Author's Notes: I love Sweets. LOVE him.
fast food and penis envy
"You know," Sweets muses as Booth knocks down yet another strike, "it is a statistical impossibility for him to be good at everything."
Brennan raises her eyebrows, frowning over at the dejected-looking therapist. This is, she thinks, going to be one of those conversations that ought to be reserved for Booth or Angela. "Anthropologically speaking, a good athlete can be adept at many different sports," she says.
Sweets shakes his head. "No, but Booth, he's good at everything," he tells her emphatically, raising a dull fist as Booth returns. The agent bumps it cheerfully and reaches for his coat, beaming down at Brennan.
"I'm going to get some French fries. Anyone want anything?"
Brennan smiles at him. "I'll share yours." He rolls his eyes but grins back, and then he's swinging up onto the better-lit eating area and striding towards the counter. "He always gets extra-large," she confides to Sweets. "So there's enough for everyone."
The young therapist throws up his hands. "See? Do you see what I mean? He's good at all athletic endeavors and he never misses a shot and he looks like a freakin' poster child for America and he always thinks to get enough French fries for everyone? I mean, really? Does that sound fair to you? The man's a machine." Sweets slumps back into his seat and Brennan thinks that this evening is not exactly going the way they had hoped.
She had some idea that Booth had intended to make Sweets feel better over the loss of his girlfriend, but she is not picking up any cheered vibes. "Booth isn't a machine," she tells Sweets worriedly. Perhaps his recent loss is harming his intellectual processes. "The type of technology required to make a robot with such unique human tendencies hasn't been developed yet."
Sweets stares. "No, Dr. Brennan, I realize that, thank you. It's just an expression." He shakes his head glumly. "I'll bet April would have stayed with Booth. I'll bet Booth's never been dumped in his life."
"Sure he has," Brennan says unthinkingly. "He got dumped by Parker's mom when he asked to marry her."
Sweets brightens. "Really? Booth got dumped?"
She frowns, bewildered. "Why would I lie about that?"
"Okay, I brought the fries, and I got extra because I know that once you smell their greasy goodness even Sweets won't be able to resist. I wasn't sure about the dip, so I went with ketchup, because I think we can all agree that salt-and-pepper has nothing on Heinz." Booth settles himself between them and rubs his hands together in anticipation.
Brennan eats hungrily, fully aware that she has to eat quickly if she wants to keep up with her partner, and Sweets follows suit.
"Now, see, Sweets? There's nothing a little bowling and French fries can't fix."
"Yeah, it's definitely the bowling that's cured my heartache," Sweet says. He looks over at her and winks like they're sharing some kind of a secret, but for the life of her Brennan can't fathom what it is.