CHAPTER 1: I MISS YOU

Look, we've all been through some bad times in a relationship: but this was the worst one i've been through. My boyfriend Jason had broken up with me because he was moving away; and I thought it was pretty dumb to do that, and he also said he wasn't going to deal with A Long Distance Relationship...he knew he would fall in love with some girl where he was moving, and he had a feeling I would fall in love with someone in our home town; like that would ever happen. I am madly in love with my now ex-boyfriend. He said he loved me the day before he moved, and he decided not to tell me about his big move. What a loser! Anywhoo; this is really bugging me and I need to get away from guys for a while, so I am not leaving my house until I am cured of my love-sickness. This might take a while, I mean I loved him; but he decided to leave me in my darkest hour: when I was ready to tell him that I loved him compassionantly. Apparently, I didn't have to because I ran out of time. I waited way too long to tell him that I love him so much. Why did I have to wait forever to tell him?

You are probably wondering who is ranting on about a guy who she loved very much. My name is Selena Block. I am 17 yeard old; I have long, wavy dark-brown hair and almond-shaped amber eyes. I am very beautiful, and a girl like me doesn't stay single for long. Every guy in the our High School wants to date me; but I reject them because I only love one guy: my ex-boyfriend Jason. I have 2 best-friends that only I can trust; Samantha (Sam) Jacobson: she has long wavy black hair, and almond-shaped hazel eyes. She is perfect too; she is currently dating this really hot guy named Matt Vernandes. He has scruffy black hair and emerald green eyes. My other bestfriend is Holly Anderson: she has ligh bleach-blonde hair and aqua-blue eyes; everyone refers to her as the Beautiful Angel: one problem with that nickname; she ain't an ANGEL...she's more of Satan's is dating this hottie named Jacob Baharie. This totally gorgeous guy with scruffy brown hair with dark-brown eyes. Me and my 2 bestfriends are the most popularist girls in Eastwood High School other known as EHS. I am head-cheerleader for the Eastwood Eagles; Holly is co-captain, and Sam isn't a cheerleader. She's a goth, and she doesn't like the fact that Cheerleaders are never themselves: according to her; Cheerleader's are stuck-up bratty, snobs. Even if she is talking about me and Holly, we are still her friend. The main reason we are her friend is because she was an outcast in 9th grade; just like us: but now me and Holly are cheerleaders, and she is a goth with her goth-friends. She just isn't bestfriends with Goths; she has us as bestfriends. The thing is; Jason moved away about 2 weeks ago, and I really miss him. He was my life! I just don't think he loved me the same way I loved him. We went out for 2 years; then his parents thought I wasn't good enough for him; so they decided to move as far away as possible because he refused to break-up with me; those are his words...and i'm not sure if he actually meant it or not, but I loved him: I do miss him very much; and I hope he misses me too. Holly and Jacob have been going out since the 7th grade, boy is she lucky. Matt and Sam had just recently started going out, and the truth is: I dated Matt since we were in 6th grade, then we broke up in 8th grade...now we are friends, but we probably are never going to be an item ever again. My life revolves around love, boys, money, jewelry, friends, clothes, shoes, purses, school-work, cheerleading, and most of all: relationships with people around me. In school, i'm not this sweet innocent girl everyone seems to think I am, I have been suspended from school before, but since I am important to the school's cheerleading team; they only made me suspended until the day before a big football game. That's how I met Jason; I was a Junior High Cheerleader, and he was new to the school's football team. I had never seen him before, so I introduced myself, and he introduces himself. He talked whenever he wasn't on the field playing; and honey...he was a really good football player. When the game was over, he walked me home and then he asked me on a date. I agreed to see a movie with him, and then he finally kissed me when he walked me home from the movie theaters. In Oceanview, you can walk anywhere; including the beach. Since then, we were going out; and each year our relationship deepened. Since 8th grade we were going out, and now that we are in 10th, our relationship is over...we went out for 2 year; and it was unbelievable that his parents didn't like me; I mean why didn't they say something two years ago? Anyway, since he moved my love-life has been un-happy. I was waiting for him to say "he loves me" but he never got the chance because his parents moved him away. I'm sure I am never going to find someone to love again. I said the same thing about Matt after he broke up with me because he liked Sam, but then I met Jason; this time I am pretty sure that I mean what I say about never loving anyone ever again. Now in Chemistry, I see an empty seat sitting next to me. I want to text him, but I know he won't write back to me. When ever I look next to me, I see him sitting there smiling at me with his white-crest smile. I miss the way he looks at me when we're together. Now all he is; is a distant memory. Holly said to forget all about him; it will be like he never existed. I try to believe it, but I loved him too much to forget about his perfect existance.

The way he looked at me was the best reason why I loved him: he would always look me in the eyes, smile his flashy white-crest smile, and mouth "Love you." but I could never understand what he was saying to me. I thought it was like "call me" or something. Every night, I called him to make sure he didn't forget about me. Now that he's gone, I can't do that anymore. His parents never liked me, and I respect that: but they took away the guy I love. How selfish was that? They love each other, but I don't take away their love-life. I wish I could; it would be a way to get back at them for taking Jason away from me. Holly and Sam have been way too busy spending time with Matt and Jacob to pay attention to my sobbing over Jason's move. Some friends' they are. I felt so alive when ever Jason was near me.