Ballad of Puddlejumper One
by Bil!

Disclaimer: If this is anything to go by, it's probably a good thing the show doesn't belong to me.

A/N: If you imagine everybody as teenagers this will make more sense. Not a lot of sense, but more. (I am commonly considered to be loopier than Window of Opportunity.)

A/N2: After browsing an online rhyming dictionary I have discovered that my idea of a rhyme may not be yours, because there's a good chance you're American and I absolutely am not. For example, if you think 'graph' should rhyme with 'laugh' then we're not speaking the same language. Writing it, yes, but not speaking it :) I thought that was interesting. Globalisation (read: Americanisation) isn't as thorough as people fear! And while I'm on the subject, Rodney's the only one who says it correctly: it is definitely a ZedPM ;)

Have you heard the story of the Pegasus race,
One fine sunny day in the blackness of space,
When Wraith Dart and Puddlejumper went head to head
For story and glory unlimited.

John-boy pulls up, says "Let's go for a ride,"
And Teyla immediately jumps on inside;
Ronan and Rodney are ready to go—
That only leaves Aidan, who'll never say no.

Cruising through town and who do they see
But Stevie and Michael in a W-D
With Queenie between them, a sneer on her face—
Says Stevie to John "C'mon, let's race.

First to Atlantis is the one who'll win—
Unless you're too scared in that hunk of tin."
Sneering and jeering, all three of them laugh:
"As if you can win with that stupid craft!"

And okay, so they didn't come out to race
But the Wraith gang's sneering and they've gotta save face,
So the cars are lined up and ready to go:
The light turns green and they're off down the road!

There's nothing to choose between Jumper and Dart,
Neither Stevie nor John can get them apart;
The Dart's got the speed but the Jumper's got moves,
One leads, then the other, there's no win or lose.

The Dart has to stop 'cause it's run out of fuel
And the Jumper crew thinks they've got this one down cool,
But the streets aren't familiar, they're totally lost
And worrying over the time it'll cost.

So they stop for directions from a girl they don't know
Who says "Hi, I'm Lizzy, where d'you want to go?
Sure, Atlantis is where I was headed today;
Give me a ride and I'll show you the way."

So she sits in the front between Ronan and John,
With a surge of the motor the Jumper speeds on.
Lizzy's got a route that Steve doesn't know
So despite the delay they're still in with a show.

With Atlantis in sight the Dart catches them up
And it looks like the Jumper team's plain outta luck:
The Dart's got the speed so it should have them beat
But John-boy refuses to admit their defeat.

He says "Hang on tight!" and changes down gear
(The Jumper's going faster than it's gone in years),
Lizzy closes her eyes, Aidan starts to pray,
But John knows what he's doing and proves it today:

With the craziest driving the world's ever seen
He does the impossible and beats the Wraith team!
And that's the story of how Atlantis was won
And the Wraith were defeated by Puddlejumper One.