Oh! The Things You Should Know

Summary: Abby decides (with a little help from her friend, Dr. Seuss) that it would only be fair to write down 'the Rules'—spoken and unspoken. It would lessen the confusion and hopefully help everyone on 'Team Gibbs' stay (or finally get) on the same page.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own them. I've just borrowed them for a bit. I promise to return them in better shape than I found them. No copyright infringement intended. I have borrowed from the immortal Dr. Seuss and from Wikipedia's NCIS Proverbs and Gibbs Rules. It has been said that "imitation is the best form of flattery"—it is that spirit I wish to reflect.

Author's Note: Pure FLUFF because I really needed it. I offer my sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss who, in my opinion, was one of this century's greatest philosophers! ("Don't cry because it's over—smile because it happened". Is that pure genius or what!?!) In my defense, I'm the only one in my household whose age is in double digits. Dr. Seuss is one of our favorites.

Love it / hate it? Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks!


They were finally here! Abby grinned as she opened the box, carefully taking out one of the oversized books—her brain child of a few sleepless nights made possible by the funds from this year's tax return She flipped through it, delighting in the simple yet colorful illustrations that had been drawn to complement the text. Returning the book, she lifted the box and carried it to her back room. A beep from Major Mass Spec alerted her that the mystery goo McGee had found on the sleeve of a current guest in Ducky's morgue was identified. Her 'gifts' would wait for a little while longer.

Oh! The Things You Should Know: The Unofficial Guide to Understanding Team Gibbs

Salutations, dear friends!

Hello one and all!

Native or foreign who've answered the call

To work at this place—the best of the best,

The wonderful place of N-C-I-S!


I've created a guide

To help us a bit

C'mon, now. Don't grumble,

Be happy—just sit

In your chair for a moment

And enjoy it, Be glib!

As I try and explain us: the team they call 'Gibbs'.


Boss man, El Hefe, My Silver-haired Fox,

A graduate, quite sadly, from the school of hard knocks.

Superpowers—he has them!

Of that have no doubt.

If you're trying to hide it—Gibbs is sure to find out!


Dear Tony, senior agent

Former OSU jock

He's a player, a charmer,

But he's really all talk!

His job? He'll get to it,

Bad guys won't get deferred,

Though to a movie or actor

They'll soon be referred.


My Timmy is special,

'Elflord' and close friend,

Problems with technology?

McGee is happy to mend.

Don't be misguided

I'm sure you will see,

Called teasingly 'Probie'—a great agent is he!


Our Mossad assassin?

She's funny and kind

Watch out for her driving

She's out of her mind!

I'll hasten to add this—'cause I value my life,

Ziva's trained, honed and ready

And she's skilled with a knife.


Dear Ducky will ramble

Sadly, it's true

But if you're cause of death seeking,

He's good at that, too.


The 'autopsy gremlin'

That's Palmer—sweet smile

Though while driving to crime scenes,

He's off half a mile.


That leads you to me,

A forensic Goth girl,

I love Bert and black roses,

Stools upon which I can twirl

On sexual harassment, the notes I did take,

But people, be reasonable!

Give me a break!

I love to hug everyone—

I'm bubbly and kind.

If I can't hug you out right—I will, in my mind.


Oh! Goodness gracious!

I almost forgot!

(Without a fresh Caf-Pow, that happens a lot)

Our Madame Director is one of a kind.

Her smile, her beauty, her tactical mind.

The loud noise that you hear?

It's only a fight—

Don't worry, don't hide

It will turn out all right.

'Mommy and Daddy' can't stay mad for long

The 'kids' won't allow it—

Emotions run strong.


That is our team.

Our own 'motley crew'

I love 'em all –what else can I do?

Oh! Is there a question?

What did you say?

What is a glimpse of a 'typical day'?


We do a lot of waiting.

Waiting for a case to break,

UST to boil over,

A point we should make.

A good AFIS match,

A reason to dance,

Sharing a memory,

For another chance.

We do a lot of waiting.


Chapter 2 is the "Rules"…. TBC