A/N Post Lunacy One-shot
"I'm married," Elliot had said.
"Never stopped me."
Elliot had never been more confused than he was now. He'd looked up to Dick, idolized him. Now he only knew one thing; that he didn't know anything at all. Well…that, and he no longer wanted to be anything like Dick. He wanted nothing to do with the space program, he wanted nothing to do with cheating on his wife.
Well…that wasn't entirely true. He and Kathy had been staying together simply for the kids. She'd been sleeping with other men, he knew. He just hadn't figured out what to do about it yet. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about doing the same. Then Dick had given Olivia that look and he felt his blood starting to boil. And still he'd said simply, "I'm married." Not "I'm not interested," but that he was married.
Even Dick, worthless piece of crap that he was, got something right. That was being able to tell what Elliot felt for Olivia. Dick could tell, hell, the whole world could probably tell. But…Dick wanted Olivia. As horrible as it was…it kind of made Elliot want her less.
As soon as he saw her walk up in that silky blue dress, he felt horrible. He wanted nothing more than to wring his own neck in shame. She was amazing, breathtaking, and the most compassionate woman in the world. She walked up to him, a confused look on her beautiful features.
"Elliot? Is everything ok?" she asked, concern replacing her confusion. Concern for him.
Everything collapsed. Dick…Liv…Kathy…Liv. His hero was a murdering, pathetic, horny has-been. His wife hated him and was cheating on him with every man within reach. Liv…he loved Liv. Flat out loved her. And she'd come so close to being out with Dick. He shuddered at the thought. If Liv had pissed him off…
"Elliot, what happened?" she asked, reaching an arm out to him. He pulled her to him, fast and hard. He wrapped his arms around her and clung as if she was his last lifeline. Maybe she was.
"We gotta bring him in," he said, voice lost.
"Why?" Olivia asked. She reached up and touched the side of his face.
"He killed her, he killed Marga," Elliot realized he was shaking slightly and fought to get that under control.
"Why?" her soft voice entered his thoughts.
"To get ahead," Elliot said curtly. "Dinner's off." Olivia looked at Dick in the back of Elliot's car.
"Not a problem," she said, a look of disgust clouding her face. "I'll meet you at the house."
"Liv, you don't have to come," Elliot mumbled. Olivia grabbed him arm before he could walk away.
"El, I'm going." If possible, he loved her more.
Elliot sat, head in his hands, sitting on one of the cots in the cribs. This was definitely not his day. Olivia walked in and sat next to him silently.
"They finished booking Dick," she said softly. Elliot nodded mutely. "Are you feeling better?" she asked tentatively. Elliot shook his head, still in silence. After a few minutes of sitting like that, Elliot spoke, hands still covering his face.
"Kathy called. She's using what happened today at the precinct as a reason to force through divorce papers again. She says Dickie was in danger. Which he was," Elliot finished miserably.
"El," she said resting her hand on his back. "It's not your fault. No one could have predicted what happened."
"I know," he said finally, lifting up his face to stare at her. "I know." Olivia broke the careful contact they usually had and pulled him to her, resting her chin on his head. He clung to her so much more desperately than earlier.
"You're all I have," he whispered. "You're all I can't break. You're all I haven't messed up yet…"
"You could never break me, El," she said, holding him as if she didn't, he would disappear.
He pulled away, still clinging to her hand. He regarded her, really looked at her. She was the only one who ever put up with his Elliot-moods without killing him. Kathy couldn't do that, his coworkers definitely couldn't. His eyes bored holes in hers.
"It doesn't matter," he finally said, coming to a conclusion.
"What doesn't matter?"
"Anything, everything," he said. "It's just you Liv. It's always been you."