A/N: Previously on A Walk to Eternity: Bella's mother has died and she has been getting weaker and weaker by the minute. Edward had told her that he had wanted to change her from day one, but didn't because he thought it would be better for her to have as human of a life as possible. In the previous chapter, Bella told Edward that she was ready to be turned, that she wanted it. And that is where this chapter picks up. Everything is leading up to Bella's new life.
I don't own anything. Never have never will.
"The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose."
It was almost time; almost time to start, not a new chapter, but a new book in my everlasting existence. Everything was about to change. Everything I had ever hoped for, ever dreamed over, ever wanted. It was about to become reality. It was going to finally light up my world of darkness.
Bella was starting to forgive herself for her mother's death. While it was in no fault of her own for the misfortune, it was something she couldn't help but blame herself for. She was moving on, she wanted to live again.
However, it was impossible for her to live, I mean truly live, in her condition. Her form of leukemia was eating her away faster, and faster each day she fought it. It consumed her every thought, every emotion, every dream. She was exhausted, everyday fighting a constant battle she could never overcome.
Soon it will crumble her. Soon it will kill her.
She was so tired, barely arousing for more then a few hours before collapsing back into her comatose state. Yet she continued to fight on. Many times I believed she was fighting for our love, just as much as for herself. But she couldn't keep fighting; she didn't have the strength.
She made it clear to me that she was ready. She was ready to give up her life as a human, and join me in a life condemned to the shadows. She wanted nothing more than the pain to stop, nothing more then the battle to be over. Yet, she still wanted to live. She wanted a life outside of the illness, outside of the struggle.
She wanted to be with me for eternity. She wanted to live her life a thousand times without fear, without pain.
I want to spare her, protect her, from the pain that comes with the transformation. But there was no way around it. She was going to suffer for three days. A terrible feeling of burning alive to replace her aches and pains of everyday life she has grown so accustomed to. I don't know if I could bare the thought of hearing her scream and beg for me to end her life than allow her to suffer this pain.
There was no way around it. Unless…
I rushed to Carlisle's study. He was sitting there staring idly at a transcript lying on his desk. He didn't even bother to look up and see who barged into his room with no notice, acting as though the world was going to end at any moment. "Edward."
"Carlisle I cannot bare to see Bella go through the pain we had to endure to become what we are," I rushed out as I took a seat opposite of him.
"Son, no one wants to see Bella go through that pain after everything she has already gone through, but I'm afraid there is no way around it if you want to turn her," he said calmly, putting his pen down and folding his hands together as he looked up at me.
"But what if there was a way?"
"What are you thinking Edward?"
"Would it be possible to put her into a medically induced coma? Or use as much morphine as we can so she would barely be able to feel it?"
Carlisle sat still for a moment. Processing everything. With the amount of drugs she has been taking, and her weak state… Edward I don't know how much more she could handle, he thought staring at me.
"It's finally happening!" Alice sang springing into the room.
"Carlisle," I said ignoring Alice's flittering motions as she sat on Carlisle's desk waiting patiently to see how everything was going to happen, "I won't be able to be by her side listening to her pained screams. Not for three days. I would go mad."
"Alice?" Carlisle asked staring up curiously at my sister.
"Bella," Carlisle said coming into view, "we'll be seeing you in three days. I promise you, you will never feel pain again after that."
"Mmm," my love sighed, closing her eyes before turning her head towards me, "sounds like heaven."
I smiled at her as Carlisle injected the syringe into her IV. Slowly I watched her eyes started to droop. "I love you," she whispered before drifted off.
"I love you," I whispered before kissing her softly on the forehead.
"How long will the medicine work?" Alice asked coming into view.
"Maybe two days, if Edward's venom doesn't eat away the affects sooner," Carlisle said checking her vitals.
Suddenly, Alice was interrupted by Bella's heart monitor. She was flat lining.
"What did you give her Carlisle?" I yelled coming out of the vision with Alice.
"I'm assuming she wouldn't have made it," he said calming, ignoring my outburst.
"Within three minutes she flat lined," Alice said just as calmly.
I took a deep breath, trying, and failing, to calm myself down. How could they be calmly discussing the future if my wife's death was in it? Did they not realize that there is only so much of Bella's suffering I can take before I, myself, want to die. If I have to see her go through any more pain than she already is I will go insane.
"Edward, don't do anything rash," Alice said, snapping me out of my thoughts. Apparently she had just seen me pick up my chair and throwing it against the bookshelves. That would have been a mess to clean up, and Carlisle would not have been very happy with the outcome of some of his books.
I rolled my eyes at her and looked back at Carlisle. "What were you thinking about giving her that didn't work?"
"Truthfully, I don't even know. I hadn't even begun to try to figure out what drugs we could give her so that she wouldn't feel the pain, but it wouldn't kill her. Morphine would work-"
"You weren't using Morphine in my vision," Alice piped in.
"Well, then I supposed Morphine would work, but there is only so much her body can take at this point. I would be surprised if the affects lasted for more than a day."
"So she would still be in pain for most of it," I said slowly. "It will work. She won't die for it."
Alice scrunched her face up, annoyed that I didn't allow her to share the 'good' news. "Well, I am going to see if Bella needs anything, since you clearly do not need me anymore," she said shortly before gliding out of the room.
"Two days is too long Carlisle."
"I know Edward. None of use can bare the thought of her experiencing the pain, but there isn't much else we can do in this situation." He stood up then and walked around his desk placing a hand on my hand. "The way I look at it is that it is only two days. After two years of living in constant pain as her body began to shut down, two days of pain will bring her an eternity of feeling numb. She will get an eternity to forget about her pain as a human."
"I'm not worried about her making it through the pain. I know she will be able to. She's an extremely strong person. I'm worried I won't be able to make it through these two days. As selfish as that sounds, I cannot bare the thought of it."
"It won't be easy. Nothing is ever easy, Edward. The hardest thing I think I ever had to do was watch you go through the pain of being turned. You were the first one I had turned. A part of me was worried that you weren't going to make it, that the influenza was stronger than my venom.
"However, the hardest part is knowing that there is nothing you can do. It's knowing that you caused that pain and you have to watch their body shut down as the venom over takes it."
"Carlisle, I really don't know what I would have done if I didn't come to you," I said sarcastically as I got up to leave.
He put a hand on my shoulder, urging me to turn around. "You didn't let me finish. While it is a horrible feeling to bear, the joy that comes after is worth it. You are going to give Bella a completely different life. She will actually be able to live."
I closed my eyes and sighed. "You're right. It's just hard to think about putting her through this pain after she has been through so much already."
He nodded solemnly. "The rewards that come after, however," he said letting the rest go unsaid.
I smirked as I walked out of his room towards my bedroom where we set up everything for Bella. Esme was sitting with her when I walked in. She was talking calmly with her about nothing of consequence.
I leaned against the door jam, watching Esme's face light up about something she was telling Bella. She smiled and laughed with Esme before she caught a glimpse of my out of the corner of her eye.
She eye warmed with love and her heart fluttered with excitement as she smiled at me. Esme followed her eyes and smiled warmly at me. I'm so happy you two will finally get your happily-ever after, she thought as she made her way out of the room.
I kissed Bella softly on the lips before sitting down on the edge of her bed. "It's almost time love."
"I know," she whispered as she looked towards the window. Her heart thudded a little louder than normal.
"Hey, what's the matter?" I asked running my thumb across her cheek, feeling the blood rush toward the area in my wake. I think I'll miss that the most.
She shook her head. "Nothing out of the usual."
"Bella," I said softly, but firmly, as I put my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me. "Tell me."
"I'm nervous," she said casting her eyes down.
"About the pain?"
She laughed humorlessly. "I've never been worried about the pain. While I know it will be worse than what I am feeling now, at least this will have light at the end of the tunnel. I can make it through the pain because I know that I will be alive, really alive, when it's all over."
"Then what are you nervous about?"
"Us. That we won't… that you won't…"
"Bella, look at me." She lifted her eyes up to meet mine slowly. "Whatever you are worried about that involves us, don't be. Nothing is going to change the way I feel about you. I have loved you since the moment our eyes met for the first time. Of course I will not love you the same when you wake up, but that's only because my love for you grows every day. I love you more than I did on our wedding night and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Just because you are no longer human does not mean I will not love you anymore."
"No," I said shortly, cupping her face gently, "don't even think it. I do not care if you have a pulse or not. You are the love of my existence, Isabella Swan."
"Cullen," she said with a small smile.
"My name is Isabella Cullen now," she said giggling.
I laughed along with her. Some times it is still hard for me to believe that this amazing woman would want to be my wife.
"I missed that," she said softly, placing a fragile hand on my cheek.
"What?" I asked, calming down, and kissing the inside of her palm.
"Your laugh. It's been a very long time since I've seen you so at ease."
"I know, love, and I'm sorry. Soon I won't have to worry as much."
She raised an eyebrow at me skeptically. "I doubt that."
I laughed again. "Hey, I can relax. There are many things I like to do when I'm at ease."
She gave me a mischievous smile, running her hand slowly down my arm. "When I'm strong I would love to be apart of that."
I smiled down at her. "When you're strong," I promised. I kissed her softly on the lips again with the promise of what's to come hanging in the air.
"When is everything happening?" she whispered.
I leaned my forehead against hers, brushing her cheeks with my thumbs. "In a couple of minutes. Carlisle is getting everything together."
"What else do I need?"
"We are going to give you Morphine to help ease the pain for a day at least."
She nodded, taking a deep breath. Her heart began to pump faster and louder. Her breaths became shallower and faster as well. Her nerves were increasing. "I don't know why I am getting so nervous," she said giving a nervous giggle.
"Hey, shh, now, shh. Everything is going to be okay Bella. I won't leave your side for a minute," I said soothingly.
At that moment Carlisle came into the room, wheeling in a crash cart that held everything necessary for the upcoming events. I sat up and took Bella's hand into mine. She weak hand gave mine a little squeeze as she stared expectantly up at Carlisle.
"Are you ready Isabella?" he asked taking a syringe out of the first drawer.
She nodded as she took a deep breath. She turned her head towards the wall as Carlisle filled the syringe with Morphine.
"Edward you may want to get on her other side. As soon as the affects start you will have to administer your venom as fast as possible."
I nodded and moved to her side. I kissed the top of her head and brushed back her hair. "I'll be right here when you wake up, love."
She nodded, smiling sadly up at me. "See you in three days."
Carlisle then injected the needle into her, feeding her system the drug. "I love you," she whispered as her eyes began to droop.
"I love you," I whispered back kissing her on her lips.
"Now," Carlisle said as he left the room.
I cupped my wife's face tilting her head to the side. I took a deep breath, allowing the venom to fill my mouth. Then I sunk my teeth into her neck.