Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna
By Winter Knight
Chapter 1: "Day of the Fourth Ed!"
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy...but "The Fourth Ed" is mine!
This is a spin-off of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy". I always wondered what if Edna existed in the "Ed, Edd, n Eddy" canon and...THIS STORY DOES NOT CONTAIN SUPERNATURAL ELEMENTS...nor supernatural elephants so those ghost mammoths will have to go! YOU TOO FRED FREDBURGER!
long story short, if "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" is "Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro", then this story is "Hakaba Kitaro" but without the scary stuff. Also I wanted to introduce Edna in a proper "in-canon" way... But she is still caulrophobic!
Apparently, it seems that according to , Edna is Erin Fitzgerald's favorite EEnE OC and she voiced Nazz and May Kanker!
I got the idea of Edna when I introduced her in "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" chapter 49. I always wondered if there was EVER a fourth Ed... what if it happens to be a female? Also I noticed the show lacks any positive female characters so this was my responce. I also got a epic win from Erin Fitzgerald when I told her I noticed that! Also Edna is supposed to resemble "Ugly Betty" Suarez because... well... Ugly Betty was popular around the time I created her!
This is a sneak peak, if anyone likes this story, let me know! btw the story is supposed to be released when the movie comes out.
It was a hot August day in the Cul-De-Sac, Ed and Double D are just eating watermelons in Ed's house but then Eddy shows up with a perverted grin on his face and then says "Check out what I bought on Ebay with all the money we made from the "Devil Fruit Scam"! A fanmade videotape entitled "Sexy Sirens of Sci-Fi and Horror Revealed! Volume 4" two hours of film clips featuring scream queens, B-movie starlets, and even some real actressess in movies where they are topless...OR WORSE!!!" It even has Calisto, Tasha Yar, and half the cast of "Twin Peaks"..." Eddy is drooling in excessive amounts as he is saying this.
Double D and Ed just look at Eddy angerly. Double D then says "Eddy you just sank to a new low..." Ed then says "I always thought you were a pervert but that tops the gravy!" Eddy then says "Oh who's gonna know? It's gonna be a stag party for us! and besides...it has Tasha Yar naked! You like Star Trek, don't ya Ed?" Ed then grins and says "BEAM ME UP EDDY...but isn't seeing Tasha Yar naked against the prime directive?" Double D then then thinks to himself "I'll just humor Eddy... he's a sad strange little man!"
Eddy is then about to put the tape on the VCR and says "Gentleman...Behold!" Ed then says "Cool! is it the "Rabbot"?" Eddy then says "No Ed, I'm not Dr. Weird... You're Dr. Weird!...Now get ready for two hours of Double Ds...not you of course Double D!" As Eddy puts on the videotape, Eddy leers pervertedly as Ed watches along with him and Double D yawns...
But to Eddy's horror the videotape actually starts playing episodes of "Help! It's the Hair Bear Bunch!"
Double D says in mock-shock "Oh my! That's not Tasha Yar naked! it's the Hair Bear Bunch!" Double D starts laughing as Ed says "Bidibidibidi...you got hosed Buck!" Eddy angerly looks at Double D as he says "I guess Eddy learned what "Karma" means when he was scammed into buying that videotape online." Eddy grabs Double D and Ed by the neck and says "I'LL RIP YOUR KARMA CHAMELEON HEADS OFF!" Eddy then starts beating up Double D and Ed and when Ed gets punched on the stomach he kept saying "Hello Light! Hello Light!"
Nazz just opens the door and to her suprise she sees Eddy fighting with the other Eds. Then she pulls out a spray bottle and sprays Eddy with it till he stops fighting. The three are nervous by Nazz's sudden appearance and she says, "Hi guys, I want you to meet my Cousin, she just moved into the neighborhood and she needs some friends to help her out.
Double D seems confused and says, "But Nazz, we're not how you say "popular" why would your cousin want to hang out with us?" Nazz then says, "Simple Double D... she's also...A ED!"
Eddy then gulps and says, "Did you just say "She" and "also a Ed" in the same sentance?" Nazz then says, "Yep I did...and here she is! now play nice you three!" Nazz then winks at the three and says, "This is my cousin... EDNA!" As Nazz walks away, out comes a young hispanic girl their age sporting thick-framed eyeglasses a prominent set of braces, having long black hair and she's wearing a blue dress and sandals.
Then Edna slowly extends her hand and says to Double D in a calm soft voice, "Hello, I just moved to the neighborhood and I've heard so much about you boys according to Cousin Nazz... also she tells me you three scam anyone in your sights... plus the one who was beating you up is said to be a bit of a perv." Eddy wakes up and says "THAT'S MEGA-PERV YOU...you... say you are new around here..wanna" Before Eddy can finish, Edna throws a issue of Maxim into the face of a rather happy Eddy. Edna then says, "Cousin Nazz supplied me with that just to distract Eddy." Double D then says "Yeah, you didn't introduce yourself...umm..."
Edna then properly introduces herself, "The name is...EDNA... pleasure to meet you Double D" Ed then says "I am Ed...welcome to my basement!" Edna notices what was on TV and then she giggles. Double D then says "Umm do you find anything funny with "the Hair Bear bunch"? And Edna then says "That's funny, Nazz was right, we can't believe a perv actually fell for my scam!" Eddy wakes up from his spell and says "YOU DID WHAT!...man you're good!...BUT STILL I'M GONNA (Edna gives him back his money) TREAT YOU LIKE ROYALTY!"
Double D then says "You're a very unusual girl Edna, you even have a name that sounds like ours..." Edna then smirks and says "Not just that but... not only do I want friends but I would like to be part of your group and help you succeed in this dog eat dog world... besides you and Ed seem really cool! But Eddy can be easily scammed despite being the grifter of you three. Eddy then says "I like your style! Welcome to the club, we always have room for our group... even if you're not a guy." Double D then says, "Actually Edna, Eddy isn't used to being around females nor having a female as part of our group but me and Ed are beginning to like you already." Edna then blushes and smiles in a cute way.
Ed then says, "The new Ed should have a...AAAAHHHH! THE JAWBREAKERS ARE GONE! And something smells stinky!" Edna sniffs and says, "Smells like an unusual breed of perfume... do you know anyone with such a scent?" The three male Eds shout "KANKERS!" Edna then says, "That's serious, how can a Kanker sore smell like that?" Double D then says, "No Edna, the Kankers Sisters are the meanest crudest girls (except May) who treat us badly and make us their boyfriends... plus they steal our money and jawbreakers."
Edna then says, "Now that's not a very nice thing to do! Hmph! How about we go to their house and get those treats back?" Eddy then grabs Edna by the dress and says, "Are you on stupid pills? That's a suicide mission!" Edna then says, "For you boys at least but I'm a girl... what can they do to a girl? Now where do they live?" Double D then says, "I'm amazed, you'd actually want to help us? In that case they live in the trailer park near the creek... I'm coming with you and so is Ed...you too Eddy!" Edna then says, "Of course I'd help you, we're friends now, also... I'M A ED!"
(At the Park n' Flush trailer park)
As the four Eds inflitrate the trailer park, they were jumped by Lee and Marie Kanker who scream out "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!" and tells the four, "Well look what the cat dragged in... looking for these?" Lee and Marie have four jawbreakers in their arms and the male Eds are shocked to see them. Lee then says, "Now that you fell for our trap now you're ours... but who is that girl with you?" Edna then gulps and says to Double D, "Wow, they are terrifying... but if I back down my older sister, cousin, and you guys will think differently of me..." Edna sees a steel pipe and grabs it and stands infront of the Eds and shouts at the two sisters, "S...S...S...STAY BACK! Just hand over the treats and leave my new friends alone... and no one gets hurt!"
Lee then says, "Aww... that weird "ugly" girl wants to protect our "boyfriends" Well Marie put down the jawbreakers and let's show her we're the toughest in all of Peach Creek!" Marie puts down the jawbreakers and they laugh evily. Edna then whispers to Double D, "Forget about me... grab the Jawbreakers and run!" So Lee and Marie then pounce on Edna while the Eds just grab the jawbreakers. Feeling bad for her, Double D stays behind and couldn't believe what he is seeing...
Edna somehow manages to fight off the two and she dogpiles on Lee and Marie Kanker and Lee says, "I don't get it, how can a "ugly" girl manage to outfight us?" Marie then says, "What are you anyway?" Edna then says, "I AM A ED! Oh and if you hurt my "Nakama" again there will be a repeat performance!" Edna walks away but then she notices May coming out of the trailer after vacuming it and May asks, "Geez guys, what happened to you... did "Big Ed" get another pebble in his shoe?" Lee is so angry from losing that she shouts, "MAY GET BACK IN THE TRAILER AND CLEAN THE STOVE AND AFTER THAT DO MARIE'S HOMEWORK AND CLEAN THE BATHROOM SINK!" May sadly goes back into the trailer. Edna couldn't help but feel so bad for her.
(At Ed's house)
Ed gives everyone a jawbreaker and as Edna sucks on one she feels so sad. Double D then says, "Edna... how did you learn how to fight like that? None of us can last 5 minutes with those two!" Edna then says, "As a nerdy girl, I have to learn how to fight back in self-defence... plus Nazz and my older sister taught me those moves." Eddy then says, "Yep, Glad to have you as one of us Edna, just wait till Nazz hears about this! Umm why are you so sad?"
Edna then says, "Oh it's nothing... nothing you would understand..." Double D then says, "Actually I know what it is... you're homesick right?" Edna then slowly shakes her head and says, "I know, how about we go watch a movie?" Ed then says, "I know one... KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE!" Edna shivers a bit. Eddy then says, "How about...The Dark Knight?" Edna whimpers a bit with a tear falling from her eye. Double D then notices this and says, "How about... GRINDHOUSE! A loving tribute to 70's grindhouse movies and it's a 2 in 1 movie... "PLANET TERROR" and "THUNDERBOL..." I mean "DEATH PROOF!"
Edna happily claps her hands and says, "Yay! I'll go for that!" Eddy then says, "But my big brother just got me "The Dark Knight" as a birthday gift!" Double D then says, "We're watching "Grindhouse" and that's final... plus Edna is a new member of our group and she did save us back there!"
So they watch both movies but Edna cannot stop feeling sorry for May Kanker. Almost as if May needed a friend and Edna should answer that call...
NEXT TIME: Can a Ed befriend a Kanker?