Disclaimer: Don't own Fruits Basket.
Alien Demon: So I was having trouble sleeping and decided to write another Fruits Basket fic. This time it's a one shot, though I do feel like there could be a continuation, but we'll see. Anyways! I hope you enjoy and remember, reviews are always appreciated, just no flames.
"You are a fool, Kyo, to ever think that there is a chance for you to ever feel love or happiness. You are the cat, the most disgusting and hated creature of all. Tell me, how could someone ever love you if your own mother couldn't?" Akito laughed, amusement ringing out clearly.
There's a saying that goes 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.' Everyone is taught that as a child, but I have never heard something as false as that saying. Each word that spilt from Akito's mouth was like another stab to my soul, killing it just a little more. I felt so defenseless against him, like I always did. I wanted more than anything to speak out against him, tell him that it was possible for me to love, for me to feel happiness! Wasn't that what I felt every time I looked at her? But it would be a mistake to open my mouth.
He finally calmed himself after a minute. He took a few steps closer, his fingers gently brushing against my cheek in mock kindness. I wanted so badly to take that step back than feel such a cold, careless touch against my flesh.
"You are such a pathetic being. You're not even worthy of that whore. She only feels pity for you. Why else would she even show something as horrid as you even a shred of kindness? Or maybe… just maybe she fears you, like your mother did, and figures that by being nice, you won't try to kill her. But being around you it's no wonder that every one craves for death," He said with that sickeningly sweet tone.
I couldn't hold back, not when he was obviously lying. He didn't know her as well as I did. She would never pity or fear me. She accepted me with her whole being. Didn't she? Somehow, I wasn't sure anymore. But I knew I would rather believe that lie than the possible truth that man spewed.
"You're wrong about her, Akito. Tohru is NOT a whore nor would she ever pity or fear me. She can and does love me and would never leave my side, no matter what happens to me. I can feel love and I can be happy!" I tried to keep calm, but I only ended up shouting. At least he could hear me, hear the anger I was feeling. But I knew that he could see that I was becoming uncertain. Akito proved it when he laughed that chilling laugh of his.
"You truly are stupid. But I didn't expect you to be that conceited. I'm sure you've seen the way she looks at Yuki, sees him as a true human compared to you. How can you feel happiness and love when you've never felt such emotions? You aren't allowed to; no one gave you any permission. I won't grant the cat that luxury." Akito tilted his head to the side, a smirk growing on his thin lips, knowing that he was gaining the upper hand once again. "Even if you were able to feel such things as love and happiness, you would only break her. If you care for her as much as you claim, than you should just give her away, free her from her imprisonment with you…"
I didn't want to hear anymore. How was he able to instill such hatred and pain within me? How was he able to break me with words I knew were lies? Was it because they held some sense of truth? I just didn't know anymore. I didn't want to hear anymore.
"What did you want to see me for?" There had to be some other reason for my being here than for Akito to torture me
"It looks as though the cat might actually have something in that head of his. You'll be graduating next week… You haven't forgotten our little deal, have you Kyo?" He turned away and walked towards the door leading to his own private gardens. He dully opened the door, allowing the warm breeze to flow into the room.
I curled my hands into tight fists, my short nails cutting into my palms. I never did manage to beat Yuki at anything thus far.
"There's still time. I can beat him… I will beat hi-"
"You truly are stupid. Never once has the cat ever been able to beat the rat. It's impossible. It has never happened, and never will…" Once again he laughed as he turned back around to face me. I looked away, not being able to stand looking at his face.
"I will beat him and I will win my freedom. And when I do, I'm going to move far away from here and take Tohru with me… I will not lose to you or Yuki…" I knew there was only false hope, that my plans would only be broken in the end. I would be confined for the rest of my life.
"Your room, Kyo, is already set up. I will be there to watch the ceremony. Once finished, I will have you taken there… You are dismissed. I can't stand being around you any longer."
That conversation still rang clearly in my memory, despite the fact four days had already passed since. I still hadn't found a way to defeat Yuki. But I knew I would never be able to. It was inevitable. I stared up at the night sky, not being able to find any comfort in the stars tonight. There wasn't even any solace in the image of Tohru's face, flashing across my mind. Only pain was present.
It was strange to think that only a few days ago, I had meaning in my life. I had something to live for, to look forward to. I was going to confess, make her mine. I could see a future with her, one full of happiness. But since that talk, I realized how pointless those dreams were. I realized that there was no way she could love me without it growing from pity. Maybe she was better suited with Yuki. He had everything he could offer. He could make her happy, take care of her… Yuki could wipe her tears, give her the proper comfort.
But why would she be sad? What reason would she have to cry? I would no longer be there to give her any sorrow or to hurt her… I would be erased from her life. I understood.
False hope was better than no hope, wasn't it? Maybe, just maybe she did fell something. Maybe there was something… But it would forever be left undiscovered in three days. It would be senseless and selfish to dare confess to her. She truly was better with Yuki. Even in theories and dreams, he could still beat me…
I sat up, now looking towards the ground. Maybe there was a way to beat him and gain my freedom at the same time. There was something I could do that would be left impossible for him. While he can only ever see what it was she exposed physically, I could see what it was she hid from the world. I could be her light in her darkest hours. I could always watch over her and see those small, genuine smiles that made life worth living…
I could be her guardian.
I knew what I needed to do, what it was I wanted. I walked to the side of the roof where Tohru placed the ladder from that first night she came up and sat talking with me. I quietly made my way down and headed into the house. I crept up the stairs, my footsteps nearly silent. It didn't take long before I reached my destination. Slipping open her door, I walked in to the room where everything started. Now wasn't the time to think of memories.
I don't know how long I stood there, watching her sleeping so peacefully, but I knew I shouldn't be wasting any more time standing over her. I carefully reached out to her face and stroked the hair away from her face before bending down and placing a small, but firm kiss on her lips. Pulling away felt like murder, but it wouldn't be long before she awoke.
"I always did love you, Tohru. Just know that after I'm gone, I'll still always be here with you, watching you. So be sure to always smile. Don't feel any sorrow. Everything will be okay, I promise…" I whispered. She made a small noise, almost sounding like a mumbled yes. I gave her one small peck on her forehead before turning away and making my way to my room.
I didn't pause once as I walked over to my desk and opened the middle drawer on the left hand side. Beneath all the papers, books, and folders, deep in the back was a bottle of sleeping pills. It was still full, since I only had the rare nightmare once or twice a month and needed an aid to help me sleep. I undid the cap and poured out a small handful of the white pills and popped them in my mouth two at a time. I hurriedly made it to my futon and crawled under the covers.
A small smile made it onto my lips. Yuki would never be able to comfort her the way I could. Nor could he see everything she hid from us all. I could now always watch over her.
I closed my eyes as one last memory played for me:
I was little the first time I ever saw her, sitting there by herself as she waited for her mother to return home from work. She looked so sad and alone, much like how I felt. Maybe that was the whole reason I made that promise to look after her. I never wanted her to look that way again. I wanted to always see her smiling, like in the picture her mother showed me. I wanted to protect… watch over her forever.
Maybe she was my meaning, the point of my existence.
To always watch over Tohru…