A/N: Alright, so as always the characters are not my own but Stephanie Meyers…however the storyline is mine…hope you enjoy it…Again it starts after Bella is left by Edward in New Moon…
Bella had felt alone for years now. Every day just another day where she was alone and empty inside. All because she lost the one thing that always made her feel more -- feel whole. She waited, always hoping he'd return and say he was sorry and wrong to have left, but he never came back and one day she stopped wishing, stopped hoping and just gave up. When she gave up waiting for him, she gave up part of herself. She didn't realize it would be that way -- but it was.
So she did the only thing she could, move on with her life. She chopped off half her hair, making it barely reach her shoulders, and dyed it jet black. It helped her hide who she was, the happy girl she hated to be reminded of. She continued school, graduated at the top of her class -- it was easy, she didn't have anything else to do besides schoolwork. That was her life, go to school or go to work, when she wasn't doing one or the other she was studying or reading. She wanted to run away from Forks so many times, but knew it was a futile effort before she graduated so decided to go to college on the other side of the country instead. Boston, she went all the way to Boston College. It had officially been three years since Edward left but her memories still remained. She could remember his face, the way his hair was unruly and bronze and the golden glint to his eyes when he looked at her. The way his voice sounded like music to her as he spoke, and the way he could make her forget anything and everything that could ever hurt her. But the little things were starting to fade, what he wore that last day she seen him, the way he smelled. Three years and that all she could erase from her memory, maybe another three would erase the rest? It was worth a shot and she didn't really have any other choices now did she?
None of it was her choice, but now it finally was. She was in charge of her life and refused to live by anyone else's rules ever again. She tried to denounce all ties to Edward, music her biggest one. He loved it and she couldn't stand it anymore -- at least the soft classical ballads he loved so much. Debussy no longer in her collection, and all classical compositions banished from her memory and iPod. She just couldn't stand the sound of it anymore.
"Come on Bells we're late." Chrissy yelled from across their dorm room. Chrissy was the perfect room mate for her, always busy worrying about herself to notice the way Bella acted. They were opposites and Bella was thankful for it, she never had to worry about not hiding her depression because Chrissy just wasn't the type to notice. Bella lived like a nun, never being one to venture on a date, or to a bar where she could possible be asked on a date. She just wasn't interested -- not since he left. She still could say he was the last person to hold her, even kiss her. For her, every other guy failed in comparison to Edward Cullen.
"I know I'm coming." She called back as she gathered her books and her bag. She had her Advanced Anatomy and Physiology class today, and she knew it was not going to be easy. Yes, she was studying medicine. Bella Swan, Miss. I faint at the sight of blood Swan was studying to become a nurse. She had went to the hospital so many times and seen how helpful they could be and wanted to be that. To help someone being as she was no longer in a place to have people help her. It amazed everyone when she told them this was what she wanted, but no one questioned her commitment. She wanted this, and no one was letting her give up that dream. Given, the biology classes and medical classes would always remind her of Edward, after all he had gone through medical school and their class together was biology but as her mother said: "you shouldn't give up your dream for 'some guy'" and that was what she was sticking to.
As they walked into class it was another day for Bella. She pulled out her book and notebook, getting herself ready for another lecture, another old guy preaching on the importance of reading and staying current with the material. Chrissy was waiting to see if the teacher would be changed and be young -- under 40. While Bella was getting her thing together, Chrissy was whispering with the guy next to her.
"So I hear there's a new professor." She said and Bella nodded, it didn't matter to her. Nothing mattered, she'd work day and night to study for her grades and get out of school early, she wanted to graduate by Spring and that meant more classes then usual. But she didn't care, she wanted to be out of school and in the real world -- making a difference for someone capable of a full life. As their new professor came in, Chrissy stopped breathing, her dream of a young professor coming true. Not that Bella noticed, she was focused on her book.
"Good Morning, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he said and Bella for the first time looked up. The color instantly draining from her face as she tried to return to normal breathing. "I'll be your professor, Dr. Bergman had to take the semester off and asked me to fill in, hope you don't mind." He joked, the confidence and grade there that was always there. Bella tried to shove her things in her bag, she needed to get out of there but she could barely breath -- let alone move. Then the room started to spin, it all was going too fast through her mind and before she knew it, her head started to spin and she fell off her chair. Fainting as she hit the floor.
"Oh my god, Bells are you ok?" Chrissy screamed as she ran to her friends aid. But she was quickly removed by Carlisle who didn't recognize her at first.
"Are you ok?" He asked, and as she opened her eyes and looked at him he knew who she was. He had a million thoughts now clouding his mind as he tried to focus on her health. He started to sit her up, and checked to see if she was cut from the fall, or if there was blood anywhere. Thankfully she just had a bump on her head but he still needed to talk to her. To talk to her about Edward but wasn't sure now was the right time. "You bumped your head, are you still dizzy?" He asked, trying to banish the thoughts of who she was from his mind -- she was someone in trouble. Given she was the love of his sons life, the only love of his sons life but that didn't matter. He needed to remain professional.
"I'm fine," she said and got up, reaching for her stuff. "I need to go." She said quickly and he stopped her, he had to talk to her.
"Go to my office in the next room. I want to make sure you're ok and there isn't any lasting damage. You might have a concussion and shouldn't sleep yet anyway." He said and she knew she was helpless to decline. She grabbed her bag and plopped down on his couch. She was trying to wrap her mind around it all. What happened and how the hell did her ex-boyfriend's father become her professor?
Carlisle was preoccupied through the entire class, always staring at the door to his office in the back of the room. This was not how he pictured his day, and in no way thought he would see Bella again -- let alone as his student. How didn't Alice warn him? He thought and then remembered he didn't recognize Bella at first, so maybe Alice didn't either. He dismissed class early and went to meet Bella in his office. He saw as she was sitting with her head in her hands, obviously deep in thought.
"Bella I'm sorry," he started and she shook her head.
"It's not your fault, you couldn't have known how I'd react. I was just surprised. It's been such a long time and after how things ended -- I didn't expect to see you again."
"It has been a long time -- too long." He said and she gave him a half smile as he sat next to her. "I didn't know you were pre-med. I mean I remember you fainting at the sight of blood." He said and she laughed.
"Ya well I learned fear doesn't do anything but put your life on pause and I didn't want to live that way anymore. I wasn't letting anyone or anything run my life anymore -- not even fear. I'm in the nursing program, figured it was my way to give back to all the nurses who helped me."
"Sounds like you have it all together." He said, trying to gauge how she was in regards to his son, knowing how Edward was faring. He tried to fish for information but she stayed quiet. "Have you decided if you'll remain in my class?" He asked, switching tactics for a moment.
"If I don't then I'm out of the program, and won't graduate like I planned. So as long as you are.." She trailed off.
"Its more then fine. It will be good to have a familiar face."
"Sure, but didn't Alice see this?"
"If so she didn't tell me. But I didn't recognize you, the hair really makes you look different." He said and she smiled, he noticed that she was hiding who she was. "She wanted me to take this job, said it was important but didn't really tell me why."
"She always had a plan. But I just have one thing to ask, don't bring 'him' up. It took me a long time to get here…." she paused and looked at the scar on her wrist. The reminder of all that they were, all the memories they had together. Carlisle watched the pain cross her face and had his answer -- she missed Edward just as much as Edward missed her.
"It's a deal." He said instantly, knowing he couldn't take her back to wherever she was when Edward left. It wasn't fair to her, and this was his sons choice. Knowing where she was would just hurt him, especially since they were so close to one another. "Just means I am going to learn Japanese." He said and she smiled.
"You're not going to tell him?"
"Not unless you want me to." He said and she shook her head and left. She was more torn up then she had been since he left and didn't want anyone to see her that way. She sent Chrissy a message saying she was at the library so she wouldn't worry and ran. She just wanted some time alone.
The moment Bella left his office Carlisle called Alice, he needed to know if she knew Bella was in his class or if she was working on a plan to get Edward and Bella back together. He still wasn't sure which side of the line he was on in that circumstance.
"See anything interesting about my day?" He said and he heard her laugh.
"Eventful start, but is she ok? I was going to warn you but it worked into the lecture and I kind of forgot. I knew she'd be fine…" Carlisle listened as she trailed off. Realizing she didn't know it was Bella, she didn't recognize her.
"You should have warned me." He said and got off the phone quickly, he had a lot to consider. Was he really going to keep this secret from everyone? Could he keep it from everyone and was he doing the right thing. As he sat at his desk, he tried to cloud his thoughts, knowing Edward would suspect something was wrong, but hoping he was distracted enough in his depression to question him about it.