They'll Hate Me
Notes: A lot of 'Chuck' fics I've read that have Bryce in them make him kind of a jerk. I thought I'd try a different take.
I sit here in the shadows as they sit by the fountain in the courtyard. Sit and watch as he breaks her heart. Just like I knew he would. That's the thing about Chuck, convince him it's the right thing and he'll do it no matter how much it hurts. It's just the way he is.
And I know it hurts him as much as it hurts her. It breaks his heart to do it.
It breaks mine too.
I nearly blow my cover when I see Sarah stand and turn away from him trying and just barely succeeding to hold back the tears. I catch myself before I leave the shadows and, for a moment, am glad Sarah is distracted. At her best, and she's always at her best, she would have caught my slight movement. But, for a rare moment, Sarah's not at her best.
Chuck's not doing any better. I never thought I'd see him look more miserable then when I 'betrayed' him at Stanford. I was wrong. The anguish on his face now makes that look like a mildly bad day.
It wasn't an easy thing to watch. It wasn't back then either.
When I found out The Agency was interested in Chuck I acted rashly, I'll admit that. Barging into Professor Flemming's office and all but demanding that he help me invalidate the test results by framing Chuck? Not the best of plans.
I did something then that I rarely do now. I acted without thinking. Chuck is just one of those rare completely genuine people in the world. I joined the CIA to protect people like him. If The Agency got a hold of him he would have lost that.
I think Professor Flemming felt that way too. Looking back, there was no real reason for him to help me. I had no leverage to use. This man recruited me, and I was still in training.
Oh, there was still intimidation, physical threats, but we both knew I wasn't going there.
The look of betrayal on Chuck's face during those final days at Stanford will haunt me for the rest of my life. I knew at that moment he would hate me forever. No, hate isn't the right word. I don't think Chuck is capable of truly hating anyone. I'm sure he dislikes me enough that it's pretty damn close though.
It tore me up, but I had to do what I felt was right.
I lied at Stanford to protect my friend.
I stole the Intersect to protect my country.
It probably didn't help Chuck's opinion of me when I sent it to him. The fact that doing so essentially put him in the situation I did so much to protect him from is not lost on me. It was necessary though. The brain of a Buy More Nerd Herder is pretty much the last place Fulcrum would look for the Intersect. And, if I'm honest with myself, I just didn't trust anyone else with it.
After I went 'rogue' Sarah followed the Intersect, like I knew she would. Love her dearly, but the woman can be very predictable sometimes.
And I do love her. From the moment I met Sarah, Allison at the time, I was head over heals, no turning back, Hollywood cliché, in love with her. There was only one problem; she didn't love me.
Oh, sure she told me she did, all the time in fact, but it doesn't change the fact I know better. Sarah built up walls around herself long before I met her. Walls to keep her from ever being hurt again. After learning what little I could about her past I couldn't really blame her.
That didn't mean I didn't know her well though. I knew that she would see finding the Intersect as her responsibility. That would lead her straight to Chuck, and that's exactly what I wanted.
I knew she wouldn't be prepared for someone as open and honest as Chuck. How could she? Growing up with a conman for a father then moving on to the life of a spy doesn't exactly nurture a trusting existence.
He's exactly what she needs. Just the type of person who can get past the walls she built around her heart simply by being himself. Even I'm surprised at how fast he managed it.
I've been around more than they think, seen them together, seen the spark between them slowly growing into an inferno. They really are good together.
I'm not a fool. I know who I am. I'm the 'bad boy'; the type of guy a woman takes home for a night. Chuck's the kind of guy they take home for a lifetime.
So if I went through all the trouble of getting them together why would I arrange for Chuck to break it off? Simple really. Sometimes you don't really appreciate what you have until you nearly lose it. Sometimes you need something to force you to confront your feelings. And hey, my man Chuck can't be the one doing all the chasing.
I just want them to be happy, even if I can't be a part of their lives.
Chuck will hate me for Stanford, for making the choice for him. He'll hate me for the Intersect, not for the pain it's caused him but for the danger it's placed his family in.
Sarah will hate me for hurting Chuck. She'll hate me for interfering in their relationship when she finds out I had Chuck break it off.
They'll hate me for all that I've done. As long as they're happy, I'm okay with that.