Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna
Gh Gbh GfB Ghi
Chapter 34: The Final Chapter
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy...but "The Fourth Ed" and the Kimono Sisters... and brother is mine! Rachel belongs to Squeaken1 though and Jennifer belongs to yukimizuno... you know the rest for it doesn't matter anymore
This is a spin-off of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy". I always wondered what if Edna existed in the "Ed, Edd, n Eddy" canon and...THIS STORY DOES NOT CONTAIN SUPERNATURAL ELEMENTS!
The fanfic has jumped the shark, so therefore this chapter will be the last one before the reboot... I hope you understand. Also I've been busy with Courage Jr.
If this chapter is nonsense then give me a break for I had a hard time coming up with a conclusion.
Look for a reference to "Time Bandits" in this final chapter.
The Eds are devestated. Edna then says, "I can't believe it, this fanfic is sentanced to be cancelled, I don't know if I can deal with this!" Eddy, "You tell me! Ever since you appeared you actually helped us succeed! Now that the fanfic is going to end, we're going back to being losers... are our readers sadists or something?" Ed replies, "You mean they kill cats and sacrifice them to the dark master of hades?" Double D replies, "No Ed, that's satanist, a sadist is someone who enjoys seeing others suffer as personal entertainment." Edna then says, "Well you just described Kevin, The Killer Sisters, and Internet trolls in 6 letters."
May Kanker then says, "Hello Edna, have you figured out how to end this chapter/story?" Edna replies, "Nope, however we must tie loose ends..."
The Eds and the Kimonos just came from seeing "The Human Spider" and they are horrified. Kasumi Kimono says to Ed, "Oh my, you sure have a weird taste for horror movies Ed." Ed replies, "At least it wasn't about three people being surgically sewed by..." Hikari covers Ed's mouth and she says, "Sorry but nobody wants to hear about a "Human Centipede" Ed!" Kitaro Kimono then says, "How about lunch at "Burgertime?" Then the Eds and Kimonos agree.
And so they got their burgers and the eight see May Kanker and her boyfriend Joe playing a 80's arcade game called "Neon Knome starring THE PROBLEM SOLVERZ" Edna then says, "I see you're spending your last chapter wisely my BFF!" May nods as she puts another quarter in.
Kasumi Kimono and Ed end up going to a store called "Things from another world" and she ends up buying the newest issues of "Tales from the Crypt", "Vault of Horror", "The Haunt of Fear", and "Creepshow". Kasumi then says, "Well I know you very well love, but what is going on?" Ed then says, "Oh this fanfic is going to get cancelled and so we're going to do what we always wanted to do." Kasumi then says, "Did Harold Camping make another prediction?"
Before she can do anything, they sees three very familiar girls, and one of them has a rather beaten up Don Patch in her arms. Ed sees them and shouts, "NO!"
The Killer Sisters sees Ed and Julie pulls out a switchblade and says, "Either you be my boyfriend or I'm going to cut you up!" Lindsay then says, "Or set you on fire! Hee hee hee!" Tara then adds, "They are one of those guys who got us sent to Juvie, let's do it anyway!"
Ed grabs Kasumi and they make a run for it.
Then they run to the Cul-De-Sac as Ed screams out,
"THE KILLERS ARE COMING!
THE KILLERS ARE COMING!
THE KILLERS ARE COMING!
THE KILLERS ARE COMING!"
Soon everyone in the Cul-De-Sac is panicking but then after Edna and May were doing some talking, May then says, "Waitaminute... this is our final chapter right? So if it's our final chapter we can do whatever we want." Lee Kanker then says, "Hey yeah, you're right... OK PEOPLE! PULLOUT WHATEVER YOU HAVE... AND LET THEM HAVE IT!"
As the Killer Sisters see the Kankers waving at them, Julie then says, "There you are... boy are we going to have some fun!" A invisible fairy holding a lit match appears before Lindsay and asks, "Hey Lindsay... are we gonna set them on fire this time?" Lindsay nods.
Lee Kanker then asks, "Before we allow you to beat us up, just answer this question... why do you three hate us so much?"
Julie then replies as she and her sisters pull out switchblades, "Well it happened back in the 50's our grandfather was one tough greaser and he was friends with your grandfather, during one rumble with rival greasers, the cops showed up, apparently Grandpa Kanker was so yellow he left our grandfather behind only to get arrested, aaaaand since then we Killers have a grudge against Kankers and seeing you covered in bruses and cuts is our way of avenging Grandpa Killer.
But then The Killers see Ed, Edd, Eddy n Edna, Kasumi, Hikari, Ryoko, and Kitaro Kimono appearing from the bushes and Edna shouts, "KIDS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC... ATTACK!"
Then Sara, Jimmy, Kevin, Rolf, Nazz, Johnny, Rachel, Jenny, and Joe pull out boards with nails on them and they surround the Killers. The Killers are sweating heavily as Julie says, "Oh no... this isn't happening... this isn't happening..." Lindsay shouts, "IT'S HAPPENING! ALL OF THE KIDS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC ARE GOING TO BEAT THE TAR OUT OF US AND I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH KEROSENE TO SET THEM ALL ON FIRE!"
And with that, Kevin grabs Julie and lets her have it, Rachel then bonks Lindsay and Tara's heads together, and then everyone dogpiles them and pummels them even harder. Soon enough, Mordecai and Rigby from "Regular Show" even join in on the fight, giving the Killers "Punchies". Edna then says to them, "Hey waitaminute, what are you two doing here?" Mordecai then says, "I read this fanfic and even I think they deserve this!" Rigby then adds, "Yeah, "Bully Bashing" is even more fun than "Strong Johns", and "Dig Champs"!" And with that, Mordecai and Rigby both go, "OOOHHH!"
After the beating is over, Marie asks Julie, "How do you like it when it happens to you?" Julie replies, "Not liking it at all..."
But then all of a sudden, and from out of nowhere, a trailer shaped like a whale drives in the middle of the Cul-de-sac. The trailer opens and it's revealed to be EDDY'S OLDER BROTHER!
Everyone is shocked and Eddy then says in horror, "Big bro... what are you doing here?" Eddy's older brother replies, "I'm here for a suprise visit "pipsqueak", and now here's your suprise beating!"
And so Eddy's older brother starts pounding him as he says, "Like old times huh "pipsqueak"... now say uncle!"
Double D, Ed, Edna, Rachel, Jimmy, Johnny, Nazz, Rolf, Joe Jenny, and Sarah, Kevin, the Kankers and the Kimonos are horrified by what they are seeing, Julie sees this happening and says, "Dude, what an "bunghole", at least I treat you three better." Kevin then adds," Yeah, and now I feel like such a "dork" and don't comment on my usage of "dork" again Edna!" Lee foams in the mouth and asks, "What is he doing to Eddy?"
Eddy then whimpers, "Bro, give it up." Eddy's older brother then replies, "Give it up? I thought you wanted to hang with your hero!" Eddy nervously replies, "I do, Bro, I do!" Double D then stands up and says to Eddy's older brother, "Mr. Eddy's Brother! As the older sibling, don't you think you should rather be setting an example for Eddy? And not, um... belittle him... in front of his... friends?
Eddy's older brother then replies, "Belittle? He's always been little! Hey "Pipsqueak, what's the deal with your girlfriend wearing that sock-head?" Double D replies, "Girlfriend?" Ryoko grits her teeth at this. Eddy's older brother then grabs Double D and also pounds him as well, then he grabs Ed as well. Edna then asks, "Isn't anyone going to help the Eds?" Everyone is too terrified to say or do anything. Then Eddy's older brother looks at Edna and says, "Looks like "Pipsqueak" and his friends are too tired, now it's time to play with you!"
The minute Eddy's older brother is about to touch Edna, another girl who looks alot like Edna shows up and delivers a "Megaton Punch" to Eddy's older brother's face which knocks him out, Edna smiles and says, "Emily!"
Emily is dressed like a police officer and says, "Hiya sis! I got a job in the force! And now that I see my ex-boyfriend for the creep he is, I'm taking him in, and I might as well take in those three since not only do they confess in stalking you but they escaped Juvenile Detention before their sentance was finished. So Edna hugs her sister as she arrests the four and takes them away.
Eddy recovers and then says... "I made it all up Ed, Double D, everyone. Everything I said about my brother was a lie. I made things up and acted like him, so everyone would like me. But boy was I wrong, I had no idea that acting like this for so long would cause me such trouble... when am I going to learn?"
Ryoko then smiles at him and says, "You just did Eddy..." as she kisses his forehead. Kevin then says, "Geez, no wonder why he always acted like this... yo... Sorry I always called you a dork n' stuff and... JAWBREAKERS ON ME!"
May then asks Edna, "So... are the loose ends tied up?" Edna replies, "I guess so hey wait NOOOOOooooooooooo!"
And with that, everything turns black and everyone vanishes except for Lee, Marie, May, Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna." Ed then says, "Whoa, it's dark in here!" Marie goes up to Edna and asks, "You're the smart one, what's happening?" Edna then says, "Well we tied up loose ends and so the fanfic is on the verge of it's cancellation, which means everyone we know and love will be no more, the Kimonos and other OCs don't exist anymore, stuff in the last few chapters never happened, it's all over... it also doesn't help that the show ended with "Ed, Edd, n Eddy's Big Picture Show".
May then asks, "Why are you still here Edna, you're a OC!" Edna replies, "I don't know and I hope it has nothing to do with me being a "Mary Sue".
Lee's "beautiful face" morphs back to normal but then she sees a note sticking out of Edna's pocket. She picks it up and she says, "Check this out Edna, it's a note that was written by Judge Emma from the last chapter." Edna reads it and says, "In case you get this letter, there is a way you and your friends can survive the cancellation... REBOOT IT!"
Soon the Kankers smile at this idea and May then says, "Yeah that's right, reboot it! I mean it worked for the Batman movies... can you picture "Joel Schumacher's Batman 5?"
(Edna pictures Jimmy in a Batman costume, complete with nipples on the suit as he goes to a department store and buys a feathered boa with a "Bat-credit card".)
Edna then says to them, "Brr... it's creepy, the way he bought that feathered boa with a... Bat-credit card!" Ed then shouts, "THE BAT-CREDIT CARD? THE BAT-CREDIT CARD! WHO WOULD GIVE BATMAN A BAT-CREDIT CARD!"
May hugs Ed and says, "Calm down Ed, when the franchise was rebooted, it became "Batman Begins" and it was awesome!"
(Edna then pictures Ed as Batman and he beats up Double D dressed as Scarecrow, Eddy dressed as the Joker, and Kevin dressed as Bane.)
Edna pulls out a map of time and space and says, "Well here's us and here's the time portal we enter in order to reboot our world." Double D then asks, "Umm Edna, where did you get that map?"
Before Edna can answer, a giant white head appears behind him as he bellows in a British accent, "R-R-R-R-RETURN THE MAP! R-R-R-R-RETURN WHAT YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM ME!"
May is shocked and shouts, "Oh snap it's the Supreme Being! You stolen his map didn't you!" Edna replies, "Well I have to in order to find the right time portal, run!"
And so the Eds and the Kankers decide to run from the Supreme Being, Edna then says to them, "This is it, we jump in it and everything will be rebooted, started from scratch!" and so she tosses the map back at the giant head as they jump into the time portal.
Edna then says to her friends, "Ok, we'll get this fanfic rebooted to the proper fanfic it's supposed to be, 20% more true to the original series, no OCs, no crossovers, time to get serious, and perhaps if we do a good job, internet trolls and mary sue haters won't get their panties in a bunch... I'm going to miss you guys!"
Edna then hugs the Eds and the Kankers as they eventually fade away... preparing for the reboot... a new beginning!
THE END... ?