Title - Time will Set You Free
Author - Julesmonster
Summery - A sad sobworthy peice where Jack finally accepts losing Rachel.
Disclaimer - they do I dont... Savage Garden owns the song 'You Can Still Be Free' I'm just using it here cos I felt like it :)
Authors Notes - I finally nabbed my Affirmation CD back from my friend who nabbed it like AGES ago, and was playing it, heard the song.. and though.. that is SOOOO sad.. and so here is a fic. This one goes to the Ratpak, apprentice, and the her Royal Highness Queen Rach Wakely. Be warned.. its sad and snuffle worthy. This fic was also inspired by the fic Feelin' Alive by the Sonmeister, so this one is for you woman :)
Time Will Set You Free

Jack Christey smiled, that sad smile that seemed to cross his features more often these days, the days approaching the one day of the year he dreaded. The anniversery of her death, Rachel's death. There wasn't a day that went by when he didn't think of her, her face, her smile, her body against his, even her last words. How he so wanted them to be for him, then after reading her diary, heck, he didn't even know she'd kept one, it had changed everything. There were times though, when he could have sworn he felt her there, just a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye, a ghostly image in the window pane, or the feeling that someone was watching him all those lonely nights at home, where he would sit, beer in hand on the couch, and think of her. Maybe she was out there, in some kind of ghost form... maybe.. who knows...
Cool breeze and autumn leaves,
Slow motion daylight,
A lone pair of watchful eyes,
Oversee the living,
Feel the presence all around
A totured soul
A wound unhealing
No regrets or promises
The past in gone
But you can still be free.
He had read somewhere that the soul continues to be trapped in the world of the living if the death was sudden and there was unfinished business. Maybe he was the unfinished business. Sighing he shook his head and dismissed the thoughts. Old wives tales, nothing but rubbish. But as time went on, the more he tought of her, the more he felt her there, watching him, just out of sight, just out of reach. He took another swig of his beer and slouched a little further. The well worn diary sat on his coffee table, still bound together with the original elastic band, something inside him willed him to lean forward and grab it. To once again read her innermost thoughts, to know what she was thinking all those times she shrugged him off. No, it was too painful, to painful to even consider what could have been.
Caught up in her again he realized that he had never REALLY let go of her. Never REALLY accepted what had happened. Maybe that was what was tying her to this world. Nah more wives tales, more codswollup. Then again. Nah. But still, the time after her death had been all about revenge, payback, getting the bastard that did this to him, took HER away from him, but never greiving. Not REALLY greiving, he'd seen her body laid out, he'd lowered her into the ground himself, but he'd never totally and utterly accepted that she was dead. Gone, yes, not coming back, sure, but dead, no he still had problems with that. Probably why he'd never visited her grave again he figured. Acceptance, thats what it was all about. Acceptance.
Time now to spread your wings,
To take to flight,
The life endeavour,
Aim for the burning sun,
You're trapped inside,
But you can still be free,
If time will set you free,
But its a long long way to go.
*************** Come on Jack, let it go, just let it go. Let ME go, I can't go on like this, stuck here, not able to move on, not able to move back. Hang on a jiff, what's that light? Could it be? Nah.... he can't have finally.... nah... wait.. hang on....*************
Jack looked again at the diary, silent and lonesome on the coffee table, then to the scrapbook thrown on the floor in the corner. Something made him go to it and flick through its yellowing pages, taking in the images, the words, the truth. "Detective Fatally Wounded", " Sydney's Finest Policewoman Falls Victim To FoulPlay", "Callous Villian Kills Cop". The words echoed around his head as he crouched, swimming and mixing, all coming up with one conclusion. She's dead. A silent tear traced its way down his chiseled features, glistening in the pale light of the sole lamp that was on.
******** wait just a minute here. That light, what is it? Hang on I'll have a bit of a stickybeak. Whoa...*********
Keep moving way up high
You see the light
It shines forever
Sail through the crimson skies
The purest light
The light that sets you free
If time will set you free
Another tear, the same as its predesossor traced a smiliar path, tracing the jawline until falling and marking the ink below. He faltered, the almost dropping the scrapbook and landing on his rump, tears still trailing down his face. So this was what it was like. The hardest part, acceptance. They said it gets better after this. What would they know, stupid bloody shrinks. A sob escaped from his throat, a sound like that of a wounded animal. Raw pain. A tear dropped onto one of the many pictures, smudging out the face of the smiling woman completely. If only he could remember her like that, smiling, happy, wrapped around him in bed. But no, the only images in his tortured mind were those of her gasping for breath, fighting for every second of her life, then leaving him for the last time, as absolute as he knew his love for her was. She was gone. Dead.
'Come on mate' the voice in his head said 'she's dead. She wouldn't want you living in the past. Gez its been a year. Get on with your life like she would have wanted you to do. Heck like she DID want you to do most of the time' Self control vanished as the wounded creature clutched the book, tears streaming down his face, thoroughly ruining the printed ink below. The Healing had begun.
********* That light, its drawing me, its so beautiful. So this is what its like, finally. Thank you Jack, thank you for letting me go. Goodbye, I'll miss you**********
Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You're free to fly tonight
And you can still be free
If time will set you free
And going higher than the mountain top
and go high like the wind don't stop
and go high
free to fly tonight
free to fly tonight.