All right people, here's the next part. Most of you voted for Jasper so I decided to do Emmet (just joking)
Disclaimer: It still belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
For those who are new, please read the other stories first, thank you.
It's not enough to be forgiven
Edward was unloading the trunk of Carlisle's car, when I stepped through the trees. I looked at them in confusion, not expencting anyone outside and wondering, why they had bought a new chair.
"What's this for?" I asked, looking at Carlisle, while Edward closed the trunk, the foilwrapped chair in on arm.
"I broke mine," he answered, when Carlisle just looked his way. I could feel his annoyance, mixed with shame coming in waves. I didn't really understand it. He didn't feel that way after his return, mostly relieved but not this guilty.
"Care to explain?" I asked, following them inside. I could hear that Alice was already back and upstais with Esme, making her try on new clothes and explaining the importance of a V-shaped neck for that kind of shirt. I would never get it, but I just let Alice lay out my clothes for the day to make her happy.
"No, Jasper," he snapped, quite rude actually, but I saw him flinch the second the words left his mouth; and feeling the strong wave of emotions coming from Carlisle, I guessed he just received a mental dressing down for that.
"My apologies," he said, looking down on his chair for a second before waiting for my acceptance. I nodded, feeling him to be sincere, and walked the two steps over to him, taking the chair out of his arms and waiting for him to lead the way upstairs.
"I would prefer not to talk about it, Jasper," he said, looking over his shoulder at me. I send him a wave of calm.
"I know," I said, "But I have a feeling, that we should have a little talk."
Edward went in first, waiting in the middle of his room while I unwrapped his chair, listening carefully to his emotions. He looked longingly to his stereo but didn't make a move to turn it on. That was a first. Normally there was always some music playing when Edward was in his room.
"Don't you want to turn it on," I asked, looking at the stereo.
"Jasper, please. What do you want?" He was desperate now and wanted to be alone, I wouldn't let him.
"Talk." I guess this wouldn't be easy.
"I can read your mind, Jasper. There's no need to talk."
Ok, correcting myself, this wouldn't be just difficult but annoying as well, when he started to play like this. I decided to get to the point and be done with it.
"Carlisle punished you, didn't he?"
Oops, now he went from shocked to scared in a millisecond.
"You don't want to punish me as well, do you," he asked carefully now, not leaving me out of his eyes.
"Listen, I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry, but I beg you..." Did he really say 'beg'?
"I know I'd probably deserve it, but..."
"Edward," I interrupted and he shut his mouth.
"I'm not here to punish you. I am here to beg YOUR forgiveness."
"What for? – But you didn't mean to, you just acted on instinct when you attacked Bella. I know it's harder for you to resist human blood after having spilled so much. We understand that. It wasn't your fault and she only got hurt when I pushed her." He said having read my mind.
"I lost control and endangered Bella. I was the reason we had to leave. I was the reason you left and I'm sorry for it, don't you understand?"
"You went to Carlisle," he asked a little shocked after seeing my thoughts.
"Alice send me. And believe me it wasn't pretty." I let him see the memory of the event, one day after he left us.
Rosalie and Emmet had just left the house to go hunting after we had moved everything in, when Alice came into our room, her face sincere.
"You should go see Carlisle," she said holding the door open for me and expecting me to follow the straight out order. Of course I did, trusting that she saw, whatever was going to happen, would be the best way on the long run.
I went to his study and knocked, sending a wave of distress unintentional through the door.
"Come in, Jasper."
I stopped in front of his desk, not really knowing why I was send here, but queasy nonetheless.
"I guess you have a reason to be standing here and watching my floor, Jasper; care to share?" he asked after a while.
"Alice ordered me here," I still talked to the floor.
"She ordered you?" I could feel a mix of curiosity and disbelief, that she would do something like that.
"Nicely phrased, but an order without a doubt." I looked at him making sure he understood that I would recognise an order when I heard one.
"But she didn't tell you the reason?"
"Orders normally don't come with an explanation."
"Allright," he sighed finally putting his book down, "tell me then what you think she send you here for."
"I'm not really sure. I felt distressed the last couple of days, and I think I might have let the feeling wave around from time to time, making Alice nervous and all... you know."
"Might that have something to do with your attack on Bella?"
I flinched, not liking to be reminded of that day.
"You feel guilty and think it's your fault we had to move and that Edward left?"
I just stood there stunned. It was my gift to read or project emotions, but here he was, getting a clear analysis on my feelings by just looking at me.
"Yes," was all I could say.
"Edward is out there to hunt down Victoria. Things might have been different, if you hadn't attacked, but she would be a threat nonetheless. Now Edward is free to hunt her, he would have stayed near Bella all the time otherwise."
"But it's all going back to me attacking Bella. I couldn't even apologise to them."
"You can in time, Jasper. Edward will come back, just like last time," he tried to reassure me.
"I didn't know he was gone before." My voice was questioning, asking for more information, if Carlisle was willing to offer them.
"He had had a hard time adjusting to our diet just as you, Jasper. Even if he didn't drink any human blood for the first decade, he felt the need for it all the time. And one day he decided to leave Esme and me to taste it. He was sure it would be possible with his abilities to only hurt bad people. He came back a few years later, feeling guilty just as you now. He had killed evil people but had to find out that people sometimes did cruel or condemnable things without truly being evil."
"What happend after he came back?" I asked curious now.
"Esme and I welcomed him home. We forgave him, just being happy to have him back, but he couldn't forgive himself. He asked for punishment and I gave it to him."
"Would you do the same for me?" I asked feeling shy for a moment. I wasn't his real son, even if it always felt that he was my real father, but that might just be because of our human charade.
"We already forgave you, you know that," he sighed, "but I can see that's not what you need right now. Yes, I will do the same for you, Jasper."
"What will you do?" I asked as he stood up, quite unsure if this was maybe one of the less good choices I had made lately.
"I will spank you," he answered calmy, walking around his desk.
Unconsciously I took a step back, feeling afraid now. I couldn't explain the feeling as it was a punishment for children I had recieved from time to time when I was a child myself. And I was a vampire now. I wouldn't feel the pain as I did as a human and I would heal fast, but I couldn't make myself submit willingly to that kind of punishment.
Obviously Carlisle could see my reluctance as he took the decision from me by grabbing my arm quite strongly and pulling me over his lap on the couch. I tried to struggle unsuccessfully as he pinned my arms on my back. He waited patiently for me, until I gave up and just lay helplessly and defeated over his legs.
"Good boy." And the first smack fell on my rear, quickly followed by the second. I was surprised how much it really hurt, but I had stopped trying to get away by the seventh or eighth smack and tried to accept my punishment.
I winced with every collision between Carlisle's hand and my bottom and would it be possible I would have been crying by now. He had found a steady rythm to bring his hand down.
"Please," I finally begged but he didn't stop.
"I will tell you the same I told Edward. - You have chosen your punishment, but you have no say in when it will end, Jasper."
I tried to send some sympathy his way, but all I got were ten extremely powerfull smacks and a scolding for manipulating his emotions in this way.
"I'm sorry," I sobbed, "please, I won't do it again. And I won't ever touch a human again."
His slaps got lighter as he said: "I know you won't, son." I felt a wave of joy run through my body at his words and I guess he could feel it, too.
"You and Alice are as much my children, as Rosalie, Emmet or even Edward. Esme and I will take care of you whenever you need us, we are a family."
Halfway through the last sentence he had stopped the spanking, just holding me tight, one hand stroking my hair comfortingly until I had calmed down.
He helped me up and pulled me close to his chest as I clung to him.
"We know it is hard for you, but we are so proud of what you already achieved. You go to highschool everyday without hurting the humans and just because your instinct took over one single time, while the sweetest blood on earth was spilled before you, doesn't make you weak."
"But no-one else attacked Bella, it was just me again," I mumbled into his sweater.
"Jasper, Emmet stopped breathing the second her skin broke, and Rosalie turned and fled when Edward pushed Bella out of the way and she cut her arm. Everyone left when I bound her wound. You are not weak."
I couldn't really remember the seconds after Bella cut her finger and instinct had taken over, so I hadn't known the reactions of my family, but it was nice to know.
"May I go talk to Alice now", I asked a short while later, getting some distance between us.
"You may go in half an hour, pick yourself a corner for the time being and think about what we just talked about."
I dropped my head to the floor ashamed, while I walked over to a corner, listening to Carlisle sitting down behind his desk again and picking up his book.
"Time seems to stop when you face a corner, doesn't it?" Edward asked annoyed, that he had to experience it himself.
"Carlisle gave me ten extra-minutes when I tried to send some emotions to Alice."
"He always sends me down to the entrence hall to wait for Esme. I hate having to stand in a corner downstairs, there a just blank walls and Esme knows the second she walkes in that I have been punished again."
"Alice knew even before I got punished."
"I guess that's not better, either." He gave me a sloppy grin.
"So, you're banned from your stereo as well?" I asked nodding in the direction and he gave it a longing look.
"For the rest of the week. – And it's only Wednesday." He looked at me, as if his world just shattered in thousand pieces.
"So, do you think I could borrow me one or two of your CDs? I might want to play them later.
He grinned as well, both of us knowing he could hear every tune as if he was standing in a concert hall.
"But only if you tell me what happened to your chair," I added.
He growled annoyed, putting his face in both hands.
"You couldn't just let this pass, could you?"
I shook my head at his antics.
"Well, if you have to know. – It wasn't only Carlisle who spanked me, but Esme as well. I broke the chair when I grabbed too hard."
There must have been total shock on my face, my heart was filled with unending sympathy, imagening him standing bent over the chair with Esme spanking him.
He shook his head.
"Could you please think about something else?"
"All right." I tried to get the image out of my head. "So what music could you recommend."
"I would advise not to cheat on the first day of the punishment," Alice said, standing in the door suddenly. "It would be the corner for both of you or," she lay her head to the side for a second watching the future, "or a dressing down from both Esme and Carlisle and cornertime afterwards. Have fun."
She smiled hopping away to our room. We stood there frozen in place just looking at each other.
"Well," he started, "I guess we could always go hunting. Want to join?"
I just nodded, following him out of his room to go hunting for the second time today.
That's it, thanks for reading and please review.