Majin Hentai X bringing you chapter one of my new fic I own no copy written or trademarked materials
normal speech "Is life so cruel to take my sight"
Thoughts 'On the day of the naked supermodel parade.'
greater being / Writing " Oh hell yeah so says I Murphy"
Techniques "Uchiha style eye theft no jutsu"
Chapter one: What Do You Mean Game Over
Naruto's breathing was heavy, labored, stifled. He inhaled deeply before looking at the fallen form of Uchiha Sasuke. "I win… teme. Sakura-Chan. wants you back." He stumbled to his prone body…
SHINK! Naruto screamed in agonizing pain as he fell to the ground, tendons in his legs slashed. Kabuto held up his bloody scalpels, glasses shining eerily.
"How did you like that… Naruto-kun?" he grinned. Naruto's eyes flashed red, demonic chakra boiling through his body as the tendons connected back together with a horrible SNAP! Kabuto grinned.
"Ah, ah, ah. No recovery for you, Naruto-kun. Gogyo Fuin!" The traitorous medic-nin slammed his hand on top of the seal, blocking the restorative effects of the Kyuubi. Naruto felt the fox scream as it's consciousness faded. Kabuto walked slowly over to Sasuke's prone body, waving a glowing green hand over the wounds. Once all the patchwork was done, he placed a soldier pill in his mouth, then stroked his throat in order to force-feed him. Sasuke's eyes shot open with a start, looking around wildly. Kabuto smirked pushing up his glasses.
"Orochimaru would not be pleased if you had failed in your escape. He sent me as reinforcements, if you will." He looped the Uchiha's arm around his shoulders, gesturing at Naruto's crippled form. "Do you seek power Sasuke?"
"More than anything…" Sasuke gasped. Kabuto handed him a kunai with an exploding tag.
"Then finish the job." Kabuto helped the stumbling Uchiha over to Naruto's body. The last Uchiha grinned a tired, maniacal grin as he jammed the kunai deep into the fellow ninja's chest. he lit the exploding tag.
"Don't worry, Naruto. Your death will further my revenge!" the Uchiha crowed as the two stumbled away towards Otogakure and Orochimaru.
Naruto's thoughts were sluggish. His mind was clouded. The only thing he could truly focus on was the deep and agonizing pain in his chest. 'No… I can't… I can't die here… I…' the fuse reached the very end of the tag. "Sorry… Sakura-Chan…" he whispered.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! The explosion was visible all the way from Konoha. Kakashi looked up at the ball of fire and felt a lead stone drop into his stomach.
"Oh, god… oh, god no…" he whispered, horrified. His pace increased tenfold as he sprinted with all his might towards the cloud. "Please… please let me be on time… just once, let me be on time…" with a flying leap, Kakashi landed in the valley of the end next to a burnt corpse. He looked at it with horrified eyes as he saw what remained of an orange jumpsuit. He sank to his knees. "No… oh, god… not again… sensei… Obito, Rin… I lost another… why… I could have helped…" he closed his eye, tears leaking out as his brain second-guessed itself. 'I could have done something… I could have trained him… I could have given him a better home… I could have ignored Sasuke…' this train of thought continued on as the Jounin picked up the charred corpse, and began the slow, miserable walk back to Konoha.
Naruto reformed in a bright flash of light in darkness, eyes still dazzled by the split second of orange fireball he had seen before his death. He looked around. "Where am I? am I dead?" he shook his head. "Nah, I'm not dead. This doesn't look anything like heaven. There are waterfalls, all-you-can-eat ramen buffets, and hot, scantily-clad girls in heaven. So, where the hell am I?" suddenly, big, bold blue letters appeared floating in the air. If Naruto had any eyes, they would have blinked in surprise. "What the…?"
Game Over! You Lose! The words spelled out. Naruto stared.
"Huh?" a strange sound greeted his ears as a picture of a chibi version of him slurping up ramen appeared as small sentences scrolled down from the 'top', wherever that was. The sentences moved fast, and Naruto was hard-pressed to read them all.
Age: fourteen; 140 points
Henge: 10 points (bonus 10 points for improved variation)
Kawarimi: 10 points
Tree-walking: 10 points
Water-walking: 10 points
Kage Bunshin: 50 points
Defeated Haku: 50 points
Defeated Kiba: 50 points
Learned: Rasengan: 100 points
Acquired toad summons: 100 points
Defeated Neji: 50 points
Defeated Sabaku no Gaara: 150 points
Defeated Kabuto (1): 100 points
Earned precious person: Tsunade: 100 points
Evaded Akatsuki (1): 10 points
Subtotal: 950 points
Used Kyuubi chakra (5): -50 points
Ignored Hinata: -20 points
Lost precious person: Haku: -25 points
Needlessly antagonized Konoha citizens (195): -195 points
Failed preventing Orochimaru's cursed seal: -110 points
Lost precious person: Sandaime: -100 points
Failed preventing Sasuke defecting: -50 points
Failed to recapture Sasuke: -100 points
Killed by Sasuke: -100 points
Died in battle: -200 points
Died a virgin: -1000 points
Broke nindo (2): -1000 points
Subtotal: -2950 points
Final total: -2000 points. Rating: Loser! You suck!
Karma: positive: inspiring martyr
Negative score! Unlocked Dobe Naruto!
Gaara defeated! Unlocked evil Naruto!
Academy failed three times! Iruka befriended! Unlocked Naruto-sensei!
Oroike jutsu created! Unlocked Naruko!
Inspiring martyr karma! Unlocked Inari Naruto!
"…I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is hell." Naruto said in a deadpan voice as he stared at the 'screen' of stats, for that was what it was. "So, hell is where your life is treated like a video game? That's not so terrible, I guess…" he muttered. He was silent for a bit before exploding.
"GOD MOTHERFUCKING DAMMIT! HOW THE HELL DID I END UP IN HELL! I PUT UP WITH THOSE SORRY SONUVABITCHES FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, I'VE NEVER RETALIATED ONCE, I'VE BEEN THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING EPITOME OF FUCKING KINDNESS, AND I END UP IN FUCKING HELL! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU Kami!" He ranted. He never noticed until he was out of breath and panting, that the screen of stats had changed into something different. Floating in front of him were two giant blocks, one with YES stamped on it and one with NO. Between them was one ominous word.
Continue? Naruto scratched his head.
Is… is this, my reincarnation or something? Err, well… I thought this was a given." He reached out and pushed the block with YES on it. A chime rang out of nowhere, and Naruto jumped in shock. "What!"
The screen melted away, and four new blocks formed in the air. Naruto scratched his head. "Man, this is starting to look more like a video game every second… wish I had enough money to buy one… maybe I'd know what to do if I did…" he squinted at the four blocks.
"Hmmm…" Naruto stroked his chin. "Uh, what did the other kids do…? Load game?" he tapped that block. A loud buzzer sounded, and Naruto leaped a good foot in the air.
ERROR! NO SAVED GAME DATA! Scrolled the screen, Naruto growled in annoyance.
"Damn… there goes that idea…" he tapped his chin. "Well, since I have no idea what the hell's going on…" he tapped the block reading OPTIONS. The screen melted away to new blocks. He tapped one reading HELP. "That looks like a good place to start…" A number of blocks with various topic written on them appeared in front of Naruto. He tapped on the oner makred 'save game'.
To save your game, must first find a save point. These save points are scattered all around the world, and often very well-hidden. When you save your game, you will be given the option to restart from that point in your game when you die. Naruto scratched his head.
"It's starting to sound like my entire LIFE is a video game, and not just my death… man, that's something that'll screw with your head. Your entire life is a video game." He shuddered. "Better not tell anybody that, or they'll lock me up forever. I'll just have too keep this to myself. He pushed the block reading BACK, and Naruto was back at what he was starting to call 'main screen'. He tapped the first block. The screen melted, and a chibi version of him as a baby, sucking his thumb appeared on the side. Naruto blinked.
"Wow. That's… I don't even know what to say to that." He looked back up at the screen, where there were three blocks.
SAVE FILE 1
SAVE FILE 2
SAVE FILE 3
"Eh. I don't really care anymore." He tapped the first block. The screen melted yet again, and a door appeared in front of him, he blinked. "Cool." He opened up the door, and stepped into the next room. "Whoa… cool."
The entire room was filled with statues of himself, he grinned. "This is worse than Gai's glorified masturbation with Lee." He peered around, and noticed something. Almost, if not all of the statues were a pale, lifeless color, and chained to the ground. "Okay… I guess this is one of the video game's things…" he strolled past them, reading the name plaques on a few. "Demon Naruto, Puppet Master Naruto, Naruto the third, Uchiha Naruto…" he snorted. "Become one of those stuck-up pricks? Snowball's chance in hell of that happening. Senju Naruto, Hyuuga Naruto, Naruko…" he stopped in his tracks and backpedaled to the previous statue. "Naruko!" he looked up at the statue. There, on the statue, was his Oroike jutsu form, plus clothing. Only, instead of being like all the other statues, this one was a vibrant color, had light shining down from the ceiling on it, and was moving. He blinked. Yes, the statue was walking in place. "The hell…?" he tapped the statue, only for his hand to pass straight through it. "Wha!" Naruto fell flat on his ass as the statue of the girl disappeared, and was replaced by stats.
Chakra: very high
Control: very high
Description: as the only daughter of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato-
"Is that my mother's name? And my father… where have I heard that name before…" Naruto said, in the middle of reading. He smiled a slow smile. "Uzumaki Kushina… my mother…" he looked back up and continued to read.
As the only daughter of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato, Naruko was the only child recently born when the Kyuubi attacked. As a result, her father used her as the target of the forbidden technique, Shiki Fuin. The technique stole his life and soul, in exchange for placing the demon fox in his daughter. Naruto scratched his head.
"Wait, what? I thought the Yondaime did that… is there a different sealing person with this character?" He shrugged. "Ah, well. I'm not gonna pick that anyway. It'd feel weird to not have my junk." He looked back up.
Naruko is an Avatar more suited to complex and powerful jutsus than physical fighting. As a girl, she is frailer than most other avatars. Requirements: create the Oroike jutsu. Unlocked! Use this Avatar? Naruto looked at the statue and the block with the word YES at the bottom, before looking at the rest of the statues.
"So, these things are called avatars? Okay… I have a name for them now." He looked again at the bottom, noting the 'requirements'. "Yeah… I do remember seeing something like that on the stat screen. So, the ones that are alive-looking are unlocked?" he looked around. "Then that means that the ones that aren't moving and are chained and stuff are locked… cool." He continued on from the girl form, and towards another pillar of light in the room. On the way, he stopped and looked at one of the 'locked' statues. "Rinnegan Naruto?" One look at the body had him grinning. "Oh, hells yes! I am SO unlocking this! This thing is bad ass!" he tapped the statue of him with circles surrounding his pupils, wrists covered in spikes and dark flaming overcoat.
Chakra: impossibly high
Control: very high
Description: as his father, Namikaze Minato sacrificed his life to contain the Kyuubi, the Shinigami, recognizing the boy as the child of prophecy, granted him the gift of the Rinnegan, the doujutsu of the gods. Rinnegan Naruto is a child prodigy, excelling at everything he does, mastering Justus in weeks what took other men years. This Avatar is very jaded, and does not easily make friends.
Requirements: defeat the criminal group 'Akatsuki'. Naruto's grin slipped.
"Aw, crap. I gotta beat all of 'em? And Orochimaru was one of them? Shit, not getting THAT one in a long time. But I am SO going after that!" he grinned again and continued to walk. He next one brought a smile to his face. "Standard Naruto…" he grinned up at the moving statue of himself.
Hovering just below average in everything but Chakra control, which is low indeed, and Chakra reserves, which are phenomenal, Basic Naruto has a lot of his work in his future if he wants to become Hokage. Hint: try focusing on raising chakra control to start, as it pays off with big benefits if you improve it fast enough.
Naruto grinned. "Why mess with what works? Besides, this is the best way to figure out what the hell's going on." He tapped the block beneath the statue, confirming that yes, he would use this as his Avatar. The statue disappeared in a ball of light, and Naruto was sucked into it. "Whoaaaa!" the ball disappeared, and the Hall of Avatars was quiet once more.
He thumped into a big blue box. "Ow! That hurt!" he rubbed his head, gaining a large lump already as he looked around. "What the hell…?" he looked down and flinched. "WHAAAA! WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS!" his feet had no hold on the ground, and he was hovering over what looked like the Hokage monument. He waved his arms around wildly, before he noticed that his arms were see-through. "WHAAA!" he looked down. "I'm see-through! AHHHH!" he ran around in circles for a few minutes, before realizing that he still had no idea what the big blue box he had ran into was. He 'walked' over to it and poked it. It exploded outwards, and a single sentence with two boxes flew out of it.
Equip special items/jutsus? YES/NO. Naruto scratched his head.
"Err… I have no idea what they're talking about, so I'll pass." He pressed NO and the box disappeared. He jerked forward as he flew through the air. He stared at his hands as they shrank smaller and smaller, becoming chubbier and chubbier. "WHAAAA!" Naruto screamed, before realizing he had just cried like a baby. He looked down, and saw that his features were getting continually smaller and more baby-like. He shot through a wall, before jerking to a stop, in front of a screaming red-haired woman, obviously pregnant, and two men in front of her. Naruto realized, with a start, that he was watching his own birth. The man who looked like a doctor had his hand near her unmentionables while the blond-haired man next to her talked to her.
"C'mon, Kushina, breathe! C'mon, baby, breathe! You're fine!" the woman looked at the doctor. "Kushina, look at me. Don't look at the doctor, look at me. c'mon, Kushina, you can do this." With a final scream, the woman who was obviously his mother pushed out a small, squealing infant. Naruto felt a tug on his navel as he was sucked into his baby body. "Yipe!" was his final word before he was sucked into the body.
The very first thing that he noticed was that it was FRICKIN' COLD! Naruto screeched involuntarily at leaving the warm place as he was slapped once on the butt by the doctor, dangling from a leg as he was handed to the blond-haired man, who he assumed was his father, Namikaze Minato. The man grinned like a lunatic as he held his child.
"Look, Kushina! Look! Isn't he beautiful? Isn't Naruto the most beautiful boy ever?" he looked over at his (Naruto assumed) wife with happy eyes. Naruto watched as those happy eyes turned horrified as his wife was not moving. "Kushina…? KUSHINA? KUSHINA!" Naruto was almost dropped on the bed as Minato flung himself at the woman, shaking her arms. "C'mon, Kushina, wake up! Wake up! You've gotta see the most beautiful boy in the world! Ours! Come on, wake up!" the doctor put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Minato-sama. She's gone." The man whirled around, fire in his eyes.
"NO! she's not gone! You're a doctor, do something!" the doctor shook his head.
"There is nothing I can do. Her heart gave out on her as soon as the baby was out. I'm sorry for your loss, Yondaime-sama." Naruto choked on his spit as the doctor finished his sentence.
"YONDAIME!" Naruto screamed, although it came out as baby gibberish. "MY FATHER IS THE FUCKIN' YONDAIME!" the Yondaime shuffled over to Naruto, bawling senselessly as he held his baby close to his arms.
"You're all I have left of her… don't leave, Naruto…" Naruto awkwardly patted him on the hand with his baby hands as the Hokage cried his heart out. The Sandaime burst into the room.
"Minato! Get your ass out here! The Kyuubi's almost here! We've got to get a child ready for the sealing!" The Yondaime sniffed a bit, before his eyes hardened and he stood, Naruto still in his arms.
"Why should I ask a parent to do what I myself cannot do? I'll be there shortly." Sarutobi stared at the child in his arms, and the close resemblance of the two. The Sandaime gaped.
"You…? you have a SON? Since WHEN!" Sarutobi floundered.
"Since just now." Minato smiled.
"Who… who's the mother?" Minato's smile slipped at his predecessor's question.
"Kushina." Minato said in a voice dripping with sorrow.
"Kushina? Wow. I knew you two were dating, but… a son? What's his name?" Sarutobi sputtered his composure destroyed by the surprise and the rampaging Biju waiting outside.
"Naruto." Minato said with pride.
Sarutobi palmed his forehead. "Jiraiya's first book… I should have known." He grinned a tired grin. "Well, shall we be on our way?" the two shunshined out of the hospital room, with a third bundle with them.
The two reappeared and ducked just in time to dodge a flying tree. Minato handed his predecessor Naruto before doing five seals.
"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" a huge cloud of smoke appeared, and Gamabunta was standing in the clearing. The toad boss looked around.
"Man, this is one helluva fight going on. What is it this time?"
"The Kyuubi." The Yondaime said. Gamabunta took on a sad appearance.
"Then, this is goodbye?" The Yondaime nodded.
"This is our last battle, Gamabunta. This is goodbye." He took the bundle from Sarutobi. "Tell Ero-sensei to watch over Naruto. if he doesn't, I'll hunt him down and skin him like a fish when he dies for not taking care of his godson." Naruto's eyes widened yet again as the Yondaime leaped up to the top of the toad's head. He grinned a feral grin. "C'mon, Kyuubi! Hit me with your best shot!"
"Well. That was a hell of a lot to take in." Naruto said to himself in his baby gibberish as he lay in the cradle, being rocked by the Sandaime in his office. "Ero-senin is my godfather. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. And my father…" he glared up at the Sandaime. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY FATHER WAS THE FREAKIN' YONDAIME!" he leaned back in the cradle, mumbling to himself. "It's not like I'd scream it from the rooftops, or something… wait. Come to think of it, I probably WOULD have screamed it from the rooftops. Never mind!"
Sarutobi chuckled."You've got your mother's temper, Naruto. I still can't believe it… when the hell did they get married? And if I didn't know, then how many other people did?" The wall shimmered, and Jiraiya stepped out from the shadows. A much younger-looking Jiraiya than Naruto remembered, but he would recognize that kabuki face paint anywhere.
"Don't feel bad, sensei. I'm probably one of the few who did know. I was the one who married them." Sarutobi looked up at Jiraiya, eyebrow quirked.
"You can marry people?" Sarutobi asked the toad sage with a raise eye shrugged.
"Being as freakishly strong as one of the three, you get a lot of privileges. But no matter. What did you call me here for?" The Sandaime sighed.
"I have Minato's last message for you." Naruto watched as some of Jiraiya's good nature drain out of him. The man sighed.
"Really? What is it?" Jiraiya said in a sad voice.
"He said that if you don't watch over Naruto for him, he'll hunt you down and skin you like a fish for not taking care of your godson." The Sandaime repeated. Jiraiya stiffened at the words before chuckling.
"I'm a godfather…?" He chuckled again. "Not quite being a father, but this takes the cake." He slowly took out a notebook, scribbled something in it, and put it away. "That gives me an idea for a book. Though I'll probably never make it, since my first one was a flop." The perverted sage sighed.
Minato told me you intended to sex up your next one." The Sandaime chuckled."
Jiraiya grinned."Yep! That's what I'm best at!" the Sandaime chuckled as he took out a bottle of sake and took a swig from it.
"Ero-senin." Naruto muttered. Jiraiya choked on his tongue as the Sandaime did a magnificent spit-take.
"WHAAAAAA!" the two screamed as they crowded Naruto. "Did you just say something!" Naruto looked around, confused.
"What, you can understand me now? That's odd…" Naruto said as all color drained out of the two's faces. They charged out of the room, screaming at the top of their lungs that Naruto was a genius. A man at the top of the room dropped down with a pillow. Naruto felt a stone in his stomach drop.
"Die, freak of nature!" the ANBU roared as he slammed the pillow over the baby's face. Naruto struggled quite a bit.
"Oh, fuck! No fucking way!" he screamed before the pillow smothered him as the world went white.
It would be the first of countless deaths before Naruto finally found his way out of the video game.
Author notes well here it is Naruto:Game of the Year Edition chapter one
So what do you think read and review
Their will be countless video game references in this story but little to no crossovers unless I feel like it would work out