Authors Note : Oh my, I'm sorry you guys! I've left everyone hanging for so long now! Yes, I did delete my stories. But for all those who were fans? Don't worry, I'm going to repost them eventually, and they will be better than ever.

This one kind of reminds me of "Under The Weather" but I can assure, its different. Stick with me guys, I think its gonna be a fun ride.

Disclaimer: Maybe one day.


Olivia Benson's Apartment


Olivia just sat there, broken and hurting on her lumpy, uncomfortable couch. Yeah, that would be great for the back pain later on. She wanted to call Elliot but what would he care? He had made it damn clear that their friendship was a little rocky at the moment. He could barely look her in the eyes anymore. Maybe she would call Josh. She'd been seeing him for a few weeks already. He was nice, and sweet, and gentle. Unlike most others in her past. He was smart, a doctor even, he would be the right man to call and talk to about this. But, all she wanted was her best friend.

She picked up her bottle of vodka and unscrewed the cap. She was never really one for drinking, but she thought the news she received today called for it. A quote she had once heard kept replaying in her head.

"The meek get a bad bruise, go to the doctor. The stubborn get a fatal disease, and figure they can sleep it away."

Ah yes. Leave it to Olivia to think that everything was alright. It was totally common to get worn out doing a load of laundry, right? Wrong. She knew that deep down something was wrong. She'd lost some weight, would wake up in the middle of the night with cramps that hurt like nothing she'd ever experience.

Olivia kept replaying over and over in her mind what she had heard at the doctor's office two days ago. Two days ago, it was supposed to just be a check up. Walk in, get the okay. Walk back out and resume your life. That's what happened if you were lucky…and Olivia, well she was never one of the lucky ones. She was almost sure that if you were to take a dictionary and look up the word "Unfortunate" it would say the life of Olivia Benson.

She sat and waited patiently, just as she was told. She wasn't one who liked to make a scene, even if she did despise this place. Hospitals, there for healing. Hell, Olivia hated them. All they did was show a place of pain.

People come in all bruised and damaged, explaining to doctors how they "fell" down the stairs today. And what did doctors do? They looked the other way, no one wants to help and intervene with a messed up young female.

That's exactly what had happened two months ago when she claimed she spilt boiling kitchen water on herself. How does anybody do that? Couldn't anyone see that it wasn't an accident. But no, doctors patch you up, and send you on your merry way.

"Olivia Benson," Olivia stood up and walked towards the nurse that called her name, "they're ready for you, room seven." Olivia walked down and sat in the room. And waited for the doctor.

The doctor did the routine check up shit. Checking the knees for reflexes, hold your arms straight out, touch your toes…two year old stuff. It wasn't until the doctor pressed on her stomach that she realized she had a real problem.

"Ahh," Olivia panted out in between breaths of pain.

"That hurt you?" The doctor asked. Olivia shot her an evil look, "Well, it shouldn't have." The doctor pressed down once again and pain explode across her features. The doctor shot a worried glance and left the room.

Five minutes, and seven deep breaths to relive pain later, the door opened. "We're going to just run a few tests, don't worry about it, its just routine." Olivia scoffed at that. Routine? Her stomach just felt that it was about to explode.

Blood was drawn, urine sample was collected, and Olivia had to go through the sheer embarrassment of being on display for doctors who poked at her for two hours.

Olivia got the phone call today, at work of course. The one place where there was no privacy and no where to have a mental break down. Her cell phone rang, and it turned out to be the doctor. She'd need to come in two days from now, that was the soonest they could fit her in. Olivia felt that she was about to loose it, she had told Fin to cover for her the rest of the day and hightailed it out of there.

Two days ago Olivia's s seemed so little… get up, go to work, come home. It was normal, simple…secure. Olivia laughed as she thought about ways she could loose her life on the job. Shot, stabbed, mutilated? They all seemed real to her then, but now she only thought of the one way she was going to die.

Pancreatic cancer.

The word that would haunt her until the day it would claim her. Why does she care though, its not as if she had anyone there to miss her. A lone tear escaped and Olivia finally put the vodka bottle down and attempted to get some rest.


AU2: Alright, I am aware of the length of the chapter. What can I say, it sucks ass. But this was just kind of the filler chapter. Nothing happened, it was just explaining and setting up for what will happen. I promise guys, its going to get better. Stick with it.


*Next chapter - WAY LONGER. SWEAR. & some angst.

Yanoo, cause that's the fun stuff. Right Mackenzie?