A/N: Set during New Moon after Edward and the Cullens have gone.
I woke up and for the first time, a smile crept onto my face. I picked up my cell phone and had a text message from Jacob. Cliff Diving today. I'll be there in ten. –J
Ever since he, who shall remain nameless, left… Jacob has made it his mission to bring a smile to my face. Finally after 6 months, it was working. I quickly got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to get ready. I loved spending time with Jacob and the pack. They were quickly becoming like family to me. I heard a loud knock on the door. I finished brushing my teeth and ran to the front door, opening it to a grinning Jacob.
"Morning, Bells!" Jacob hugged me tightly as he entered my house.
"Ouch, too tight," I commented as I grabbed my stomach. I was feeling shooting pain, even after Jacob released me from his arms.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Jacob asked concerned.
"No, no… I've been getting these terrible stomach cramps lately. It's probably just my period," I told him as I sat down on the couch. The pain was making it hard to breathe.
"Maybe we shouldn't be cliff diving today…" Jacob told me as he sat beside me with so much worry on his face.
"No, I want to go! See, all better!" I jumped off the couch and grinned just to prove to him I was okay. The pain was still there, it had just subsided some.
"Okay, but promise me that you'll tell me if it comes back."
I nodded and ran up the stairs to finish getting ready. In just a few short minutes, we were on our way to La Push. Sam, Emily and Paul were waiting for us. Emily ran over to hug me.
"You're going to love it Bella! It's so exhilarating!" Emily had my arm in hers as she led me to where Jacob was already with Sam and Paul. I took a peak over the cliff. It was an awfully long way to the water.
"Scared Bells?" Jacob asked me, causing me to jump.
"Not at all," I grinned. I began to think about the incident with the motorcycles. I heard his voice then… Surely I would hear his voice again soon. He wouldn't like this too much. I knew it. "Can I go first?" I asked.
"Sure," Sam grinned. He began explaining something about the currents and how to ride them into shore. I wasn't really listening. I was ready to hear his voice one more time. I needed to hear his voice. The pain in my stomach thickened. I lightly rubbed it, fully aware that Jacob was watching me. I knew he wouldn't let me jump if he knew the pain was back. I stepped back a few steps away from the cliff. I wanted a running start. Don't do this, Bella. You promised me. His angelic voice swept through my body and I could do nothing but smile. I began my running start and leapt off the side of the cliff. Bella, why must you torture me this way? I felt the air whoosh past me as I plunged into the ocean. I opened my eyes in the dark water. I couldn't tell which way was up or down and the pain in my stomach was so strong, I knew I would be passing out soon. Swim, silly girl. Swim. All of a sudden, blackness surrounded me.
The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. I opened my eyes to see Charlie and Jacob sitting across from me.
"Dad…" I began. They both looked up immediately. They had been crying. Dad was by my side almost instantly giving me some water to sip. "I'm here. I'm okay," I struggled to tell them.
"Bella, why didn't you tell me about the stomach pain?" Charlie looked so sad.
"It's nothing. Just my period, Dad," I told him as I shot a glare at Jacob.
"Bella, you've been out for four days… Jacob told the doctors you had been having pain in your stomach and they ran some tests… Bella, I…" Charlie looked down into his hands. Tears were streaking his face again.
"What?! What is it?!" I shouted causing tears to form in my own eyes.
"Cancer, Bells…" Jacob spoke somberly. Charlie's face twisted at those words. He was sobbing violently now.
"No, it can't be… I'm only 18. I'm too young to die," I, too, was sobbing violently.
A nurse came in to check my vitals at this point. She told me that my new doctor would be in momentarily to talk to me, and me alone. She escorted Charlie and Jacob out of the room. This can't be happening, I thought. There was a knock on the door.
"Bella," a magical voice called out as one of my favorite people entered the room.
"Carlisle?" I asked in shock. Tears were still flowing from my face as I reached out to hug him. He gently hugged me and took a seat on the bed. "What are you doing here?"
"Your father sent for me… I would have come on my own once I got update on you… I told the staff here to inform me immediately if you were ever admitted here…" Carlisle began.
"The others?" I asked.
"No one knows anything," he informed me.
"How is everyone?" I asked before realizing I may not want to hear what he has to tell me.
"Everyone is well. We all miss you terribly, though…"
"Ed…" I couldn't let the rest of his name roll off of my tongue.
"Edward hasn't been home very much the past few months. The last we heard he was sight seeing in Europe… I can't tell any of them that I'm here, Bella. I shouldn't even be here now. We all promised Edward that we would leave you alone and in peace… But when I got the phone call from Charlie, I couldn't ignore it…"
"Am I dying?" I asked bluntly.
"I'm afraid it looks that way. Pancreatic cancer is very dangerous. Very few survive. In Europe, they've been doing trials with some organic herbs… Most of the results are positive… If you'll allow me, I think I could help you better than any of the doctors around here and at the very least make the time you have more comfortable…" Carlisle looked almost as upset as my father.
"Of course I want you as my doctor," I smiled. "I have two conditions though."
Carlisle appeared nervous but nodded anyway.
"First, I don't want any of them to know anything. If Edward stays away, I know it'll be easier for you so he can't read your mind… And second, if it gets down to my last days… I want to be changed."
Before Carlisle could agree his phone began ringing. He looked down at the caller id and quickly answered it.
"Alice…" Carlisle began. My heart leapt into my throat at the mention of my former best friend's name. I couldn't hear the conversation, but watched intently as Carlisle quickly snapped the phone closed. I looked at him questioningly.
"Alice saw my decision to change you… She's on her way to be here. She won't tell anyone else," Carlisle took a seat next to the bed. I nodded, I couldn't help but be excited that my best friend would be here through this.
"I've missed you all, so much," I breathed as Carlisle took my blood pressure.
"We've missed you as well, more than you can possibly imagine," Carlisle smiled at me as a soft knock interrupted us. My dad peaked in.
"May I come in?" Charlie asked.
"Sure," Carlisle agreed as he pulled up a chair for Charlie.
"Have we decided anything?" Charlie asked nervously.
"I'm going to tend to Bella and she has agreed to be a part of the study in Europe… It's the best chance we have," Carlisle informed my dad. Dad only nodded and looked away.
"I think of Bella as my own daughter, you must know I will do everything in my power to help her," Carlisle was looking at Charlie with such seriousness. I chuckled to myself knowing that more than likely I would be made into a vampire before the year was over.
"Knock, knock!" A beautiful voice chimed through the room as the door opened revealing my former best friend, Alice. I couldn't help but smile. She looked as gorgeous as ever. She brought a vase of flowers to my bedside table.
"Sunflowers… I know how much you love the sun," Alice grinned.
"Charlie, could I talk to you privately in the hall?" Carlisle asked, giving me and Alice the privacy we both longed for. Charlie nodded and followed Carlisle out of the room.
"Geez, why the long faces, it's like someone's dying…" Alice joked.
"I am," I whispered. "Couldn't you see that in your mind?"
"N-n-no," Alice stuttered. She looked completely taken aback. "I only saw that Carlisle decided to change you. I thought he was doing it for Edward. To make Edward happy." Her hand flew over her mouth.
"He's not happy?" I asked. Alice took my hand and sat on the edge of the bed.
"He wasn't at first… But then he left, I haven't seen him in months. Occasionally I get a vision of him and I see a smile on his face…" Alice looked as if there were more she wasn't telling me.
"Go on, really. I'm fine," I prompted her.
"He's been spending a lot of time with Tanya… Like you are spending time with Jacob, ya know?"
"I'm glad he's happy," I did my best to force a smile on my face.
"I've missed you so much. I was so angry that Edward wouldn't let me tell you goodbye. I shouldn't even be here now…" Alice admitted. Alice's face went blank. I knew from experience that she was seeing something. She smiled. "They'll all be so happy, Bella!"
"Who will? What are you talking about?" I asked nervously.
"Charlie just agreed to let me and Carlisle take you to Europe for the experimental drugs… You're actually coming with us to our home in Alaska…" Alice's grin grew.
"Are you sure it's safe? I mean will Jasper be okay?" I asked nervously.
"Jasper feels really bad about your birthday, but to be honest Bella, your blood doesn't smell as good anymore…"
"How come?" I asked.
"The cancer is taking control of your body. I can smell it growing stronger. Your blood smells completely different. Like it's not even you."
"Oh. Alice…" I began.
"He won't be around. I can't see him coming back. We'll all do our best to block him from our thoughts… It will be really hard and I can't make any promises…"
"But you'll give me advance warning if he does decide to come back?" I asked. Alice nodded and reached over to hug me.
Three days later I was packed and off to Alaska to be with the Cullens while I went through treatment with Carlisle. Their home in Alaska looked almost identical to their home in Forks. It startled me, when I first saw it. I thought I may have a panic attack. Emmett and Esme were waiting for us outside when we pulled up. Both had huge grins spread across their faces. My door was open in no time and I was scooped up in Emmett's arms being carried inside.
"I can walk, you know," I playfully punched him in the arm.
"But your sick, you shouldn't have to," Emmett grinned as he gently laid me on the couch. I noticed Jasper hanging around the back of the room. I smiled at him. He was in front of me in an instant.
"Hey Jasper! I've missed you," I smiled. He smiled back.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. Everything was my fault. I can control it now, I swear," Jasper promised.
"It's okay. Everything is okay," I told him.
"She doesn't smell the same at all," Rosalie grinned as she floated into the room behind Alice, Carlisle and Esme.
"That's a good thing?" I asked.
"You actually kind of stink now," Rosalie laughed. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be mean but I decided to laugh with her.
"Damn, cancer," I joked. Rosalie's face went white as did the others. I looked at them questioningly.
"They didn't know," Carlisle assured me. "I kept my word."
"Don't worry. I'll be like you in no time. Fit as a fiddle," I laughed.
"It's not funny," Emmett spat as he hit his arm on the coffee table busting it into a million pieces.
"I never wanted you to have cancer, Bella," Rosalie whispered.
"Listen, please. I will be fine. Whether Carlisle can cure me or I become one of you… I just need you all to do your best to block me out of your mind. I don't know what will happen if he were to find out I was here. He hates me, so he would probably make me leave. If that happens then I will die. I'm begging you."
All six faces nodded in agreement.
"He doesn't hate you, you know," Emmett spoke up.
"Em-" Esme interrupted.
"She should know the truth," Carlisle prompted.
"Our brother still loves you very much," Rosalie began. "This would kill him if he knew you were so sick."
"If he loved me so much why did he leave?" I asked slightly annoyed.
"He wanted to keep you safe," Jasper spoke up softly.
I knew that it was in Edward's makeup to continue protecting me but I seriously doubt that he would lie to me and tell me he didn't want me anymore when he really did. I would know if he was lying and I just didn't feel like he lied.
"I would rather not talk about him anymore, if you don't mind…" I sighed.
"You should get some rest Bella, I'll come start your blood work in a few hours," Carlisle began. The idea of my blood being drawn in a home full of vampires made me uneasy. I guess the look on my face gave me away because they all started laughing.
"Really Bella, your blood smells absolutely horrid right now. You're safe with us, I promise," Jasper laughed. I blushed as Emmett swooped me up in his arms and carried me upstairs. The room was on the second level, a part of the Cullen's home I had never explored. The room had a giant, king-size bed and a flat screen tv. The room was beautiful.
"This is your room, Bella," Alice smiled. "Esme fixed it up for you last night."
"Wow, this is amazing," I smiled but the smile became lost when I noticed all the medical equipment in the corner of the room. I felt a wave of calm rush over me and knew Jasper was close by.
"Better than the Forks Hospital any day," I laughed but no one laughed with me.
"Get some rest Bella. I will be back in a little while," Carlisle cooed softly as the door was shut and I was left in this massive room, all alone. I plopped down on the bed and noticed a framed picture on the nightstand by my bed. I had never seen this picture before but I loved it. It was me and Edward at prom. We looked beautiful together. Tears began rolling down my face as I let my head hit the pillow. Sleep washed over me.
A few hours later I woke with a gasp, startled from a nightmare. Rosalie was sitting in a chair by my bed reading a magazine. She looked up from the article she was reading.
"You okay?" She asked worried. This new attitude Rosalie had towards me was startling.
"Yeah, I just had a nightmare…"
"Want to talk about it?" Rosalie asked as she closed the magazine and moved over to the bed.
"I was watching my own funeral," I admitted. "He showed up and looked so upset, like it was killing him."
"Bella, I know we've never been close but I'm hoping that will change while you're here… Edward is a dumb ass. He's my brother and I love him but he really made a huge mistake when he left you."
"He's with Tanya now… She makes him happy. Alice told me," I told Rosalie as I gazed at the picture on my night stand.
"He's only with her because he feels he can't be with you…" Rosalie was being very kind to me. More kind than I ever imagined she could be. There was a tap on the door and Carlisle peaked around the door. I motioned for him to come in. Emmett and Alice were behind him. Alice jumped on the bed to sit beside me. Emmett stood over Rosalie as Carlisle carted some of the medical equipment near my bed.
"I'm going to take your blood pressure and draw that blood. We'll start the treatment tomorrow morning," Carlisle informed me.
"Oh, no!" Alice gasped.
"What?!" I demanded. Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie were all staring at her nervously.
"Nothing… Um, my favorite store is being closed down," Alice chuckled. Emmett tossed a pillow at her.
"You scared me!" Emmett admitted.
"Hey Rose, Em… We should give Bella some privacy for this…" Alice encouraged as she floated out the door, Emmett and Rosalie right on her heels.
"Is everything okay?" I asked Carlisle as he took my blood pressure. He seemed to be frowning.
"I should be asking you…" Carlisle began as he wrote some notes on his legal pad. "You should have told me the pain in your stomach was bothering you again. I have pain medication to make it go away."
"I've felt worse pain," I sighed.
"Bella, please let me give you something to ease the pain," Carlisle begged. "Doctor's orders." I nodded and took the pills he placed into my hands.
A few minutes later, Carlisle was gone. I was no longer tired and couldn't find anything good to watch on tv. I decided to explore the house further. I crept out of my room and around the corner to the back staircase that lead to the third and fourth floors. I knew his room was on the third floor. The door wasn't closed completely so I peeked through the crack. His room was identical to the one in Forks. I pushed the door open and snuck in, closing it behind me. There was a blue shirt crumpled in a ball on his bed. I picked it up and smelt it. It still smelled like him. I sat down on the couch and began sobbing. It was only a few seconds later that the door was pushed open and Emmett was by my side.
"I'm sorry," I cried.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be sorry. I promised to watch you while the others went to hunt. I should have heard you climbing the stairs… Bella, why do you do this to yourself?" Emmett asked curiously as he took the shirt from my hands and laid it out on the couch.
"I… just… miss him," I cried.
"Bella, he'll be back. I know he will," Emmett warned me.
"Not for me… To be with you guys again," I sobbed as Emmett wrapped his arm around my back pulling me closer to console me.
"You are going to be one of us, too… You'll be part of the family," Emmett grinned.
I forced a smile on my face. I was getting really good at pretending to be alright.
"Come on let's get you back to bed… I can bring the x-box in and keep you company if you like…" Emmett suggested.
"Sure," I agreed as I stood up and lead us out of the room. In no time, Emmett was in my room plugging in the x-box and making jokes about how he would cream me at whichever game he had in at the moment. The night was fun, and the games kept my mind occupied until I finally went to sleep for the rest of the night.