel chair, looking up with a smile when he caught a glance of her.
"Oh my! Isabella Marie Swan!" He laughed, she bit her lower lip trying to keep her gaze on his eyes and not his legs, she couldn't bare the thought of having to leave a man in a chair for the rest of his life. It was too much guilt to bear.
"Haven't you just gotten even more beautiful!"
She looked down at the floor, annoyed with the every day line they imposed on her. She didn't believe a word they said, they were always trying to be nice and polite for her sake, so they wouldn't hurt her feelings, in fact there was a…man who didn't need to put limitations on his modals, he was just raw and blunt as he was. But at least he didn't lie to her; he said so himself how hideous she was to him, he only needed a hole to fit-
Her thoughts were interrupted with a cough that brought her back to present.
She looked up to see Mary giving her a glance.
"Oh…yes…sorry, thank you." She nodded politely. "I'm just very tired, how's your flu going?"
"Very well, thank you."
"I shall stop by tomorrow; we still have some of that chicken soup left."
"Marvelous." Billy nodded clasping his hands together.
"We'd love to have you." Jacob let her know with a hopeful glance, never taking her eyes off of her in admiration. Mary wasn't too comfortable about it either, she had grown very jealous of her sister, of her beautiful sister.
She was like the butterfly escaping out of her cocoon.
In spite of what she said, or what she thought, she had grown to be a woman, with skin and meat on her once skinny bones, big round breasts and high well tone hips with a round backside, she caught every boys' attention and every ladies' jealousy, high society profiles turned her way with pain in her eyes after watching such a glorious long brown haired woman.
She was not a child anymore for Pete's sake! She learned to be a woman (with help of some people) and she learnt how to attend herself and act like one.
She hold back though, she combed her hair to disguise her beauty because she didn't stand the thought of man looking her way, she never want to be put on the spot, not ever again. She didn't need it. She didn't want it.
"I'll stop by in the morning then," she promised with a tired look.
She would have loved to get out of there as soon as she said the words but she knew better then to leave company hanging on the door.
"Would you like some tea?" She offered walking down the stairs with a drooling Jake behind her and a furious Mary.
She hated the fact her father imposed Jake on her life especially when she knew one of her sisters' eyes had caught him, but she had no choice in the matter either, it was not completely her fault.
So they sat eating tea and discussing about the subject one too many times.
"I don't think you haven't spent enough time with me, to say you like me." She tried to get it out of his system, so maybe he would back off a little.
"What's there not to like?" He laughed showing his proud smirk.
"Jacob…" She warned but he cut her off not giving her a chance to deny him once more.
"Besides, I think we can settle that problem about not spending much time together, don't you think?" He winked with a hopeful look on his face.
"I don't think that's a way to speak to a lady," she snapped; she had enough of it!
Of course he shifted on his seat and mumbled an apology like it was expected, earning glares from Mary, who hadn't got the chance to earn his attention or his word.
Eventually the subject changed for everybody's enjoyment. But of course there was always that girl who remained still in the moment and heard the tons of conversation going on, but she sat still, wondering where life had took her. How could it lead her to such hypocrite people? Weren't they here the last couple of years? Weren't they the ones who betrayed her trust?
She didn't have time to whine about it either, her father had slapped her after the commotion was over, after she had blood on her system, after everything was done, after people were killed…after he was gone. He had said to her to get over it and get on with her life, then the influenza hit him and ever since he's been on a bed giving still orders about her life, which meant spending an awful lot of time with Jacob freaking Black.
"Well I think it's time to leave." Billy clapped his hands, Jacob nodded and got up as everybody did.
"I'll walk you," Bella offered with her perfect manners she has learnt to use.
Once at the door they said their goodbyes.
"'Till tomorrow morning then." Jacob gave her a last glance to confirm her assistance.
"We'll be there." She made sure to emphasize the 'we', which of course earned a disappointed look from Jacob (which didn't go unnoticed by Mary) and of course he immediately replaced it with a smile and a wave as he got in their carriage and went off.
But Bella's problems were not quiet over yet. So much for having a happy birthday. As soon as the door was closed behind her, she became prepared for her sister's assault.
"I can't believe you!" She snapped in horror, Bella sighed.
"Mary please!" She pleaded with her.
"NO! You are such a…whore!" She screamed at the top of her lungs while leaping up the stairs, Bella dropped her mouth open in disbelief.
Things have definitely changed.
She went for the kitchen taking all the cups in the sink and washing them away, remembering how it felt to have the cold breeze of England on her face, how to sink her feet on the river by her shack, or how it felt the smooth green grass in her back, she remembered how it felt to be England, she missed it.
She never thought she could call it a home, after her mother had passed away, but she missed it alright.
After the…'incident', her father brought them to a deserted town near France, it was clear of unwanted guests and a good looking place to live.
There were a lot of things she missed and wished to take back, but timing was never on her side.
Once in her room she discarded her dress aside searching for her gown to slip on when suddenly a rush of cold wind hit her back, and she shuddered almost jumping out of her skin; it was too cold. Quickly she slipped the gown on and put her robe when she turned around she saw her window wide open, she grimaced.
It was too cold in here.
She closed the window not looking back pulling the curtain down with it.
When she turned around there in her mattress laid her mother's silver cross, which protected her at all times…expect…'that once', she didn't feel the need to wear it any longer but it was still the only reminder of her dead mother so instead of worrying about losing it, she hanged it on her bedside table with her bible and her usual candle that was the only light she got at night.
"Right where I left you," she mumbled looking down at it, when she took it in her hands it was like flashes of that night came back to her, how it didn't sting on him once he reached her, how he bared the pain enough to eat her. Quickly she dropped it, they were painful memories.
She saw the bed in appreciation, she was so tired and sore, but she didn't want to sleep, she didn't want to dream, she didn't want to go back there.
Because when her eyes closed there was only one thing to see, only one face to watch. Only one tragedy to relieve. On and on.
Like if it was all part of his plan. Like if he meant every thing of this to happen.
But it didn't take long before sleep reigned over her.
And she dreamt alright.
Oh! If she dreamt!
She was in a forest, it was dark, and the fog clouded her vision, she was agitated and running, her legs seemed to move but she was not getting anywhere far, tears streamed down her face.
"So you think you can fight me off?"
She cried harder, looking for her home or anywhere to hide.
"You're mine Isabella, there's nowhere you can hide now." He laughed darkly, she screamed while she ran for her life, she made the mistake of looking back but there was nothing there and when she looked up in front of her, again there he was, like she remembered him.
He was on her face, hovering like he used to. With a dark menacing stance and eyes that could kill her.
"Mine, forever!" She screamed when he snapped her neck to the side and sinked his teeth into her, she cried, screamed, but nothing would do, she trash on him trying to jerk him off, but it was an unbelievable force.
"I'll come back for you love."
She woke up with a scream, it didn't took her a long time to realize it was her scream, she was sweating and her chest rose up and down with erratic breaths coming out of her.
She took a look in her surroundings but she was right where she slept on her room, on her bed.
"Calm down," she said to herself.
It was stupid to think about it anymore, it's been years, he didn't fulfill his promise and she's glad he didn't, she had to get over it! It was stupid to panic about a non existence danger.
There was no danger anymore, the worst had passed.
Quickly she gather herself up and put on her white gown, throwing her dark cloak on, she didn't forget she was supposed to pay a visit to her dearest friends, yeah right! When she came down the stairs Mary was already there waiting for her with an excited look on her face, like last night had never happened.
That was the problem with these people now days, they forgot. They forgot how their lives have been taken away from them, they forgot how it all went down hill after vampires attacked them, they just stood hidden and safe.
She took her basket and put the hood of her cloak on as she walked side by side with Mary, ignoring glances people threw her way, everybody knew Isabella Swan after the disaster and the hell 'she' put them through. It was clear of what she was, of who she dared to be with.
Soon they reached the Black's house, stepping in they were greeted with their maid Maria, who welcomed them in and call out for their hosts.
"Bella!" Jacob grinned from ear to ear when he saw her, making the both girls get up to greet him.
"Hello Jacob," she said with a smile.
"Hi," Mary greeted with a big grin unlike her sister.
"Did you open my present?" He asked after they have sat down and tea was served.
"Yes thank you, I really loved it." She hated to receive presents, or any kind of affection in material, she didn't like to bother people or been put through an awkward situation; it wasn't like her to do so.
"Well as you see that gift was just a preview," he smirked, she groaned.
"Bella, don't argue with me! I'll send someone over to give you the rest of the puzzle, just so you know where to go next to find the bigger present." He smiled.
She hated riddles!
"Thank you." She didn't argue with him, tired of being ignored, but she knew better then to voice up her opinions.
"So when are you finishing school?" Bella asked.
"I'm home schooled so it shouldn't be too long, thanks for asking." He smiled, she nodded, it wasn't like she cared she just had to ask, because she was supposed to be polite.
"I'm glad you have the chance to finish your school, unlike me." He nodded.
"You don't need school anyway Bella, not as long as you have someone to care for you and look up for you." He gave her a warm smile, she didn't look up to meet his face, instead she dig her nose up on her cup and took a zip of her tea.
"Well it's getting late, we should get going, I have to prepare lunch." She got up with her sister following behind.
"So soon?" He asked, his eyes shattering before hers.
She figured if she wanted to get out she needed to play his game and abide his rules. That was the only way she could get out of here finally.
"Well…only if I want to find my present." She winked.
His frown fell from his gaze and was quickly replaced with a big smile.
"Okay then, you shall leave."
"I shall send someone to hand you the next clue, I'm pretty excited about this Bella, I'm sure you'll love it." She caught Mary's eye roll.
"I'm sure I will." She nodded with a smile, it's not like if she had a choice, she had to love it either way.
"Goodbye," Mary spat in a resented tone.
"Goodbye Mary, see you soon," and with those few words she lit up like if she was receiving her Christmas gift.
Bella hid her face on the hood of her cloak once again, but Mary didn't hide herself away from the crowd, she had no reason to, and her sister neither, she just figured she was just being dumb and silly so she let it go, but she was not about to hide away her furious lock of blonde hair falling in curls.
She was a lady after all, she was sixteen and already chasing after boys. Or one in specific.
The walk back was silent as per usual, they didn't share any words, Bella didn't ever talk any longer, she was not happy where she was.
Was it wrong to say some part of her would of wish to die that night?
She felt like she deserved to, because he had doomed her, he had made a choice of her life and she wasn't dead so she imagined his last request was never fulfilled. But then again he did say some words that might get to her, and start wondering the 'what ifs'?
I'll come back for you love.
4 years and not a word.
She moved on, she needed to.
When she got home she prepared lunch with her Nan, while Mary attended her father and sister, who didn't look like getting up out those beds any time soon.
"How are they doing?" Bella asked pacing around the kitchen with a pan in hand, asking but not really caring. She had lost a long time ago every hope of watching her father up and ready to go to work, or her sister's lit up face ready to get into trouble, she had lost faith of a lot of things.
"As usual." Her Nan let her know, "Not any improvements."
She nodded, not like she expected anything better than that.
Mary came down the stairs with a frown on her face.
"What's wrong?" Bella asked intrigued and concerned.
"I talked to dad," Mary announced, now a days talking to their father was a challenge, most of the time you couldn't catch what he was saying, he was always babbling out incoherent words or sometimes thoughts, he was losing it.
"It was different," she said, which caught everyone's attention. "It was like…if he was … saying goodbye." She looked up to meet Bella's gaze, that didn't seem to be amused by this fact, well Isabella Swan learned to hide away her emotions, she learned how to put a lock in between them.
"Set the table will you?"
When she was finally done with her meal and everybody was taking their nap she ran to her bedroom, she needed to get to her nap herself, every inch of her body was sore, she didn't know why, every time she woke up it was like if she had been in a work out, or a race, every time she opened her eyes her muscles were burning and her skin was hot with sweat.
What did this mean? She felt like a huge weight was over her.
Whatever it was, it made her dead tired and the bed was her escape, but that meant to close her eyes, which meant to dream.
And she didn't like to dream. She didn't want to dream.
And there she was, in their meadow, laying in the once green grass with orange leaves, October falling on her face with a sweet breeze, but then it all went black, when she closed her eyes to breath the sweet air she snapped them open only to find him there, hovering above her with that cryptic cold glare on his eyes, and suddenly there was no October, there was only a cold winter falling upon her.
A cold as an ice storm hitting her, and he was there, his eyes reminding her how she deceived him, how she betrayed him, she betrayed his trust. She betrayed their love.
It reminded her how he hated her.
Cold eyes that once intimidated her, were exposing her naked to him; body and soul.
"No more chances."
He growled and then he launched himself on her.
And then she woke up startled as always.
The wind hit her face and for an instant she thought she was still dreaming. That's when she realized her window was wide open, again.
She sighed, frustrated this happened all the time and it was time to put a lock on it. The rush of wind would always snap her window wide open and scramble her papers away.
Getting up from the bed she went for the window and closed it shut with a loud bang, then she turned around on her desk to find her papers all over the place, she sighed one more time and picked them up, but one of them caught her attention.
It was the same paper she threw away last night, the 'Happy birthday love' wishes, from Jacob of course. It was all scrambled and wrinkled like she had squished it, but now it was open and there was a small print that wasn't there the night before, it read:
"Runs over fields and woods all day. On the bed at night sits alone hoping not for too long, with long tongue hanging out, awaiting for a bone."
Oh damn! That was the clue he meant, was he for real?
Riddles? Please! Aren't they too old for that?
And what did it meant? Was he getting her a dog?
Runs over fields and woods all day.
That means whatever her gift was, it was hidden in the forest, at the woods in the back of her yard.
On the bed at night sits alone hoping not for too long.
Was he really giving her sexual innuendos? Was he really that desperate?
She knew one thing; he was delusional!
With long tongue hanging out, awaiting for a bone.
If he was getting her a dog she'll kill him. Did she look like she had the time to take care of a dog?
She sighed one more time and put the paper in her pocket, she didn't have time to care about this now, she might check it out later only to get it over with, but right now she needed a shower.
A long warm shower that will calm her temper down, she sat in the tub. Her knees were against her chest wrapping her arms around them, right here she didn't need to put a smile on her face and pretend everything was alright. Right here she was on her numb stance, and not getting out of it.
When she was finally done she came down the stairs where her Nan was getting started on dinner, how long had she been out? Dear god! Dinner time already?
Damn! She rushed to the closet and picked her cloak, she might as well get her present soon before night falls, she didn't want Jacob to come once again and not find her without his gift.
"Bella! Where have you been?" Mary snapped but before she could tell her how Jacob had been looking for her she cut her off.
"Not now Mary! I gotta go! I have no time, I'm running late!"
"Bella wait, we've been looking for you…"
"I'll be back soon," and with that she stormed off closing the door behind her and putting her hood over her head.
This was totally inexcusable. She should pay more attention.
Runs over fields and woods all day.
Ok that was enough help, she went on the back of her yard and stepped onto the rainy grass, careful enough not to slip she walked around 'till she could find anything that would help her guess where her gift was. She thought about going to the small bridge that was far at the end of the forest, but she knew Jacob wouldn't want her to go there alone so she kept walking waiting for something to enlighten her.
Beause right now she was clueless of what to find, that's when it hit her, maybe try and look for a dog or hear a bark, she had an idea her present was a dog.
She kept walking over fields and woods, over wet floors and mud dirt.
She thought she saw something, like a shadow, she turned around when a rush of wind hit her back but there was nothing there, besides trees and mud, nothing hunting her.
She took a deep breath and kept going, she thought she heard a yelp, but shook out of it, there was no human life around here; she was far into the woods, no one dares to come in here.
She walked two or more lines of trees when suddenly she found her gift.
Of course by the time she found it, Isabella Swan was oblivious to a man with a funny hat and a blue suit, with a strange accent and a peculiar color of eyes was knocking at the door at her house with a delayed envelope from Jacob Black that contained her clue for her real present.
But of course, seeing she had the clue in her hand she didn't put much thought into it and followed the lead, she should have.
Because appearances can be deceiving.
And if she were to wait in her room and analyze the context of the clue in her hands, or wait for that strange man with a funny accent to give her an envelope from Jacob she would of realized the scrambled piece of paper didn't belong to Jacob Black, but from a man who promised to come back to her.
If she would have waited on her bed and waited for that strange man with a funny accent and a delayed envelope she wouldn't have seen Jacob's Black dead body hanging upside down in a far tree with blood dripping from his mouth, his chin, because his mouth was cut open in a half.
With long tongue hanging out, awaiting for a bone.
"AAAAHHH!!" She screamed, but there was no life in the woods to hear her, or acknowledge her presence because you see she was far off into the woods.
She put her hands on her mouth screaming her lungs out, every instinct in her body told her to run but her feet were glued to the floor.
"Did you like your present love?"
There it was, that dark laugh that haunted her dreams at night, that dark voice she heard echoed in the back of her head. That voice she was too familiar with.
More than she liked to by now.
She ran, turned around on her heel and ran for her life, she didn't catch a sight of the…man…vampire.
But she ran, for dear life.
Jacob Black was dead, forever! How many more people did he have to kill before she was completely undone and without a heart? She ran to her home, because she feared to find it empty. She ignored the laugh that echoed in the forest while she ran, she ignored it because she couldn't confirm her thoughts, he couldn't have left her without a family.
He couldn't be back either.
But hey! Here he was!
And here to stay.
She opened the door wide open and when she found her sisters and grandmother having dinner she let out a breath of relief.
She didn't want to catch attention, that's the last thing she wanted.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she said quickly before running up the stairs, she closed the door behind her and found her window open, she closed it with a bang, letting a tear fall as she sticked her hands too long on the frame of her window, just the thought of him sneaking in her room by the window all this time, all along sickened her.
She turned around with heavy breathing and then she panicked.
There he was.
The man…- NO!
The vampire that took her life away.
Or well most of it.
And he was just like she remembered.
Frigid, cold and dead.
He had a wicked grin on his face as he leaned on the wall.
"Long time no see love."
She cried, because it was about the least she could do.
"I told you I'll be back."
She took an inch closer to her night stand never taking her eyes off of him, she needed protection right now.
But as soon as her hand caught her silver cross, it was snatched away out of her hand by a strange force, he didn't make any move from where he was standing though. She gripped her hand in pain, while the cross laid in the far corner of the floor, she stared at him bewildered.
"Like my new skill?" He grinned, crossing his arms against his chest, she looked like she had missed something.
"It comes quite in handy." He smirked once again and all of the sudden she had to prevent her gown to come on her face, her skirt had lifted up all the way to her face and when she snapped out of it she put it down firmly with shaking hands.
He grinned completely amused about the new found treasures.
"Things have changed." His glare darkened as his eyes never left the skirt of her gown.
"You killed Jacob!" She spat with venom.
"He was touching what's mine," he whispered slowly, she cried harder looking down on her hands trying to find the strength to not crawl on her feet and cry, she needed to be strong and stand, but her knees were not doing the job.
"You hurt me!" She accused looking up at her hand.
"Do you really want to go there?" He laughed.
She was aware she had caused him pain, but for him to voice it up meant it was bad.
"What do you want from me?" her voice broke, with restrained emotion of pain, fear and anger.
"I've come here for you, you've been kept away from me for far too long." She looked up at his darkened eyes in fear. "It's time to go." It was not a request or a question, it was an order, she moved or he'd take her willingly or not.
"No," she cried as a sob parted from her lips.
"Don't do this! You don't mean it!" She begged to him staring him full in the eye, but all of the sudden he was gone, he was not in front of her anymore. He was behind and the cold breath of his hit her neck letting her know where he was.
He didn't make a move to touch her, but he hovered over her expecting her to do something. She cried shutting her eyes in pain because she knew far well what was to come.
"Say goodbye love."
Then it all went black.