Dead to Me: Chapter One

Everyone stood tense waiting for the pin to drop. The room was like any other hotel room. The walls were eggshell, a perfect off white and the lines were clean. The room felt sterile, as if it knew that any more color or craziness would flip the switch to set the bomb off. Her heartbeat was the timer. And it was ticking, and everyone, including her, could hear it.

"Sookie, please, honey, it doesn't have to be this way," he said making sure his eyes were meeting hers.

She kept contact, and with their meeting glare, the bond flared, buzzing high and sharp. It was alerting them that something was wrong—that they should be aware of the danger showering upon them. As if they needed that.

"This is what I want, Eric."

The pain, his pain, caused her to flinch but she did not look away. She couldn't. She filtered through the card deck of emotions. She could not remember a time when there were so many feelings throbbing in the bond. She was looking for her strength, and selected hope instead—not wanting to risk keeping the moment aching any longer.

Bill's arm rested carefully around her waist, and his fingertips hung to her belt but did not move. His other hand rested on her right shoulder. She knew that this was killing Eric but did not make any effort to ease his comfort.

"I can't live like this anymore—it's killing me. You know what you did, and I do too. This is really the best for you."

He discarded the thought, as if he was important in this moment.

"Breaking the bond could kill you."

"I told you I was willing to die for you."

"We don't have to be together. We could live separately—I could move away and you'd barely know I existed."

She didn't waver. She was unwilling to let his words make her change her mind.

"You'd still be there, I can't live with you under my skin—reminding me of the pain you've put me through. I want to move on—I'm trying to move on. You're killing me."

She had said it twice and each time it cut into him. He was her protector; all he could think about was keeping her alive. It was against the grain to allow her to suffer, but if he was the source, was he willing to keep putting her through it?

"You said you were willing to die for me."

He said it as if it would be the declaration that changed her mind. She always kept her promises. He allowed her hope to fill his—this was the moment that her crazy idea would flicker, and then be extinguished.

"Not slowly."

He fell to his knees and the blood ached to come through every orifice but only his tears spilled over. She took this moment to breathe in and look away.

"See, you feel something."

"Yes, your pain allows me to feel nothing else."

He looked away, letting the shame seep into his heart. Pam stepped towards him; the wave of movement made every person in the room bristle.

"When the bond is cut, you'll be dead to me. You are dead to me."

She nodded to Niall who stepped forward. She grabbed the dagger that had been on the table between them. It glittered and for a moment she caught the reflection of Eric's eyes. He was taking the moment to search the bond and remember everything that was left of them. She cut through the skin that was tight against her flexed wrist before he could feel anything else hovering between them.

She felt Bill tense when the smell of her pulsing blood filled his nostrils, and Pam looked up from Eric, fangs down. Sookie lowered herself to the small lounge chair and held her hand over the white bucket that was placed on top of newspapers left there to protect the carpet. The blood spilt.

"Get him out of here, Pam. Before he does something irrational and gets himself killed."

Pam rotated her master towards the door, and debated whether to pick him up. She looked over her shoulder finally granting herself the opportunity to speak.

"Sookie…"

But before she had the chance to finish her thought, Niall had taken the dagger and cut open her other wrist.