A/N: You're right, actually, that wasn't my best effort ^_^ that'll teach me to rush. Actually, re-doing it this way will let me kill two birds with one stone...
Hikari's class was a well-oiled machine, kept together by prodigious use of high-voltage, but a well-oiled machine nonetheless. The supreme empress looked around, and smiled to herself. Students were studying, conversing in hushed whispers, and occasionally shooting her looks of mixed envy and fear. A warmth spread through her being, one she recognized by now.
Hmm, Shinji, she purred mentally, you're not in class. I know we have a special relationship, but I'll still have to punish you if-
His presence withdrew suddenly, and the embarrassment she felt made her giggle.
"What're you so happy about?" Hikari looked up to see Asuka, the only other person who had a similar exemption.
"Oh, nothing," Hikari said lightly.
"Hmph. Okay." Asuka spread out her books before her, shifting nervously in her seat.
"I'm sure you'll be finding out soon enough," Hikari needled, then fell silent. "He's bored again, you know."
"What??" Asuka brought the back of her hand to her forehead. "Oh, for crying out loud- Get out of my head, you perverted little boy!!" Ignoring the stares from those around her, she heaved out a sigh and laid her head on her arms. "I really hate it when he gets... I'm still blushing, aren't I?" Not waiting for a laughter-choked Hikari to respond, she began ranting.
"Look, just go be bored somewhere else!"
Shinji dropped the cards he had been holding, looking at the pictures of the girls he supposedly had a relationship with. Each of them had adapted in their own way, and were currently using or abusing the powers he had given them with a kiss.
Well, that's great for them, but where does that leave me?
Pushing himself to his feet, he left the abandoned classroom, stuffing the cards in his pocket. It was a short walk to the music department, where Fate/Mana had taken over. Oddly enough, she was alone in the giant music room, which lifted his spirits.
"Hey, Shinji," she said, lifting her eyes momentarily from her guitar, which she was currently harrassing.
"Want me to get my Cello?" Shinji asked, suddenly self-conscious. "It's been a while since I've played a duet, but I'm sure I could-"
"I play better alone," Mana answered absentmindedly as she plucked out a complicated section over and over, trying to get it right. He walked out quietly, and the haunting strains of music diminished.
The only girls left were those on the weirder side of his harem. On the other hand, there was always Rei. She would never let him down.
Fifteen minutes later, he was retracting that line. He found himself standing at attention in the middle of a group of boys that varied wildly from jock to nerd to computer-wizard. Rei was walking back and forth in front of her troops, slowly bending and releasing a short riding crop she held in her hands. Her usual neutral expression was right at home with the Captain's uniform she had apparently programmed into her card.
Because of her beret, he couldn't be absolutely sure, but she had to be in Love Potion form. He sweated, trying not to stand out. The boys around him were obviously completely smitten and completely terrified. Despite this, he had yet to see Rei do anything to one of them physically.
She passed by where he was standing, did a double-take, then pulled him out of the line, leading him away by the arm. He wondered briefly if he had done something wrong.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. "You don't have to stand like that with them, I'm just practicing." She looked at him expectantly, but he couldn't find any useful words. "They mean nothing to me," she insisted, leaning forward and touching her cheek briefly with her lips. This had it's usual effect of scrambling his thought processes beyond repair. Moments later he found himself pushed a few paces away. "Go on, you're making them jealous. I'll see you later." A trace of a smile and a wink kept him moving mindlessly, until he had turned the corner. He leaned against the wall, and raised a hand to his face.
She kissed me on the cheek and sent me away. Even Rei doesn't have time for me.
He was wandering idly through the Geofront when Rits finally caught him.
"C'mon, we gotta do a sync test!" she said, carrying him bodily and chucking him into a test plug. He tried to protest, but she had already shoved the techs aside, and had personally dragged the purple-liquid-spewing hose over and turned it on full blast. With a sigh, he closed the hatch.
Maybe Misato somehow switched bodies with her, he decided uneasily. An hour later, he was standing dripping yellow stuff onto the metal decking while she wrote some clinical things onto her ever-present clipboard.
"Just as I thought," she said, her voice in no way carrying the urgency of what she was saying. "Eva no longer responds to you."
"Oh," he said, "is that all- wait, what?"
"I said..." Before she could repeat what she said, she blushed, coughed, cleared her throat, and got control of herself. "Umm, by the way," she said, shifting uneasily, "sorry I chased around with a bunch of Gendos the other day."
"-err, yeah, no problem," she lied desperately, so he could get back to the important part. "Did you just say, I can't pilot any more?"
"Yes," the good doctor answered. "I'm afraid that no matter how many Gendos I can summon, it won't stop the Angels camped out west of the city. And, while I understand the Second Child can become She-Hulk, I doubt Pilot Soryu can take them all on at once."
"Yeah, well I'd put my money on Asuka," Shinji mumbled, looking away for a moment. "Still, it's not like it matters," he muttered. "After all, I can reverse time-" he shut himself up too late, remembering that the kindly soul before him was actually something of an arch enemy.
"What-was-that-Shinjie??" she asked, suddenly hovering over him, her eyes sparkling.
"-umm, well, no, I said that we need to reverse our thinking-"
"-oh no, that's not what you said, you dear little boy," she said, tut-tutting, "if my cute little ears heard right, you can control time? Just- just think of the possibilities!" Her lab coat swirled as she made grand gestures. "The world could be ours! The world! BWAAAHAHAHAHA-!" She only just barely managed to restrain herself, turning and covering her face with her arms.
"Umm, doc...?" Shinji tried to pry her arms apart, and got a momentary glimpse of a very red face.
"-can't believe I laughed like that in front of you she mumbled, clearing her throat and eventually managing to pull herself back together. "Look," she finally said, "I'll just ignore that you control time, if you ignore that I have such an evil laugh."
"Not that I really am evil, mind you," she snapped quickly.
"No," he deadpanned, "of course not. Noooo..."
"Look, just never mind," she said, pushing a black plastic case into his hands and shoving him toward the door. "With the Evas out of the picture, that right there is humanity's last hope." She handed him an envelope. "Here's a train ticket. Remember, don't lose that case."
No one was looking towards the other side of the room where something white bulged around the corner of a corridor. On the other side of said corridor, Lilith danced with delight.
"I just heard something good, I just heard something good!" she said giddily, bouncing off to tell the other Angels.
"-so that's how it is." Lilith said to a thoughtful Shamshel. "They're defenseless. Completely defenseless!" The Angel smiled wickedly at this news. He immediately brought a tentacle to his mouth and emitted a shrill whistle. A storm of motion heralded the arrival of the two twin Angels, which, oddly enough, looked like dogs when motionless, which they rarely were.
"Heel, Bowser!" Shamshel commanded. "Heel, Tojo! Heel!" The two 'dogs' sat on their haunches, looking up adoringly at their master, tongues wagging. "Now," Shamshel said to Satchiel, "we've got to come up with a good plan that takes into account everything we know about what's changed in the city before us."
"Yeah? Satchiel says hesitantly. What kind of plan are you thinking about?"
Shamshel bent over towards his beloved pets.
"Boys?" He said, and the two creatures paid desperate attention, nearly vibrating with happiness. "Kill!" He yelled, pointing at the accursed city. The two sprang into motion, carving a path towards the hapless city.
The slow moaning of Tokyo-3's alert siren made Satchiel snicker.
"They're dead now, right brother?"
"Right-" Shamshel stopped speaking when a beam lanced out from the city-scape. A giant purple explosion threw the two dog-Angels into a handy nearby mountain.
"Haha, what now, you freaks??" an electronic female voice echoed loudly.
It was Mana, with her Trident, and Ramiel's remote control. The giant diamond hovered menacingly into the air.
"Sliiight change of plans," murmured Shamshel, who looked over towards where his brother was reflexively reaching down to try to protect his legs.
At this point in time, Shinji was trying to get a little rest on the train-ride over to wherever-it-was-Ritsuko-had-sent-him. This was made difficult by the fact that an attractive female his own age was asleep and slowly oozing her way onto his lap. He, of course, was a veteran of this situation, and was doing his best to try to discern whether this girl was the 'Tsundere' type, or the 'Yandere'. Accurately telling this vital piece of information was important for his continued survival.
Meanwhile, down the length of the train, a granny was having her life-savings stolen.
"What, you're not going to help her?" the girl cooed into his ear, and he desperately tried not to flinch in the wrong direction.
Darnit, definitely Tsundere. But which kind? If it's Type A, I can probably handle it-
Still wearing that beatific smile, the girl snatched his black plastic case and flung it at the nearest gangster, embedding the man's skull into the opposite side of the train.
"Hi," she said to him sweetly, "I'm Amane Mao. You just stay here, the Mao Empire military forces will deal with this!"
Shinji tried not to breathe wrong.
Crap. Type B.