Author's Note: Enjoy!
He thought of ways to punish her, to make her sacrifice, to hurt her, to make her cry blood. But he just wasnt strong enough this time.
This time he lost more than his head. He had just risked the most important thing in his existance.
Patiently he kneeled to crawl her reluctant body on his arms, she struggled a little in resistence but finally gave out when her strength was nowhere to be found. He sensed fear alright. Fear to lose her. It was not an option. But condamming her to a life of shadows or a life without a soul was not an option either.
Wait. Why did he care?
She was his mate. His and only his, forever. He had made up his mind about that along time ago. Since the very first time he saw her on the river, with inexperience and foolishness.
And when she put some heart on him it only made matters worse, she engaged him, put his mind and will to her hands and she deceived him. Marking him for dear life.
Fooled by a human.
She tried to explain to him things didn't happen like that but he was not to listen, he had made up his mind along time ago.
He set the bath for her and pulled her in with clothes on and everything. She looked up at his eyes when he moved away to leave suddenly stopped by her voice.
"Dont…" she restrained herself from saying something he knew, he turned around and gave her a quizzical look "…leave" she sighed after a while defeated finally.
"Why would you want me here?" he asked, trully and utterly confused.
She restrained herself one more time, shaking her head and having a mental war with herself, dealing with her thoughts.
"I dont want to be alone" she sighed harshly, feeling stupid for being so vulnerable. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"You hate me" he said, not like if it was a sentence, but like a question, if she hated him so much to even want to try and kill herself to not be with him, why would she want him here with her right now?
"I dont want to be alone, and you're the only one in this god-damn forsaken place i feel close to" she rolled her eyes at the thought, after all he's the only person she could ever get close to here and he did that. It was a stupid thought.
"I cant read your mind Isabella, you're going to have to explain to me…" he snapped a little, he was very confused why she wanted him here at last. And he wanted to know the answer, cause if she were getting used to him, he could deal with that thought. Oh yes! He'd be greatly satisfied to hear that. To live with that thought.
"Just leave!" she sighed waving him away.
He sighed hurt, really and very hurt.
He turned around and walked away before she could sense that. This human! His human! His mental and crazy human was making him crazy himself!
How could one tiny critical woman evoque such differents emotions in one vampire in less than a heart beat…
Well that's relative in his case now, isnt it?
He sat on the bed and thought about what just happened minutes ago. Hell she was about to die, an inferior creature was about to rip her away from him, he had come so near to lose her that it never dawn on him what it would feel like to really lose her aside from his usual threats.
He couldnt deal with her gone. And he couldnt take her soul away either, it was not in his plans, not anymore.
He didnt think about what would happen once he brought her in, take her in, make her his, and then what?
She sank him in once again, pulling him in edge, breaking through his barrier like a god-damn candy fest for children!
And not barely minutes ago he found himself looking his real home and place. It was her. All along.
All the sudden he was not so selfish and self-centered in his own needs, all of the sudden what she thought of him, or what she wanted mattered to him, it made him uneasy and he didnt like it one bit, but what he couldnt stand or possible be compare to was how she felt the world fall down on her when she couldnt kill herself, of when he wouldnt let her kill herself actually, it was like if she were hoping for that to be her escape. Like all hopes came flying down the window once she wasnt able to reach her goal.
He was brought back to present when she stood there gazing at him with a towel wrapped around her wet form, he stared at her back, longing her gaze more than her body this time.
"C'me here" he put his hand up for her to take, she did hesitating a bit.
He felt for the first time the tenderness of her small fingers entertwining with his, and he almost wanted to smile if the moment wouldnt be so tragic, it was like he was reaching for her to hold onto him forever and all he got was selfish seconds instead.
He pulled her closer by her hand, pulling her to his lap, his forehead resting against her head his eyes closed a minute in pain, the monster was dwelling back and instead this lonesome creature appeared.
"I want out" she spoke firmly. He shook his head 'no'.
"If you wont kill me, or let me go then turn me, i dont care but do something, put an end to this torture!" Bella asked her eyes tearing in pain as she watched his own pain show, it was killing her to see him like this, so vulnerable it made her feel unprotected.
"No" he said firmly shaking his head one more time.
He looked at her and she saw the pain, but she wasnt standing back either.
"Do it" she gave him a perfect look of her neck, exposing it to his will. It was his call now.
It was his call since the first day he had taken her by force.
"If i cant bring you back to being the man – she opted to say this instead of vampire or creature or human…- i used to know and love then give me no part in your torture no more!" tears striked.
He looked up in surprise at her.
Her confession getting through him.
But not quite.
"Cause what i want from you i can never have" he shook his head and gripped her tighter to his arms, afraid of letting her go, it was like she was slipping on her own and no matter how hard and tight he held onto she was leaving.
He was not having that.
"I know what to do with you now" he said she looked to him and was met with his dark eyes, and besides from lust there was something he wasnt showing completely to her.
He turned around spooning her around with him, pulling her underneath him, she never broke eye contact with him, his gaze was usually filled with sex and cruelty, but this time when he tightened her hands above her head and gripped them in one of his hands, she saw something more, like if he were torn.
She didnt resisted this time when he pulled her gown up her waist and let his hands explore.
This time felt so different from the others, it was almost like if he was giving all the strength and passion in him, like if he was losing a battle with himself.
One finger entered her and she gasped, parting her lips which were soon caught with his own lips, eyes never breaking contact, his tongue escaped to her open mouth and explored, inch by inch.
Inch by inch he knew already by heart.
She was wet enough for him when he broke apart to tear his shirt off just in time for her to dispose of her dress, pulling it aside, his arms constricting her in a tight hug while his cold chest pressed her down onto the mattres in contact with her warm breasts, this hug was like if he was printing her on his skin.
She had to gasp a little for her to understand he was holding her too tightly and break apart a little, but soon enough was back to pull in and capture her lips in a violent rush. He parted her mouth with his impulsive tongue tasting her when she demanded the same contact with her own.
He rubbed his fully clothed erection on her center making her squirm in pleasure, and gasp at the sudden feeling, it would never be enough to get used to his size, it always hurt a little before it would please, just like Edward! before loving so tender like he was doing now he had to first hurt you ten thousand times before.
Cause what he did so far before this was mindless fucks and poor and cruel torture.
This was all new, the way he touched her sent good chills down her spine, his touch was almost delicate, almost. It still held menacing fear, you could never know how far you could get with Edward. How much he would ceade.
He lowered one hand down between her center and his manhood making her gasp at the sudden touch, but it was not to touch her, it was to unzip his pants.
"Mine" he grumbled in between kisses, lowering his tip just at her entrance without going further, she rosed her hips up in search of friction.
"Say it" he whispered on her ear, begging her to do it, like if it was mental for him to hear those words coming out of her mouth before he lost herself in her.
"Always" and that was enough for him to set him on the edge of the bliss, he entered her fully and groaned at the feel of how tight she was after the many nights of stretching, she gasped in pain and pleasure, smiling for the first time since she've been with Edward.
It was all a blizz, something that came out of nothing, first they were killing each other and the next second they were all over each other. All this time she'd been trying to get out, she never realized she was already out, she was out of his mind, she was out of this feeling, out of what good would bring to be with him, all this time she had been out, and now she was finally inside since the awful and unfortunate turn of events years ago.
Now she was finally inside of him again.
Body, mind and soul.
He pulled back only to pull back inside at such force it brough her to ecstacy, she gasped and he equalled her screams just the same, the bed rocked back and forth at their own pace, and he constricted her body onto the mattress holding her steady to his rhythm.
She gasped and dig her nails on his back and shoulders.
"Slow down" she begged on his ear, it was new to him, he never felt this way, he tried to go slow and steady like she wanted to before she adjusted, he tried but didnt know if he was doing a great job out of it, he never had tried this before, he was only patient in getting what he wanted, he was always in a hurry and liked to go all the way roughly, but this whole slow/dying pace was not for him till he felt how he had just felt being with her in this second.
It was love making.
He looked up to her and she nodded at him signalling him it was okay for her, so he quickned the pace, pulling in and out of her roughly and fast, like they both liked it, there was a time for everything after all.
They both came at the same time, grinning like they've never did before, smiling to each other after it was done, but the hold his eyes had since the moment they started it it brought chills down her spine, his eyes held something he wasnt showing. It made her terribly nervous.
He pulled back and began to dress himself.
Her smile fell of her face as she pulled the sheet on her form.
"Your options are still on?" he asked without turning to look at her.
She didnt answer him waiting to take a look at his face, when he didnt turned around she jumped out of the bed and stood to face him directly in the eyes with a force she'd never had in her before him.
His eyes held her gaze, didnt cowar away and she was just as persistent as him if not even more.
"So its life or death?" she furrowed her eyebrows confused.
She had waved the up's and down's and after THAT, there was no way life would be compared to an existence with him.
She nodded her head 'no'. He shook his head and laughed at her.
"Well they have taken one side i see" he laughed, she was confused.
"Free to go, to live"
"I want to be free to die!" she said strongly, daring him.
He laughed at her persistence.
"By God you have no idea what you're asking for"
"Im not leaving you…"
He gazed at her eyes in longing, he was already condamned to an existence alone.
He was all alone.