Philosophy of Space and Time
Time is always running out for him.
It will be today, he wonders every morning when he's awake, even so he's here and the bomb still ticking.
Miroku is not certain why he seeks her out. When he leans close to her, he hears no heartbeat, no breath, just the swish of her robes against wind. Kikyou is not bound by the same rules of time and space.
He wants desperately to live, don't they all? Yet standing next to her, he imagines what it's like not to exist. Maybe he wants to practise for the real thing. Just so it's perfect. Truly, he's afraid of being judged when it matters.
The first time he kisses her, she kisses him back. Her lips are cold (he expected that) but her hand pressed against his heart burns him through his clothes. Actually, it's his heart that burns her hand.
He's the one who pulls back to catch his breath. Gasping for air, and he gropes her thigh. He's not quite aroused, almost, but there's also a sick feeling like acid churning in his stomach. He hopes he won't throw up in her mouth.
And he's not quite sure if she feels anything because he doesn't ask her and she might not answer if he did. She's a perfect vessel for his sins.
Miroku wants to know, if living is this painful why he fears dying so much. When he asks it out loud, she's quick to retort. "Isn't it the imminence of death that makes your life so miserable?" She's (almost) scornful, and he not quite feels pathetic when there's nothing to leave behind.
Today he meets a lovely young virgin on the road. An open-handed slap against his cheek and a lump on his crown, it's too easy to pretend things are normal.
Later, he tries asking her. "Bear my child?"
Kikyou's lived irony so it's not lost on her. "Alright," she lies and he smiles automatically because he thinks he heard her joke, only her face is impassive and cold like usual.
"Excruciatingly beautiful," Kikyou tells him. "That's how I imagine your death will be like."
Those were her parting words and he wants to know what her death was like, oh wait, he thinks he already knows.
The ticking stops and the race is lost.
All of his regrets, he bequeaths to her, and she seals them tightly inside of her carefully, every single one in its own compartment.