I was floating. I could not feel anything anymore, not pain not emotion just emptiness. I thought I was dead but of course, I must be for I can no longer feel my baby with me. Edward must have saved her, I hoped that that was the case. They would be happy even without me. This thought comforted me in a surreal way.
Suddenly, I heard a voice it sounded somewhat familiar, but so far away.
If I were dead, why was I hearing voices?
"Bella. Bella?" the voice was becoming clearer. What if I'm not dead what if I am merely recovering from the pain I felt earlier. I tried to open my eyes and was blinded by light, I found focus and looked to the source of the voice. To my surprise it was Rosalie at my bedside, I look a moment to take in my surroundings. I quickly realized that I was I the temporary hospital part of the Cullen house.
I looked back at Rosalie and tried to speak. "R-Rose?" Rosalie's eyes snapped to meet mine. The look on her face told me something was very wrong, the fact that she was here with me told me something was wrong. "Bella, how are you feeling?" Rosalie spoke with a soft kind voice that I had never heard before. It almost sounded as if she had been crying. I struggled to speak again but managed to croak " I feel drowsy and really weird almost nauseous. But, Rose my health is not what's put that look on your face is it. What's wrong? Where are Edward and my baby?"
Rose looked away and out the window. She took and unneeded breath and said, "I'll go get Edward for you if you like or maybe you prefer Alice ? Who ever you want Bella I'll get them." I was starting to get very confused what was wrong with Rosalie and why was she being so cautious? I just nodded and watched her leave.
I was beginning to feel anxious. Where was Edward, why was Rosalie upset ? All these questions were running through my head. When finally he door opened and Edward and Alice walked in. The way they approached me confused me, for one they were walking too slowly and they were also looking at me as if I was about to explode. "Edward?" my voice came out in barely a whisper.
Edward smiled, but not the same smile I had come to love. His smile was wrong, sad in a way. It almost looked like he was smiling through he's usually composed mask. My heart began to speed as I realized that neither of them had my baby. What if she was taken to the hospital? What if she was born too early and was now sick ? None of the questions running through my mind helped. Again, I spoke with my cracked voice "Where is she Edward ? Where's my baby ?" I looked frantically between the two of them.
Alice spoke first. "Tell her Edward, tell her what happened." I was confused Alice sounded furious yet her face had a half agonized look. Edward did not meet my eyes as he began speaking. "Bella, love I need you to calm down. Just take some deep breathes okay." He continued, "You were in so much pain and you screaming was awful. I thought I was losing you. I didn't know what to do Bella, I couldn't loose you." I was beginning to grasp what he was really saying but I urged him to go on. "Bella, we had no choice. You were losing blood and Th-the baby was started drinking from you and I c-could not watch you die. So Carlisle and I did the only thing we could think of that guaranteed your life. We removed the ba-baby from your womb." I had never heard stutter.
His words had not sunken in so I asked, "Where is she now? Where's my baby now?" Edward did not look at me and instead Alice grabbed my hand and said "Bella, I'm so so sorry. We couldn't save her, we tried but as soon as they removed her from you, her organs shut down. She's gone Bella"
I thought my heart was going to explode it was beating to fast. I couldn't believe it my baby was… I couldn't bring myself to even think the word. My body began quivering as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I couldn't find words to say. I felt like my mind had stopped functioning. "Your lying! TELL ME THE TRUTH! WHERE IS SHE?" I yelled at them. Alice simply walked over and hugged me. I screamed as she held me, screamed for my child, screamed for my sanity. " Shh Bella it's okay I'll look after you. Your going to be okay we're here" Alice tried to calm me. I stopped screaming and whispered hoarsely to Edward "How could you Edward? She was your child to!"
Edward looked at me for the first time since he had entered the room. The look on his face was nothing short of aguish and shame but at that moment, I didn't care. "Answer me dammit!" I tried to yell but my voice would not allow it.
"Bella, I could not let you die" Edward said, quietly but passionately. "But instead you took the life of a child that had no yet had the opportunity to live or be loved." I retorted. " You were dying Bella, if I had not done what I did you both probably been dead. I had no choice!" Edward still trying to plead with me. "You should have let me die. If it was so easy to kill her than you should have let me bleed to death or better yet you should have drank me dry" I did not care how much my words hurt him he need to know what was on my mind for once. I looked up in time to see Edward run from the room. Leaving me to breakdown with Alice desperately trying to calm me.
What was there to do now other than cry?
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