Omake part 2
This little side story has been made thanks to the effort and work of sithmaster56a and DarkShadowRaven. The characters belong to their respective creators known as DC comics. This is just a fan story for the fans.
Also this story has no relation to the main story. Please keep that in mind.
This is one messed up universe
Naruto stumbled into his bedroom and began searching through the room for the suit, while completely neglecting to look at the bed or at the hook on the back of the door where the suit was hanging.
"Where is it?!" muttered to himself as he desperately searched through his draws and wardrobe wondering if in his earlier rush that day he had forgotten to get it from the cleaners. "oh boy… she's going to kill me." He whined.
He despaired for another 2 minutes while still ignoring the target of his search hanging on the door. He began to panic and was about to start sweating when the suit was pushed into his arms.
"Stop panicking and get undressed!" A woman, with a rather demanding tone ordered him.
He stared at her with bewilderment. Who was this woman? She was dressed and a coat with long straight hair that covered most of her face.
"Naruto!? Is everything alright in there?" called Sam from the hall.
"Uh- Fine, fine, just getting dressed."
"I thought I heard a woman's voice in there!" said Sam with a hint of curiosity.
Naruto gave the other occupant a suspicious look, the woman gave him what he assumed was a smile and brought her gloved finger to her lips, signaling discretion.
"Nope, no one here… it must have been the neighbors." He said back never letting his eyes wonder off the person.
"She sounds nosy. Better hurry up, you wouldn't want her to walk in to check, would you?" she asked teasingly.
He stared at the suit with a look of relief before turning a judging eye on the other occupant. "You gonna just stand there and stare?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What are you? A kid? Just get on with it!" she was really pushy as she leaned on the door
'Bossy woman.' He sighed as he took off his pants and shirt and got facts rose to the surface of his brain, as he felt himself comply:
1. The suit had been hanging on his door the whole time, why did he not look?
2. He needed to hurry Sam was not going to wait patiently forever. And he didn't want to have a noisy night after everything else he's been through.
3. A woman had ordered him to get changed/undress. That was a new one…
4. There was a woman in his room… there was a woman in his room. For some reason he started feeling… self-conscious.
"You're awful with ties aren't you? Here, let me help." the woman lamented as she helped him sort out his tie."There we go…" She finished before giving him a smile. "And… you have no pants."
He realized that he was in his boxers, the suits shirt and his socks and that his hair had been combed back a little.
"eh?" was the confused response he gave her, as he was guided by this woman.
"Your really spacing out aren't you?" the woman continued regaining his attention and giving his tie a sharp tug pulling his face into her teasingly familiar face.
"Cheet-!" he sputtered before she pulled him into a kiss.
After a minute of dominating his mouth she released him and pressed his trousers into his hands.
"That was a sorry for using a little too much toxin on you this time." she said shyly stepping back from him and started looking at his things.
"and the window?" Naruto grumbled as he got one leg in his trousers and struggled to get in it properly as he tried to split his attention on both his trousers and Cheetah.
"hmm...nope." she said over her shoulder with a mischievous look in her eyes and throwing her hat at him.
"Have you been sniffing cat nip again?" he asked with suspicious look.
"Ha, ha. I'm glad to see you alter ego is not much different from your real ego." She said simply checking his place out and dropping her long coat. "Nice place you have here."
"Yes and I'll thank you to forget about all of it." he growled at put the finishing touches on his suit.
She turned sharply on him and crossed the room in a couple of steps, before trying to grab his tie again, only for him to step around her causing her to stumble, but she quickly regained her balance.
"Why the hell would I do that?" she growled at him extending her claws.
Tension filled the air as Naruto assumed a fighting stance.
"Naruto what's going on in there?" Sam called through the door.
The room's occupants stared at each other for a moment.
"...I'm on the phone, it's on loud speaker." he called now gesturing franticly to a grinning cheetah to leave.
"Naruto! We're wasting time here, we need to go. It can't be that important." Sam called back through the door.
"Its uh-, my, my girlfriend, Sam! I have to take this call." He returned after a little hesitation.
"A-alright but wrap it up quick we need to get there fast." Sam said with a little pause.
'He never mentioned being in a relationship before.' She thought with a touch of melancholy for some reason.
Naruto turned back to Cheetah who was now rolling around in his bed, she seemed quite happy about it. "What do you think you're doing?! Get off my bed!" he commanded while trying to keep his voice low, making him seem only more funny.
"Make me…" she said getting comfortable.
"You... !" He stopped himself from blowing his top. 'I'm kinda expecting her to yawn and then curl up and go to sleep.'Naruto thought and then noticed that she was grinning at him again as she started to worm her way under his bed sheets. 'cats.'
"That or whatever you're planning is not going to work." Naruto stated firmly crossing his arms over his chest.
"Huh?...oh you think I'm trying to get you to go at it with me right now, don't you?" she laughed covering her mouth with her hand. "That would be nice. But what I'm doing is leaving evidence that I've been here." she finished looking very much like the cat with the canary.
Naruto stood there a few moments longer before it sunk in. "Y-you're going to blackmail me?"
"Yep, so either tell the bitch out there to go away or I'll leave a anonymous tip to the blue boys that Cheetah's safe house and her accomplice are here." she said delivering her ultimatum, sitting up from under the covers.
'I'm dead either way. Sam will crush my balls and then have people going through every tiny aspect of my life to try and find my 'girlfriend', and it won't take them long to discover that I don't really exist. Damn.'
"And what's with that alchemy stuff you've got in that secret hatch behind the fridge?" she asked curiously.
"Don't change the subject so fast, damn it!" he snapped quickly before returning to his thoughts.
'On the left we have the police coming and taking me away, searching my place, finding magical ingredients, pictures of people that don't exist and weapons. Then the league finding out about that stuff and Cheetah being here and i'll be on the run or in a cell next to Luthor...or worse that creepy clown guy...though that giant gorilla guy might be a nice cell-mate or neighbor. Though the hair… or is it fur-…'
'OR. You could drag Sam in here and have a little party time!'
'Well then make a clone to take care of Sam while you take care of Cheetah.'
'Okay you're not far off with that, but I'm altering your plan for reality's sake and my own.'
'You really are boring...your mum had more attitude than you...and Mito was quite the beast... It seems male Uzumakis are the more innocent ones…' the fox sighed like an old man.
Naruto had already started to ignore him. That's how it was with Kurama when he was bored.
"Where did you get this book?" Cheetah stood there holding a copy of one of the icha icha books, she couldn't read it though.
"My godfather wrote it and I think he hid a few dozen in my stuff." he mentioned quickly jumping across the room and snatching it from her before finding somewhere to put it.
She looked at him oddly. "You embarrassed by it or something?"
"Or something." he chuckled nervously finally putting it away before dusting himself off and straightening himself out. "I'm going to leave a clone with you and go out with my employer before she charges in here forcing me to knock her out and mind wipe her or something. Ok?"
"I do know someone who can do the mind wiping." she offered cattily, staring at her claws.
Naruto sighed and created a kage bushin which sat down on his bed. The original was prepared to walk out of the room before he paused. "And if I find a single hair on that bed, I'm shaving you bald…"
"Then I hope we have time for some foreplay." She smirked back at him.
'I must have gotten some cat nip on me…' he thought to himself leaving the room.
As he looked around for Sam he spotted her in his kitchen, he walked in and found her on her hands and knees trying to look behind his fridge.
There was a moment of indecision on his part as he stared at her rear moving about but it ended when Kurama made his opinion known.
'Nice junk in the trunk.'
He coughed instead quite enjoying the way he was frustrating his 'inner demon'.
Sam froze then looked over her shoulder.
"Dropped a ring?" he asked cheekily getting a growl from her as she stood up.
"I thought I saw a bug" she returned rather innocently.
"Hm… first time I see a lady trying to find a bug…" he returned with a smirk catching the cat in the bag.
She started dusting herself off and when she leaned over to dust off her lower dress she ended to her immediate knowledge and to her embarrassment that she had just let Naruto see right down her top.
Her eyes snapped up to his, he was wearing a look that seemed to be poker face but the corners of his lips were creeping up.
She straighten up. "I dropped my pen and-"
"Really?" Naruto commented enjoying having caught her out. "Did the bug take it?"
"YES." she yelled, before a taking a breath. "Let's just go. We might be a little late cause of your girlfriend. What's her name by the way?"
"Diana Hal." Naruto supplied carefully as they left his apartment.
"That sounds made up." commented Sam sharply.
"Well that's the name she gave me...I'm not too sure it's her real name either, she...she's rather secretive." Naruto mentioned trying to convince her. "I'm actually really worried that for her I might be 'the other man'." he whispered carefully, seeing Sam's eyes go wide, he nodded grimacing.
'Or the non-existent man…'
"You should be careful about women like that. They are real troublemakers. They'll string you and half a dozen others along, bleed you dry and then dump you somewhere on an empty street." she said venomously.
He gave her a curious look. "It's sounds like you know about these things pretty well."
"I've been around." she stated.
"Err...okay. Could you let me go now?" he asked nervously, during her little speech she had grabbed him by his ear and pulled him down to her level.
"oh sorry. Lets go. No more talking till we get there." Sam said assertively and pulled Naruto along by his ear instead of letting him go.
"Oi, oi, ear please!"
"Wow she's nosy." cheetah said to the clone. "And who this Diana Hal woman?"
"She's nobody. Now, what are you doing here?" asked the clone.
"What, can't a girl stop by every now and then?" she asked back innocently.
"Sure, but you're criminal tendencies don't make you that kind of person. Now who are you in trouble with?" Naruto asked walking into the kitchen to get something to drink only to reconsider. "Do you want some ramen?"
"That cheap noodle stuff?" cheetah questioned winkling her nose.
"Hey that's great 'noodle stuff', do you want some, yes or no?" he answered from the kitchen putting a cup in the microwave.
"Yeah sure." cheetah said relaxing in on the sofa and turning on the TV. "You really need to buy some real food. I was a scientist and the saying 'you are what you eat' has some truth to it." She said switching some channels.
"If it were so easy we'd all be having banquettes." he called from the kitchen. "So, who did you piss off?" he asked.
"Who's Diana Hal?" cheetah tried again, crossing her arms and glaring at the television, not pleased with the channel.
"Like I said nobody, so drop it!" Naruto called again. "Start talking."
"Well the job was from the usual shady type person, who had some shinny toys, one of which was a transport ship to get me to the drop off point after the job was done."
"So? Was it a setup?" Naruto asked as he came over with the ramen bowls on two trays.
"No. Batman had arrested the guy already. But it gets worse I found out that the stuff I stole was from a black project." she continued staring gloomily into her bowl.
"'black project'?" Naruto asked confused as he paused from slurping up his bowl.
"oh...black projects are secret, illegal, usually specific 'private clients' that need something special. I worked on a couple in my past but they were small time you know just 'can you make a new leg for my dog?', It's basically special projects that shouldn't legally be explored."
"Ahh I think I get you. Stuff like special weapons, giant leasers and doomsday devices you see on television in cartoons." Naruto told her.
"… yeah, something like that." Cheetah said leaning on the ninja.
Naruto let her lean on him as he finished his bowl. "So what's the problem? Bad guy caught, crisis averted."
"Doubtful, the guy was probably a front man for a much bigger financial banker. I think it's LexCorp or one of those big private corporations." she sighed.
"But Luthors on ice." he said letting her head rest on his lap.
"Yeah, but he's been there before. There's no reason to think that just because he's having trouble with the law, that his projects or the men he's financing have stopped receiving funds or stopped their research." cheetah said yawning and closed her eyes.
"And what do you want me to do about it?" he asked moving his hand on the top of her head petting her like a cat. 'She is like a cat…'
"(Purr) I like your touch." She said with a smirk. "'What do I want you to do?'I'd like you to do your job, you dummy! This group is not even supposed to exist, just find them, get the evidence, cut me out of it, and set the cops on them." She softly demanded.
"And what can she do for you?" asked Kurama helpfully.
"And what can you help me with?" asked Naruto.
"I already told you. Just help me and I'll pretend this meeting never happened." She said opening her eyes to stare into his.
"No you won't, that was just an empty threat to get my attention. I could clear this place in a few minutes and by the time the cops get here I'll be long gone and on your tail to play skin the cat…" he countered with smirk.
She looked into his eyes to see if he was lying. It turned out that he wasn't.
"What do you want, then?" she asked, her eyebrow rose.
'She knows about the magic stuff.'Kurama helpfully reminded him.
"What do you know about magic?" Naruto asked still in same tone of voice.
"Quite a bit!" cheetah said back at him with interest.
'Will you help me transfer a being of energy into a homunculus body using a mix of alchemy and magic?'Kurama asked trying to capitalise on his previous success.
"I need some spell to make a body using alchemy and magic. Do you know anything like this?" Naruto repeated perfectly in a slightly calmer tone of voice.
"I, personally don't. But I do know a few people that might." She said. "Why do you want it?"
"Let's just say, I need it for an old friend." He answered.
"yeah I'll help but you better explain this properly before we start, and I'll need a favour." She returned.
'done. Promise her.'
"Deal and I promise to help you...argh!" he cried grabbing his head. 'you tricked me!'Naruto accused Kurama.
'I feel I didn't have to try.'Kurama commented.
"Internal dispute?" cheetah teased, looking slight concerned all the same. "And you should probably introduce yourself properly."
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki." He smiled holding out his hand to seal the deal.
With the real Naruto...
The event Sam had mentioned happened to be a charity event, made by some guy named Kain… or was it Wayne? Anyway, here they were in a room full of people who found it amusing to talk only about business and money. Oh yeah, this is going to be interesting.
"This is more dull then a metal ball." He whispered to Sam keeping a straight face. They were having a simple slow dance to get the blood circulating through his legs again.
"Now you know why I asked you to come." She whispered back.
"Why? To justify why you never take me anywhere?" he asked with a fake smile on his face.
"AND because none of these snobs have the balls to trigger a fire." She said with a grin building up.
"Really, Sam? I thought you likes these parties." He offered with a questioning look.
She gave him a look of weariness. "This is not worthy of the term 'party' this borderlines the term 'social gathering'. No offense to anyone here, but I like more party with my parties." She said.
"Touché boss lady." Commented the blond. "How long do we have to wait this out? My suit feels like it's trying to suffocate me."
She peaked at her watch. "I suppose that's enough. But before we go, I promised an old friend I'd catch up with her."
"Yes she said she'd be he-. Ah there she is!" she pointed at someone in the crowd. "Louie! Louie! Over here!"
Out of the crowd a lovely young woman in a long black gown appeared, she had long black hair, flawless skin and very lovely features.
They greeted each other in a big hug and kissed each other on the cheeks.
"It's been so long. Look at you!" Said Sam with amazement.
"'Look at me?' How about you?! Where is that foxy vixen that I knew in High school?"
"She's still inside, just waiting to be let loose! What about you? Where is that relentless, nosy reporter that used to sneak into the principal's office because she thought he was having an affair with the cleaning lady?" She asked with a laugh.
"Still in detention. Hahahah" They laughed like old friends meeting after years.
Naruto made the first true smile that evening.
Sam's friend seemed to have noticed his presence. Sam realized this too.
"Oh sorry about that, I just got caught in the moment. " She look grabbed Naruto's shoulder and presented him.
"This is my 'lovely' date for this evening, Naruto Uzumaki." She presented with a smirk.
Both parties laughed at the 'lovely' part and Naruto extended a hand to greet. "Naruto Uzumaki, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too."She grasped his hand and gave it a soft shake " Now if only I could find my… oh! There he is."
She ran off for a minute and returned a few seconds later.
"I told you not to run off too far!" she scolded him.
Naruto gave the character a questioning look; he was in a dark blue suit with a white shirt with a tie with straps and glasses on his face. He was tall and looked out of place.
With each step something seemed to be building up inside him, until recognition came.
"Now, as I was saying." She started. "My name is Lois Lane and this is my date, Clark Kent."
"Clark, this is ah, Nathan."
The ninja stepped in front. "It's 'Naruto'." He extended his hand both their eyes locking on sight. "It's nice to meet you, Mister Kent. You're looking super today."