A/N Just something fun and light that struck me when I watched the 'penile fracture' playing out on youtube. I estimate that there will be about six chapters, maybe a few less. Anyway, enjoy :)

Chapter One – Scrabble

She can't believe it.

Well she can. Really thinking about it, playing scrabble with Mark Sloan was inevitably going to lead to this. It's just… When she suggested it two hours ago, it was in an effort to try and get his mind off sex, not turn him on.

At first it was tame. There were lots of double meanings. He came up with things like masochist which apparently has a totally non-sexual meaning as well. She wasn't convinced but she let it slip because out of all the dictionaries she's memorized not one has included the word masochist (she feels deprived.)

Things of course got worse from there. It wasn't just the tiles he was putting down to spell out words that were blatantly sex related, it was his expression – cheeky and mischievous like he was trying to undermine her.

She doesn't want to remind him of why he can't have sex for six weeks. She really doesn't. Every time she does it results in self hatred and guilt.

"Orifice?" She asks in disbelief.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Orifice?" She exclaims again in case he missed it the first time.

"Well I didn't have the 'S' or 'A' for sacrifice so..."

"Mark." She says in her best whiny voice.

"What? It's a hole or opening. It could be a wound or a pipe." He shakes his head, "and you say I've got a dirty mind…"

She throws an 'N' tile at his head. Unfortunately (and she's not completely sure how it happens because surely such things are only the products of divine intervention and she can't imagine God spelling out dirty words on a scrabble board) it bounces off and scatters some of the existing words.

"Does that say dil-?"

"Don't say it."

"Hey, that was you."

"No… It was you because you're an infuriating sex maniac!" She exclaims.

"Are you trying to tell me something? Do you want a dil-?"


"Exactly. I'm going to be out of action for six weeks. That doesn't mean-"

"Argh, no!" Se doesn't want to do this but with a sigh she leans over and takes a frying pan from the counter top, "Remember the pain."

He eyes the pan warily; "What exactly are you going to do with that Little Grey?"

"What do you think I'm going to do with it?" She asks smugly her eyes widening suggestively. She's saying it with her eyes. I broke your penis, I can do it again.

He winces.

"I'm just saying…"


"Okay. Do you want points for-?"



Don't suppose reviewers would be interested in 'dirty-scrabble' playing Mark? ;)