A/N: Bella and Jacob will be friends but THAT'S IT. No offence, I love Jacob but I thought it might be good to do a story where there isn't that distracting angst. Instead I would rather focus on how Bella is feeling. And I have an idea of how she would try and get Edward back and it isn't anything I've seen done so far though I sure haven't read every single story either.
All characters property of Stephenie Meyer.
He left. I can't believe he left. This isn't happening. It isn't real. My skin is crawling with the emptiness of him and I am vibrating with despair. The thought of him out there happy without me is more than I can bear. So it's time to end it. Some say that suicide is selfish and I guess it is but I've spent my life taking care of other people. It's time I do something for myself. Black oblivion is preferable to the decades spread before me without him. Not even sleep provides an escape for my dreams are all of him. I wake up crying almost every night.
So here I stand on the high cliffs above the churning grey sea. There is a small pang of guilt knowing that Esme had once done this same thing and I hope if they ever find out what happened to me she doesn't take it personally. It hurts me that they all left but I can't blame her. She's as much a mother to them as any flesh and blood human is to their child and she did what a mother does. She supported her son and did what she thought was best for her family.
Thoughts of them bring fresh tears to my eyes mingling with the misty air around me. They used to be my family. Or so I thought. I wasn't only losing Edward. I was losing all of them. My best friend Alice, Edward's bear of a brother Emmett, Carlisle with his gentle smile and hands that had mended me more than once and even Jasper and Rosalie. They were all out there happy without me. He had said that it would be as if he had never existed but he was wrong. It would be as if I was the one who never existed and it seemed only fitting to make that true.
I stepped towards the cliff edge taking a cursory look down. The angry waves beat a steady rhythm on the worn rocks and I hoped I could jump far enough out that my body would be washed away by the sea. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone anymore and that included in my death.
I took a deep breath and looked out at the cloud covered sky. This would be the last thing I ever saw. I closed my eyes and I jumped.
And I fell.
The air was like a cool blanket around me and I began to wonder if I hadn't really jumped that is until I felt the ice water claim me in a thousand shards of glass. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know which way was up and I didn't care. I had done my research. Drowning was supposed to be quick and fairly painless. I kept my eyes closed as the pressure in my chest built. My body screamed to breathe, screamed to live but my soul knew there was no point. So I gave it what it wanted. I breathed, swallowing a huge gulp of salty ocean and my lungs protested violently. They lied. It hurt. But it didn't matter because that beautiful black oblivion was taking over and all was finally peaceful.