This is written in the style of the 50 themes, 1 sentence each challenge on livejournal. They are all Tara/Jax pre-series.
Sitting alone in her dorm room she pulls his sweatshirt around her and closes her eyes and at least in her mind it still smells of leather, cigarettes, and gasoline.
It takes a few years after she leaves Charming to stop reaching up for leather on shoulders and hair she could tangle her fingers into everytime lips touch hers.
His hands brush up under her shirt and Jax asks her how he is supposed to stop touching her with skin as soft as hers and Tara laughs and tells him she doesn't think that is a problem for her.
He holds her hand as the needle and ink enter her skin and she has to keep reminding herself that it's worth it, because all she ever wants to be is his.
In the effort of trying something new she manages to convince him to take her to someplace fancy in the city, but the look on his face when they get their food has her promising him they can stop at a diner on the way home.
Her shirt rode up when she bent over to pick up her pencil in 1st period and the rumors haven't stopped swirling about the brand on her back and it's all Tara can do not to listen.
When she's angry with him she calls him Jackson, but all it does is make him smile and how can she really be mad at him when he looks like that.
His fingers skate down her sides and his silky strands caress her skin as he kisses his way down her stomach.
At fifteen she didn't think about the consequences of being with someone that was SAMCRO, but at 18 Tara isn't sure she can visit him in prison and she knows she can't bury him.
She wasn't his first, but sometimes he tells her that she is the last.
She traces the new lines on his back and she knows he couldn't be prouder.
The acceptance letter comes in the mail and really she should jump for joy and she would if it didn't feel like her knees were gonna fall out from under her.
She knows that she couldn't stay in Charming and that college is a great opportunity, but that doesn't explain why she wakes up with red, puffy eyes and a wet pillow every morning.
She clings a little tighter on the curves, but she always hopes he doesn't slow down.
The first time she got on his bike she was terrified, but it didn't take long before the wind rushing past them and the rumble from the bike drowned out all her fears.
He walks out of the police station and as she rushes up to hug him, Tara reminds herself to at least be a little angry with him if not for getting arrested, than at least for missing their date.
She's leaning against his chest as he laughs with Opie and at that moment she hopes the darkness that surrounds SAMCRO will be kept at bay for a little longer.
Maybe it's wrong, but when they walk down the hall and Jax has his hand on the small of her back she can't help but revel in the looks the other girls send their way.
Her date is a fellow pre-med student and when he reaches across the table for her hand she starts to miss the calluses and grease under the nails from long hours working on a bike.
It's metallic and coppery as she kisses him but she doesn't care, because while he has a split lip and two black eyes it could have been so much worse.
He's standing in front of her telling her has to go for a couple days and he can't tell her why and it's times like these that Tara wonders what would happen if she asked him to choose… and not once has she ever been sure that she would win.
She remembers being seventeen watching Jax pay the man in the tattoo parlour extra not to ask for ID and there was no question in her mind that she wanted to be marked as his… now at 27 Tara's pretty sure she wasn't wrong.
It's her first gunshot victim in the ER and it takes Tara a second to shake the image of blood-soaked flannel and blue eyes clenched in pain.
Jax is standing in front of her safe and sound, but her skin is still cold and clammy and the nauseous feeling in her stomach won't go away and Tara knows she will never forget how she felt when she saw the fear in Opie's eyes.
At night, when sleep just won't come, Tara tries to recall the rumble of the bike, him laughing with Opie, the things he whispered in her ear and it's better than any lullaby.
It's been almost ten years, but he is still the leading man in all her dreams.
Looking around her first apartment in Chicago Tara tries to quiet the voice in her head that reminds her of strong arms, pale strands, and the wind rushing past her face.
He looks at her with stormy eyes and she tries to explain that he can come too, and it's after Jax starts shaking his head sadly that Tara isn't sure if she wouldn't rather have the anger.
The relief from her torment finally comes, but as she holds the test she bought three days ago in a drugstore two towns over, her hand starts to shake.
He's asleep beside her, one arm thrown across her middle, and as she watches the sky light up Tara hopes the turmoil outside won't one day rip them apart.
At 25 she wants to finally let go and move on, but that's hard to do when at the same time she hopes he hasn't found anyone else, and yeah, Tara knows what kind of person that makes her.
She knows he never strayed from her, even though his opportunities were numerous, and in some of her dark moments it isn't hard to imagine the girls that lined up as soon as she rode out of town.
She's watching an aerial map of Charming and while she knows that she can't actually see him, Tara can still imagine his bike winding through those streets.
He has her whole heart and she kinda wishes that maybe he could have given at least a piece of it back, because now she has nothing left to give.
As Tara cowers in her bedroom with the newly installed deadbolts firmly locked, she wonders how she missed the darkness in Kohn's eyes and the creepiness of his smile.
To be honest, Tara isn't sure that anything all that innocent could come from Gemma and it wouldn't really matter anyway because SAMCRO would take what's left.
The hospital in Charming has offered her the resident position and she starts to feel like she can breathe again…. but then the thought of seeing Jax steals the breath right back.
She's 18 and she can't quite pinpoint when the doubts started rolling in, but she knows the bright, carefree days are gone.
She isn't afraid of flying, but as the plane climbs higher and higher, Tara ducks into her seat further and further and closes her eyes tighter and tighter.
The only thing between her and the dirt is his t-shirt and Jax is moving above her and, yeah, Tara could stay here forever.
She isn't sure what she believes in, but no matter what he does for the Club she knows he doesn't belong anywhere that has the words "eternal suffering" associated with it.
It's mercilessly hot in August, but everytime Tara complains Jax is quick to remind her that he fully supports removing clothes…. in the interest of staying cool of course.
He rolls over next to her and the moonlight shines over his back and she can't help the fear that creeps up her spine everytime she thinks about what that ink means.
At first, Tara stays in the shallows but it doesn't take long for Jax to beckon her out to deeper water with a wicked grin and a promise that no one will see.
Her dad doesn't trust a boy with what he calls a woman's haircut, but Tara can't imagine not running her fingers through those golden strands.
Tara knows that no one would ever call, but she likes to think that if something ever happened to him, something inside her would have to know that he is gone.
AN: This is the first piece of fanfiction I have ever written and I love SOA and there is just not enough fic out there for it. I know the structure is a little hard to get used to, but I hope you enjoyed.