Alright. This is my first chapter. So tell me what you think. I really wanted this to be funny.

Your Author

Somebody get me off of this Toilet

Bella's POV

I walked slowly over to the bathroom and waited for Alice to get out the shower. Lord I need to use the bathroom. Hurry up Alice. Other people need to do their business. Okay finally Alice got out of the bathroom.

I closed the door behind me and pulled down my $2.00 pants. My feet dangled over the toilet seat .The toilet were pretty cold and I should. Too bad Jacob wasn't here to warm the seat up for me.

After doing my business I tried pulling my butt up but I was stuck. Crap. I started thinking about calling someone but I still had my Dora the explorer undies down and I didn't want to be embarrassed.

The reason why I have Dora Explorer underwear is because when I was in Arizona and I had gotten pneumonia and I had to stay at the hospital for two weeks and I started watching Nickelodeon Jr. and so I got pretty obsessed and before I knew it I was at Target buying my first pair of Dora the Explorer underwear. There was a big rush of satisfactory after buying my first pair of Dora the explorer underwear.


"Bella, is that you, haven't you been in there for 30 minutes?"Carlisle asked questioningly.

"Yes, it's me," I replied wearily. I lifted my head but ended up hitting the edge of the countertop. That ought to put a scar in my head. I thought tiresomely.

"What are you doing in there?" Carlisle asked yet again.

"Daddy, get out me out of here," I whined impatiently without answering his question.

"Hold on hone, I'll get you out there in a second, is the door stuck or did you trip in the shower and you're in a position which is not easy to get out of?" Carlisle answered quickly.

"NO, there is sticky glue on the toilet and I'm itchy but I can't reach the lotion and it smells funny, and I'm thirsty, I need something to drink and to eat…preferably a garden salad from Wendy's with chicken on the side, a coke too, and a kids toy," I replied and asked at the same time.

"Alright then I'm…..."Carlisle tried to say but I had already butted in.

"NO, I don't have anything on," I replied hopelessly.

"You mean to tell me you are in the bathroom without any clothes on," Carlisle asked in shock.

"No, I have clothes on I just have any pants on or underwear, how do you expect me to sit on the toilet and do my business without having my underwear off and pants?" I answered furiously.

"Bring in a female, okay, I'm sorry I'm like this but I am going through PMS and I can't help it," I cried softly.

"It's okay Bella, It won't matter that much to Edward if he sees me helping you," Carlisle replied casually.

"PLEASE, get a female I can't stand being in here it's torture, and speaking of torture will you get Emmett I think he is the one responsible for doing this," I asked thinking of Alice telling Emmett off. Wouldn't that be sweet victory.

"By the way, Where is Emmett?" I asked furiously.

"Oh, he said he was going to go cross country, he also told me to give this to you," Carlisle said while reaching into his pocket and grabbing a letter with my name on it.

The Letter Read:

Dear Bells,

This trick took months of planning and I had to keep the top secret information away from a mind reader and I psychic. Think about it this way. When Edward comes and get's you he is going to be very impulsive and start ripping everything apart until he gets to your clothes. No need to thank me I do this kind of marriage helping all the time. Don't worry about me I'm already in France watching the nude women put on sun screen. Don't tell Rosalie I will be in so much trouble and she will divorce me. Do you want me to be divorced?

Sincerely your lovely Prankster,


"Ok," Carlisle spoke soothingly as if that was going to get the sticky glue off my butt and the toilet. I sighed deeply as if getting Emmett's butt kicked wasn't enough. And to be quite honest it isn't. But that's just me.

A Few Minutes Later

"Bella, are you okay," Alice spoke questioningly.

"Yeah, I'm fine but will you get me off this toilet," I asked wearily.

"Alright, are you comfortable with me being in here," Alice asked quickly trying to forget that I'm not wearing anything other than a shirt.

"Yeah, you can come in, but just don't tease me," I told Alice quietly.

"Umm……. why would I tease you?" Alice replied oddly.

Hope You enjoyed. It's my first. But if you review I will write the second chapter. Then you get to find out what Edward is going to do when he sees his beloved stuck on the toilet. Yes it's time for a Emmett vs. Edward showdown. May the best prankster win.