Sorry for the long wait guys! If there are any readers left I apologize. Softball controls my life, and its SPRING BREAK 09! So I've been busy.
Any mistakes are mine, and ya'll know the disclaimer. Thanks for the words of encouragment, and for those who helped with the chapter.
NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED STRONG. I WARNED YA :).
The shock of it hit her, and all she could was stand there, with her hands flat against his chest. Almost as if she were to push him off, but she remained unmoving. His lips were smooth and warm. He kissed her hungrily, his mouth moving over hers, his tongue moving between her lips – she figured she gasped in surprise when she realized what he was doing. He tasted faintly of coffee and she could feel his stubble of his cheeks against her own. He was leaning on her, pinning her securely to the wall so that she was trapped between him and his muscular form. Olivia became conscious to how big he actually was, how muscular, strong. Heat came off him and she could feel the imprints of his body on hers where they touched. She soon realized that he was hard with want.
Suddenly, slowly his hand began to slide down to the curve of her breast. She could feel the strength of his hand and it left her breathless. Her hands curled into his shirt, still not pushing him away. His mouth came off hers, just a bit, enough to get in a breath of air. She looked up at him and noticed he was looking at her as well. His eyes were heavy lidded, gleaming with an intensity she'd never seen. She wondered what he could see in hers. Disbelief? Could he see that the her world as she knew it was about to change? She needed to stop him, this wasn't supposed to happen. Yes, she'd kissed him before, but out of comfort, not for pleasure. Not for need. This was Elliot, her best friend. Not someone she was involved with.
"Kiss me back Olivia," He challenged, his voice a bit shaky, filled with want. He stoked his tongue along her lower lip, placing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Damn it, Olivia. Kiss me." His mouth met hers again. He lifted his head and looked at her as he moved his fingers over her closed top. Her body responding quickly. Her eyes dilated.
"Dilating of the pupils means desire, Olivia. Kiss me back."
Nothing. So, he kissed her again. This time making her weak in the knees and dizzy. Closing her eyes she wrapped her arms around him and let him kiss her, making no move to kiss him back. He moved his kissed from her lips to her neck. The moist pressure of his lips sent a tremor through her body. Then his hand somehow found its way under her shirt. Her heart felt like it would fall out of her chest. It had been so long since she'd been with a man, any man. And now, Elliot was kissing her. His hand tightened on her breast, fitting perfectly into his hand. She wanted more, needed more.
"Once more, kiss me, Liv."
She wanted to, oh did she want to. But she couldn't to many things would be jeopardized, she was sick, her life was a mess. She didn't need to drag anybody into this. It would kill him, and she'd caused him enough pain over the years. She couldn't get too close and then have it all spiraling down when the unthinkable happened. She wasn't stupid, even this early in the game she knew there was a chance she wouldn't make it.
"No." Rejection was the best way to answer. Olivia roughly pushed him away. And she didn't miss the flash of hurt that danced across his face.
"Go take your shower, Olivia."
Well this was going to be just perfect.
Olivia got out of the shower and walked into the living room expecting Elliot to be gone. She was still overwhelmed with what had happened.
"What are you still doing here." She asked him, he was now on the couch.
"Making sure you get your rest." He replied.
"I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter."
"Never said you did." He countered.
A beat passed and an awkwardness that hadn't been there since they were first partners filled the room.
"Look, I'm sorry. I realize that was a mistake, chalk it up to a long couple of days." He said.
She muttered something under her breath and walked into the kitchen, only to return with a glass of water, she sat on the couch by him and leaned her head back. "El, really. You can go home, I'm okay."
She spoke as if what had happened between them hadn't affected her.
"No way in hell. Come on, bed." He told her. She stood up next to him, "I can tell your beat."
He followed her into her bedroom and allowed him to help her in, seeing as the events of the day had left her exhausted. There was a loaded amount of electricity between them but she didn't want to bring it up. So far for the past few weeks Elliot had been staying with her overnight. She depended on him for far to much, the only good time she slept was when Elliot was holding her. Elliot started to walk away but she reached for him,
"Please?" She asked quietly, gesturing towards the bed. He nodded and climbed in next to her. He laid down next to her, surprised when she curled into him. He thought for sure that she would never talk to him again. He knew why he kissed her, but he kicked himself now for the timing. She was already going through something, she didn't need him adding to it. He looked down and saw that she was sleeping. He wrapped his arms around her, knowing in sleep she wouldn't push him away, and closed his eyes.
Elliot woke up sometime in the middle of the night, he looked over and found himself in bed alone. He trained his ear and heard noise coming from the living room. He walked out and found Olivia sitting on the couch, not particularly watching anything, just sitting there.
"Hey," his voice startled her, "Sorry. What are you doing out here?"
"Just thinkin." She responded.
He sat next to her and took the remote, flipped on ESPN. She laughed for the first time in a few days and mumbled, "Your such a guy." They sat in comfortable silence for awhile until he felt a change in her demeanor.
"Whats the matter" Elliot asked looking at her.
"El, I just...I mean I know you said that it was just a long day but...why did you kiss me?"
"Olivia, if you can recall, we have kissed before."
"Yeah, but nothing like that. It was different and you know it. I want to know why, I at least deserve that." Olivia spoke boldly not caring if he thought she was being silly.
"See, the thing is..." He rattled off as he pulled her up off and couch. "Maybe I'm tired of us just being friends."
She just stood there, not wanting to say anything. Her heart was beating wildly, "Your killing me you know." He said
"Too little sleep, or just because I'm a pain?" She asked,
"All of the above, plus – and this being the main reason- I'm crazy about you." Olivia looked down to their now linked hands, and suddenly felt breathless. She hadn't felt like this in so long,
"What are you saying, El?"
"What I'm saying is that I want more, I want to take you out, I want to be the one to help you battle this, I want more. Since I'm being honest let me say this. I want you Olivia, just you, and only you. But theres this problem." He finished
"Whats that?" Timidly she asked.
"You won't even kiss me back," the grip on there hands tightened, and he started to pull away.
She watched him start to move away from her back to the bed, she spoke softly, "We could work on that." A smile graced his face, a smirk hers. He went to lean in to kiss her, warm lips over hers, one hand tangled in her hair, and the other on her back. She closed her eyes and felt his lips press against her begging for entrance, which she was more than willing to give. She felt his tongue slip past her lips, touching the roof of her mouth as he tasted her.
It wasn't a thoughtful joining. Not loving, not tender, but a fierce desire driven by need. His lips claimed hers once again as she wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands pushed up her top and lifted it over her head.
"Yours too." She said and moved her hands to the bottom of his shirt before pulling up. He smirked and with her help they managed to get rid of her shorts, and his pants. His kiss was long, and demanding. And in that moment she didn't think about right or wrong, she didn't think of the doubt that still sat in her mind. She only wanted him. And she wanted him now.
His kissed moved from her lips, to her cheeks, and down to the hollow of her neck. Within herself she ached, and desire rushed through her. She let out a low moan as his hands trailed down her ribs. He was stretched out over her now, his body pressed against hers. She could feel him hard and thick. She moved her own hands now down to the waistband of his shorts. Hers had already been removed, but she couldn't tell you how or when.
He stiffened and swore and his eyes slammed shut. His hands coming to grip her wrists, "Liv," his voice was rough, "You sure you want to do this. I mean I know you're in the middle of fighting this whole cancer thing, and I don't want to make it any harder..." He stopped when he saw her smile, "Let me rephrase...any tougher for you."
She smiled, her was always thinking of her, "Is that what I'm in the middle of? Because I swore I was in bed, in the middle of making love to you. Was I wrong?"
"I'm trying to do the right thing here Liv." He ground out.
"Noted, and for the record you started it." She grinned.
"If this is what you want, this is what your going to get." And with that he let go of her wrists, and laid her flat on her back. He whispered her name and pulled her to him, kissed her hard and thrust into her.
She was almost certain that she died and went to heaven. Surely, nothing would ever be the same again. This moment, there was no sickness, there was no underlaying cause to anything. It was just him and her, as one. Finally.
"I've been waiting to hear that Liv," He said after they were done, his body wrapped around hers softly.
"My name and God's all in one sentence." He said
She chuckled, "How can you joke right now?"
"I'm not." He replied mock serious.
"From God to ass all within ten minutes, low blow there Liv." He nuzzled her neck and she sighed happily. This was what she wanted, sick or not. She knew from this point on he'd always be there, and she wasn't going to start doubting that. At least not now. She turned into his embraced and welcomed sleep.
Let the morning bring what it would.
Okay guys, review? Let me know if I should go on, or if the story is losing interest? Thanks.
Oh, by the way...somewhere in this chapter I used an idea from a book. So credit goes to that author, anyone think they know which author?