A/N: I've been thinking of this for a while and I just sort of threw it together, hope it's alright. It's a bit sad but it explains why Ianto wasn't there when Jack woke up
Spoilers: Season One End Of Days
Disclaimer: These magnificant men are the creation of Russell T Davies
Captain Jack Harkness lay in bed that night, relieved. He stared up toward the ceiling of his lovers apartment. Jack turned his head slightly to look at Ianto who lay unable to sleep in Jack's arms.
"Are you alright?" He asked tenderly, Ianto laughed a little.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?"
"No, I'm fine, but you aren't yourself, you're not my normal Ianto." He told him, Ianto smiled a little at the phrase my Ianto "What's wrong?"
"I'm…I don't know" Ianto couldn't find his vocabulary " I'm just a little shaken, that's all."
"By what?" Jack pulled him closer wrapping his arms protectively around his waist, Ianto did the same resting his head and arm on Jack's chest.
"Everything, the last couple of days, you, us, Lisa." Ianto shook his head confused
"Can I ask...?" Jack trailed off
"What?" Ianto looked up at him.
"please don't be offended but…when I woke up Gwen was there." He trailed off again
"But I wasn't and you want to know why." Jack nodded at him "I… I couldn't do it Jack, I'd follow you into the dark, I happily walk with you into anything, but you weren't there to hold my hand." A tear ran down his cheek and onto Jacks shirt "and I thought you never would be. If you were gone, if I really had to let you go, then I had to do that I couldn't sit next to you and wait, because I wouldn't have been able to go on afterwards, if you didn't come back. I've lost so many people Jack, after a while you just learn to move on, because you have to. Because if you don't, you're stuck, I love you but I wouldn't be able to do that." Ianto finished leaning up to look at Jack who gently placed his hand on his chin, leaning in to kiss him very gently just once.
"I never thought you didn't love me, not once, I was in the dark, all that time I was there it was you that kept me from giving up, you kept me fighting with the dark." He told Ianto who was now drifting into sleep, the sound of Jack's voice lulling him slowly to sleep.
"Jack" Ianto said quitely
"when I die" he started, making Jack cringe " When I die Jack I want you to move on, I want you to let go…I want you to kiss me one last time…and tell me goodbye. Then I want you to find someone else, someone who can make your coffee and wake you up in the mornings, someone who will love you even if you don't love them. No moping, no crying, just, just a goodbye and then just…walk away"
"Ok" Jack answered quietly "but I'm not going to let that happen any time soon."
"I need you to promise me you'll do that for me just because you love me, you have to promise me" He finished looking up at Jack again
"I promise Ianto. I love you" He said as tears rolled down his cheeks, Ianto looked up at him wiping his tears away gently
"Until then." He kissed Jack who still had tears down his cheeks.