Disclaimer: All I can say is: I wish.
He wasn't sure if something had shifted in his brain, or if something had just snapped, but suddenly it was like the world was out of orbit and everything was spiralling way out of control.
He stared up at the sky, his gaze searching for something to hold onto, and it was then that he spotted it. That one star. And he watched it, hoping that it would be enough to pull him out of all of this darkness.
His mind kept finding it's way back to those flashbacks. They flooded his thoughts. Swallowing him in a tangle of memories just when he thought he'd forgotten them. Freddie's face, his eyes focused on him and brimming with anger, an emotion that had never been directed at him by his best friend before. And JJ, his big blue eyes scared and childlike as he pulled back. It had taken him all but a moment to realise what he had done, but by then, JJ was long gone. And he wasn't sure if he would be able to put it right.
He crouched down on the ground, hugging both of his legs to his chest.
This was the way he had been programmed. James Cook didn't take shit from anybody. And he'd always lived his life that way, but now, he felt desperate. He was losing himself and he knew what could happen if he ever let himself completely unravel.
Shivering, he rubbed the sides of his arms and let his head fall down onto his knees. He ran his hands through his hair, letting his mind wander for awhile.
He had been sure that it would always be this way. He got into a scuffle; Freddie was there to pull him out. Time and time again. And maybe that was the reason he hadn't lost it yet. Maybe that was why he'd been able to keep it together for so long. They had always been there, right by him, through it all.
And now, they weren't. And he couldn't recognise himself.
Something in him had thought that Freddie would always be there. Saving him when he got into trouble. When he skidded past imaginary boundaries. He wasn't particularly good at knowing when he went got in too deep.
He'd thought he'd be able to get past that. That it would be this one off thing and everything would right itself once again, but he found himself thinking about nothing else but the fight.
And, he let that stupid, angry part inside control him. Letting go for once, and unintentionally turning on JJ. He hadn't even noticed what he was doing. Hadn't even realised that it was JJ there. JJ. His best friend. He'd been so mad.
But once he did, all he could remember was that look of fear in his eyes. And it was enough for him to know that he had really fucked things up this time.
This was his wake-up call.
And he knew now that he had to put things right.
Because if he didn't have his friends, who else did he have in the world?
A/N: I'm too tired to think right now, so I'm sorry if it is really horrible. I just wanted to do one on Cook, because I am currently in love with him (although I can understand why some people don't like him) and since we don't know a great deal about him, this is pretty much what I've gathered from episode one and two. Enjoy.