Fairly Odd High # 2: Pet sitting Blues
"Class, before we leave for our three day weekend." Mr. Newt, Wanda's science teacher said to the class. The class looked up from there constellation notes in their notebooks, and looked at the teacher. There was two minutes left on the clock. "I've got a riddle for you all." The teacher went to his whiteboard; he passed the class's pet hamster, Isaac. Mr. Newt didn't like to see his pets caged up, so Isaac was free out on the front counter. He was eating hamster food in his bowl. Mr. Newt grabbed a brown whiteboard marker.
"Now class, you may not get this, so pay attention here." The class put down their pencils, and sat up straight to hear his riddle.
"Now I heard this joke from Mrs. Farmington, one of the math teachers. So here goes! He looked at the class. Now somebody was being interviewed, and the manager asked if he could draw nine without using any words." Mr. Newt drew three trees on the whiteboard, and then looked back at his class. "Now when he said he was done, the manager looked at it and asked "How is that nine?"" The class just looked puzzled at each other. "And he said…" He pointed at the three trees with his marker. "Tree plus tree plus tree equals nine, get it?" There were giggles from the class. "Now the manager asked him to come up with the sum of 99, and he did…" He shaded the tree's trunks with his marker. He looked back at his class when done. "The manager looked at it and asked, "How is that 99?" Mr. Newt again pointed at the trees, "Dirty tree plus dirty tree plus dirty tree equals 99." The class giggled as the bell rang. The class got up and packed up.
"Alright class." Mr. Newt said as he put the cap back onto his marker. "See you all Monday, my scientists in training."
Ass Wanda was about to leave with her backpack, Mr. Newt called her up front. Wanda went to him as everybody was leaving.
"Yes Mr. Newt?" Wanda asked her teacher.
"Wanda." He told her. "I forgot to ask the class who will take Isaac for the weekend. Since you're the one left, and my number one pupil, will you be interested in taking Isaac home with you?" Wanda hesitated.
"Well my sister will kill me if she sees Isaac nibbling on her stuff…"
"Wanda please, I can't take Isaac to my house, I got too munch stuff as it is and my wife won't like a smelly rodent intruding our house."
"Well Blonda will be mad, but I'll do it!"
"Excellent!" Wanda picked up Isaac and held him to her chest.
"Well, bye Wanda!" He waved at the hamster in Wanda's arms. "Bye Isaac buddy, see you Monday!" Wanda left the room.
"Ooh cuuuuutttttte!" Said Sissy as the girls got ready to leave, grabbing their books out of their lockers. "A hamster! Where'd you get him or her Wanda?"
"Did Mr. Newt let you take Isaac home with you?" Crystal wanted to know. They closed their lockers and headed to Blonda.
"Yes." Wanda answered. "I'll be responsible for Isaac all weekend."
"Lucky!" Sissy said. "I wish my science teacher had class pets, but nooooo, she refuses it. I wonder what's her problem is."
"Maybe because Mrs. Poolings has a pet hair allergy, like she said at the beginning of the year!" Crystal reminded her.
"Oh yeah! Then why doesn't she have snakes or an ant farm? They don't have hair."
"She's afraid of them like you are with snakes."
"Oh yeah, then what about a bird or goldfish?"
"She doesn't want any pets in her class, okay Sissy?"
"Okay, okay, sheech! Can't a fairy sophomore have opinions about a better school environment?"
"Sissy, to you every school should have pets."
"Hey be nice! You know I love animals!"
"If your class had an animal in the class, you won't learn anything!"
"Yes I will!"
"I'll learn that pets need lots of attention no matter what! And the teacher won't give pets the attention they need just by teaching their students everyday for fifty minutes per class of the school day! So, I'll be doing the pets a favor, by treating them with respect!"
"Okay Blonda, we're here!" Wanda said when they got to her sister, closing her locker and locking it. She was talking to her boyfriend, Chaz.
"So I got two tickets to see You Can't Take it with you at the Futhre at nine tonight, want to come?" Chaz asked Blonda. Chaz was a fairy with red hair and red eyes. He had braces on his teeth.
"Oh Chaz," Blonda told him, taking a ticket from his hand. Then she hugged him. "I love to!"
"Great, so I'll pick you up at eight then, bye!" Then Chaz went away. Blonda sighed heavenly.
"Such a dreamily boy, that Chaz!" Blonda told herself.
"Uh Blonda?" Wanda asked. Blonda was still in a heavenly trance.
"Blonda!" When Blonda didn't respond, Wanda pinched her arm. Blonda yelped and looked at her sister.
"Ow!" She cried. "What the heck was that for?"
"I had to do it." Wanda said. "You were in a love trance again. Besides, I'm ready to go home."
"You know I wanted a show dog." Blonda told her. "But instead I got sunk with you!"
"You're lucky. At least I don't pee on the carpet or on your IMagic Touch like a dog might have done. Now let's go!" Blonda saw Isaac and screamed.
"Oh my gosh! What is that dirty little rodent?"
"This is Isaac." Wanda explained, she held up Isaac for Blonda to see.
"Eeeeew!" Blonda cried. "Get that rotten smelly animal away from me!" Wanda took him back and smelled him, he did smell like dirty gym socks.
"He just needs a bath is all." Wanda told him. "And then Isaac will be good as new in no time!"
"Well just keep him away from me!" She plugged her nose.
"Well that will be kind of complicated, since Isaac will be staying with us the whole weekend."
"Fine, but keep him out of my sight!"
"Hey ladies!" Cosmo greeted them. Peter and Zack were with him. He looked at Isaac in Wanda's arms. "Cool!" He said. "You're taking care of a pet hamster? That's so rat…that's so rat.." Then he sneezed all over them! The girls shrieked.
"Eeaawwwww!" Crystal cried. "Try covering your mouth when you sneeze, okay Cosmo?"
"I can't pet pets with all these germs on me!" Sissy cried. "That's just not right for an animal loving high schooler like me!
"Don't you have any brains whatsoever?! Blonda said, covered in snot. "This is soooo gross, you ruined natirial beauty!"
"Nope!" Zack piped up. "He's is dumber with a lowercase D, but don't we all love cartoon characters with great stupidity?"
""And you got Isaac all covered in snot!" Wanda added, looking at the now snot covered hamster. "Now I need to bathe him extra well!"
"Which you like!" Zack told her.
"Uhhhh sorry!" Cosmo said, whipeing his runny nose. "This cold is taking like forever to get rid of!"
"And in forever, I assume you mean an entire day!" Zack added. "25 straight hours!"
"Exactly buddy." Cosmo told him in a sick tone. "That's exactly what I mean.""Come on Wanda, let's go home before Grossmo coughs up a U.F.O!" Blonda told her sister.
"Right, come on Isaac!" So, she, Isaac, and Blonda all poofed home as Cosmo coughed up a U.F.O!
"OOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Everyone looked in wonder as the door to the U.F.O's door opened.
"Wanda, Blonda, and Isaac will not know what they're missing!" Sissy told Crystal.
"All right Isaac," Wanda told the hamster. "Are you ready for your bath?" She put the hamster in the tub, and rinsed him with soap and water.
"And viola!" Wanda said when she finished. She put him on a stool, wrapped a towel around him and dried him. "Soon you'll be like new in no time!" When done, she took off the towel, revealing a sparkly clean and healthy hamster.
"Perfect job Wanda!" She told herself. "As always!" She took the hamster in her room.
When she was done combing her heir and getting her nightgown on, she picked up the hamster and she began to sing as she got into bed.
"You and me forever fir the entire weekend with you! We'll always be good company, you and me, just you wait and see!" Then she turned off the light and she and the hamster fell asleep"
"Good night Isaac, have good hamster dreams okay?" Then she dozed off with Isaac sleeping on the bed.
The next morning as Isaac still slept, Wanda got out of bed and did her morning routine. As she was combing her hair in her and Blonda's bathroom, Blonda came in.
"Morning sis!" Blonda greeted.
"Mornbing!" Wanda said back, her voice sounding deep. Then she froze with the comb stuck in her hair. What was wrong with her voice?
"Ah sis, is something wrong?" Blonda asked. Wanda just stared at the bathroom mirror.
"Nopeb!" Wanda told her in the deep voice as she continued combing. "Dothibg is woub with meb."
"Are you sure?! It sounds like to me you're catching the cold." Blonda poured a glass of water, then drank it.
"The colb?" She asked.
"Yep!" Blonda answered. "With your new voice transformation and your new speech issues, I say you have the cold." She drank some more of her water.
Wanda looked in the mirror, and remembered something. She gasped in shock.
"OH NOB!!!" she cried out. "I COUGHTB COSBMOS COLB!!!!"