A/N: Very silly little oneshot, something bourne of insomnia rather than artistic calling lol.

Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked. Or Fiyero. Ew.

Pairing: Gelphie.


The Unfaithful and the Faithless

Fiyero saw the way they looked at each other. Despite the opinion of nearly everyone who knew him, Fiyero was not a fool. Neither was he blind. He saw that special light that went on in his girlfriend's eyes when her roommate walked into the room. He saw the nervous blushing; the the shy, polite conversation; the giggling in situations only they understood. He saw the determination to never touch each other- one would spring away from the other if their hands so much as brushed. And their eyes never met completely when they were in company...

But even more than these things, Fiyero felt. He had an uncanny knack for guessing the emotions of his friends, and when he came into contact with Elphaba and Glinda it was like hormonal Forth of July. They may have thought they were being subtle, but they, like so many others, had gravely underestimated Fiyero's ability to conclude.

He sat across the table from the two beautiful girls. Glinda was chatting aimlessly to Boq, who sat alongside Fiyero, and Elphaba seemed to have found something very interesting in the design of the floor tiles. He sighed inwardly. Another awkward double date with an imposing and ever-present elephant lurking in the room. Glinda and Elphaba knew that Boq and Fiyero knew. Boq and Fiyero knew that Glinda and Elphaba knew that they knew. Everybody knew; but no one acknowledged. So they sat round the cramped restaurant table, the boy's hands laying uncomfortably but necessarily on their respective girlfriends', with no one saying much. When the tense, superficial conversation had been had, they would would all turn gratefully to the generous supply of alcohol that dotted the tabletop. Drink brought relief, at least the friends could amuse (read: distract) themselves with hopeless dancing while they each waited for whatever they would escape home to; for the boys, this meant a lonely dorm room and (particularly in Fiyero's case) a stack of unfinished homework they had no intention of attempting. The girls undoubtedly had more exciting things to get back to- Fiyero could barely watch as their eyes began to dart from each other to the door, a telling look that had become as familiar to their poor boyfriends as the tension.

Suddenly, Glinda decided it was time for her to "powder her nose". She announced this in her bright little voice while glaring meaningfully at Elphaba, who grabbed the bait egarly and notified the boys that she would join the blonde. They left together, Elphaba's fist clenched in anticipation of something that was almost certainly not make up application. Fiyero knew how this ended- in ten or so minutes his girlfriend and her green lover would emerge, shaking and sweating, from the cubicle, Glinda's lipstick smudged and Elphaba's tights slightly looser than before. And the boys would say nothing.

When the bathroom door had been closed and a high pitched giggle could be heard coming from the general direction of the lavatory, a grim and depressing gloom settled over the abandoned table and its abandoned inhabitants.

"They're totally doing it, aren't they?" Boq sighed to Fiyero, more a statement than a question.

"Yup." Fiyero replied glumly, jutting out his bottom lip while checking his reflection in one of the soup spoons.

Boq lowered his head to his empty plate and rested it against the cool china in defeat. Fiyero downed his wine glass, then grabbed Glinda's for good measure.

Suddenly Boq's head popped up, and there was a new hope burning in his Munchkin eyes that Fiyero had thought to be long dead.

"We can still watch, right?"

And identical, mischievous grins broke out across the forgotten boyfriend's faces as they surreptitiously followed their girlfriends through the bathroom door.


Review. Please. For the love of Oz.