"Let's just try a few more Dr. Wilson." The attractive young speech therapist gave Wilson an encouraging smile. "You are doing so much better."
"I'm tired. Maybe next time." Wilson signed. He had already been through an hour and a half of psychical therapy before being carted down to speech. He just wanted to go back to Cuddy's and lie down for awhile.
"No signing please. As sweet as it was for your friend to give you such a convenient crutch, or should I say cane…" The therapist shot a reproachful look at House, who was perched on the edge of stool in the corner leaning on his cane. "You really need to use your voice as much as possible if you want to continue improving."
"I didn't just give him a crutch. I also added to his résumé ." House pointed out.
"Thank you Dr. House." The therapist sighed. "Now Dr. Wilson just a few more if you please."
"The dog says moo." House said in mock helpfulness.
"Sh-shut up….House." Wilson snapped.
"He's just crabby because he tried writing his name today and his handwriting looks like an epileptic five year old's." House explained.
"Li-like you…yours is much b-beter." Wilson retorted.
"What's that?"House put a hand to his ear. "I think I hear Cuddy calling. Time to change your diaper."
"B-beter….hide." Wilson switched over to signing. "She'll be mad if she finds out you skipped your nap time."
The therapist sighed again. "I think that is enough for today. See you next week Dr. Wilson. Dr. House, you really don't need to come every week you know."
"Nonsense. Little Jimmy here needs my support." House said as he pushed Wilson out of the room. "Come on Jimmy. Let's get you to Cuddy for that diaper change. Maybe if you're lucky she'll let one of the pretty nurses wipe your ass."
The ride home was a little too quiet for House's taste. Wilson was still sulking about his failed attempt at signing his own named and House's mocking behavior in front of his speech therapist. "You want to stop and grab a burger?" House asked as they approached a local diner.
Wilson gave House an icy glare. "Rea-real…funny."
"I'm serious. You can't just keep eating through your stomach. Weren't you the one who told me I wasn't going to get anywhere because I didn't want to try to steal a kiss from Chase?"
"That's not what I said. I said a cancer kid was braver than you because she took a chance and you were too afraid too." Wilson signed at House.
"Well I'm never going to want to steal a kiss from you with that tube sticking out of your gut."
Wilson rolled his eyes. "F-fine. I'll t-try a b-bite."
"G-good. I'm starving. You got your wallet?"
As House pushed Wilson through the door the younger doctor had to admit the food did smell pretty good. House helped Wilson slide out of his wheel chair and into a booth. "I don-n't…"
"I'll order you a small burger. Plain. Just don't munch it too fast. And if it tastes rotten, spit it out. I came in here to enjoy my lunch, not clean up your spew." House turned to the waitress standing behind him, who from the look on her face had overheard the tail end of the conversation. "He'll have a small burger, plain and a kid's sprite. I'll have the deluxe burger, no pickles, extra fries and a large chocolate shake."
When the food reached the table Wilson started to feel nervous. The last thing he wanted was to puke in front of the patrons of a crowded diner, not to mention have House publicly berate him for ruining his lunch. Wilson struggled to pick up the burger off of the plate in front of him. House noticed and reached over with his knife, cutting the burger into four pieces. "Th-thanks." Wilson mumbled as he managed to grip one of the pieces. When it reached his mouth he was surprised at how good it tasted.
"Slow down there Scarfy. It's been awhile since that shriveled belly of yours has had real food." Wilson stopped to carefully chew the bite that was in his mouth. "If you keep this down I might consider ordering Chinese tonight. Of course we will have to keep your accomplishments a secret from Cuddy. She'll want to bake you up something in her Hell's kitchen."
Wilson smiled as he took a sip of his sprite. "I don't see you complaining about eating her cooking." He signed.
"She threatened me with the hairbrush and I've been stuffing my food under my napkin." House grinned.
The rest of the ride home was much more pleasant. Wilson switched between signing and speaking as he and House made more jokes about Cuddy's lack of skill in the kitchen. As they pulled into the driveway Wilson noted that House wasn't pulling his chair out of the trunk but the walker that the physical therapist had given him earlier that day. "T-too t-tired." Wilson complained.
"What's that? You're a hypocrite?" House mocked. Wilson gave House the look of death as he grabbed onto the walker and shakily made his way up the driveway. As he reached the door House can up behind him with the wheel chair. "That's enough. If you fall now you might never dance again."
Wilson gratefully slid back into the chair and let House push him through the doorway. "Tired." Wilson repeated.
House ignored his friend's comment. "I'm thinking about going back to work. If those ducklings choose one more case that can be solved in thirty minutes I'm going to have to demote them to washing my car and deleting my emails."
"Wh-what…?" Wilson started, looking concerned.
"I thought I'd bring you along. It will drive my team nuts when they can't understand what we're signing." House grinned back at Wilson.
"I want to go home too. Do you know how hard it is to fantasize about Cuddy when you can hear her snoring in the next room? Talk about impossible." Wilson gave House a hurt look. "Don't worry; I still fantasize about you when you're snoring. Since I am going to have to rearrange all of my crap anyway I might as well make a spot for you in the corner of the living room. It's not like I have to worry about you waking me up with the blow dyer anymore. And don't even think about asking me to do your hair for you. Maybe you can ask Chase. It's not like he ever does any real work anyway."
Wilson's face brightened. He had often wondered what would happen when House finally decided to move back home but had been too nervous to ask. "Wh-what ab-bout…?"
"It's going to be risky. We'll have to sneak past the security cameras, and then distract the guard dog. And I'll tell you that dog is a real bitch." House smiled down at his friend. "Don't worry. I'm sure Cuddles will be happy to have us both out of her hair. Harder to lure in unsuspecting men and suck their blood when you have a couple of doctors living with you." Wilson continued to look concerned. "The Wicked Witch will be fine. Maybe she can adopt Dorothy and keep her from having to go back to the squalor in Kansas. Now let's order that Chinese before she gets back and wants to cook us flying monkey brains for dinner."
"Sw-sweet and s-sour ch-chicken?" Wilson asked.
"S-sure." House replied. He hoped Wilson wasn't picking up on how excited he was at the prospect of returning to work with his friend in tow or the two of them moving back into his apartment. God, no wonder half of the hospital staff thought they were gay. House made a mental note to mock Wilson more in front of the nurses as he went to retrieve the take-out menus off of Cuddy's fridge.