A/N: Did you think this was done, that you got rid of me? So did I.
A couple weeks ago the Fandom Gives Back Author Auction took place and happymoon35 bid for a one-shot. She was kind enough to ask for an outtake of her choice from Memento Mori.
This takes place before Memento Mori begins, a couple months after Edward and Bella get together for the first time. Hopefully New Moon will soften the Jacob blow.
"How can you… how can you even like that guy, Bella? He's a complete douche bag, a narcissistic piece of shit that demeans everyone he comes across—"
Blah, blah, blah.
"—I mean of all the people in the world, of every other person you could have said yes to—which I don't understand, by the way, why you would—why him? Bella? Bella, are you even fucking listening to me?"
"You know for someone who doesn't talk much you sure won't shut up," I sighed.
Edward remained quiet, only the tempered sounds of his breathing rang through the phone line. He'd been at peace with my decision for four days now. So when he called me around noon I was ecstatic to talk with him. It wasn't all that often he called for leisure.
Oh, how wrong I was.
"I hate him," he growled.
I stretched my limbs out on my purple comforter. I hated it, and there were stains from unmentionable things covering most of it. Some of it was soda and the other half was spunk.
"Hey, you should get me a new bed set," I said distractedly.
He groaned. "Get your own damn bed set. Back to the topic at hand, why the hell would you agree to go out with Jacob Black?"
I heard the distinct sound of flint, click, suck. Edward was a lucky guy, smoking whenever he wanted to. I, on the other hand, wouldn't dare to smoke at home. Charlie would lynch me if he thought for even a moment that I'd tasted the seed of the devil.
My cheeks filled with laughter and hissed out shakily.
"Oh, fuck, are you crying?" Edward asked in alarm.
"Edward, I think you should know that I deserve more than booty calls." He grunted. "We've been doing this for months now."
He laughed humorlessly. "I miss the days when you were shy."
"Yeah, well, that's old Bella. New Bella doesn't mind having a cock in her mouth or blindfold—"
"Can we not talk about the blindfold? I'd rather not think about it unless you'd like to come over for a repeat. Carlisle and Esme are out with friends…."
I rolled onto my stomach and picked up the letter Jacob had written and stuck to my locker after our first date. His writing was almost as bad as Edward's. I read it over again, eyebrow hitching at certain places.
"The point of being in a relationship is to not cheat," I said, folding up the letter and tossing it into the garbage pail.
He sounded disgusted saying, "You're really declaring your relationship status with this guy?"
"Fuck, Bella," he sighed. "Alright, whatever, guess that means I'm free."
"Excuse me?" I snapped. "You don't have to stay with me. You could have walked away just like you did when you took my virginity in that field."
Again with the emotionless, humorless laugh. "Whatever. Have fun with this guy. Hold your head up."
He hung up the phone, nothing but the disconnecting tone sending me off. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but he didn't have to be a jerk about it.
Did Edward expect me to have sex with him for the rest of my life and not try to get more? What we were doing wasn't Friends with Benefits, not even close. I wasn't even sure we could be considered friends.
I picked up Jacob's note again. He wanted to go out for dinner again tonight. Maybe his feelings were stung since I didn't kiss him on the first date or something. After his casual declaration of helping me get into Dartmouth I really didn't care what I had to do in order to get teachers on my side. Jacob took some honor classes with me, he would be able to get the best and brightest on my side, my reputation would go up. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
I picked up my cell phone that had rolled beneath me but it vibrated at my hip as my fingers wound around it. Ooh that felt nice.
Jacob's name flashed across the screen. I pursed my lips but picked it up anyway. "Hey, I was just thinking about you."
"Oh, I was, too," his voice held a grin in it. I couldn't help but smile back. "Have you thought about tonight?"
"Yeah, I think it would be a great idea. Pick me up at seven?"
Charlie shot me an amused smile every time I turned around. He was thoroughly pleased with my blossoming relationship with Jacob, had even gone so far as to explaining to me the boundaries of love and how not to go about them the wrong way. I didn't think I could fall in love with Jacob, but I kept my mouth closed. Anything was possible and I was willing to let what would come as it may.
I got my second nicest dress out, the emerald green one with the bodice that made my chest look a bit bigger than it was. I wasn't going to wear a white dress, not after last time. I'd managed to pour tartar sauce all over my skirt and had to sit through the rest of the night with a red face, trying not to drip it all over Jacob's car.
He'd been nice enough with helping me clean myself up, smiling and telling me it didn't matter. He'd even called me beautiful. I didn't believe of word of it, convincing myself that it was all for the sake of getting under my skirt. I realized that night how messed up my sense of gratitude was.
His consideration helped to prompt me into the decision of going out with him again. Jacob had hounded me for months, before Edward and I had… gotten together. I never thought of him as anything special. He was nice, thoughtful, made me laugh, but wasn't exactly my type of guy. The muscle were nice, don't get me wrong, but I liked someone who could take risks, not live by the books.
The house phone rang and Charlie swung his arm up to grab it. His face split into a grin. "Yeah, she's ready. Alright, see ya Jake."
"Around the corner?" I asked.
"Yeah, have a good night, kid." He nodded his head, that fatherly warning glinting in his eyes.
As I left the house Jacob rolled in with his pieced together car. It looked like a monstrosity but the thing ran pretty well. I noticed with trepidation that the backseat had been taken out; instead of car seats the floor had been padded. Maybe my gratitude wasn't tainted.
"Hey, sorry I'm late," he said as he stepped out of the car. He had a nice white button up shirt with short sleeves, kind of dorky, but I liked it. "You look really nice."
I found myself smiling. "You, too."
I clambered into his small car, knocking my head against the disproportionate roof and then feeling like an idiot when Jake's six-foot-plus body moved with ease. Of course he would have been used to it by now; he'd had the car since he was twelve.
The car ride to Port Angeles was long and awkward. No amount of childhood friendship and reminiscing about Tonka trucks could make this easier. We were going on a date. Weird as it was, I wasn't this nervous on our first one, in all honesty I just wanted to get it out of the way.
I read about dating etiquette online before Edward called and took down my mood. The first date was an icebreaker, something to find mutual interests and common goals. It was supposed to be the peaceful one, the catalyst for the rest of a relationship. Second date was the kissing one. I could practically see Jake's giddiness; maybe he read the same article or knew from experience.
I was nervous about the future after this date. There was no way in hell I'd give it up easily. If Jake expected me to spread my legs he'd have another thing coming. But my future career and life goals were more important than keeping my chastity. If this did decide to become a high school sweethearts kind of deal I'd need to… do that at some point.
Jacob tried to instill small talk that I grudgingly went along with. He told me about his coach and how he had been put on a pedestal. After his bragging about football, trying to drag me into it with questions about my favorite professional team, we arrived at a small restaurant on the outskirts of Port Angeles.
It was a Mexican place, a mariachi band was outside, smiling and singing but there was unhappiness in their eyes. I looked at Jake and saw the universal sign. I was doing the right thing. Someday that could be me. I shuddered.
"Every time I come here with the guys after practice I swear I'm the happiest person in the world. You need to try their nachos—tacos here with the hard shells, oh, Bells—" I cringed "—so amazing."
"Yeah, definitely," I mumbled and sat across from him in a booth. Wait, was I supposed to sit next to him? What was protocol when dining out at a restaurant on a date?
Jacob ordered his food, deciding to start me off with nachos. I said nothing, listening as he spoke and trying not to over think everything I did and said.
"You look sick," he said with a mouth full of tortilla chips.
"Huh? Oh, no, just nervous." I waved my hand. "Not used to this, so, sorry about my lack of participation." I smiled shyly, feeling like a child.
He smiled back, his fingers grazing mine on the tabletop. "No, it's alright. You can be nervous."
I nodded and went back to my nachos, waiting for the taco to come. I wasn't impressed with the cheap meat and melting, messy cheese. The light above us was making a humming that would transition into a screeching noise. Trying to read the menu for a drink and having a dim, flickering light above me would ensure that I'd go cross eyed.
The night wasn't too bad. I imagined a thousand different scenarios in my head of drinks being knocked over, waitresses flirting with him, me finding him in the bathroom with the short middle aged bar woman, but it was normal. I was almost sad that our dinner had been so uneventful. Jacob was a big guy who liked to goof off, that should have given him a beacon of danger serrated on his chest like a Bat Man symbol.
We drove home with full bellies, talking about the food we'd eaten, the service. Jacob made jokes, tame ones that I forced a laugh at. That was a sign of interest right? Laughing at dumb jokes?
By the time I got home Charlie had the porch lights on and the houselights off. Jacob walked me to the door, like I'd die on the six steps it took me to get in. I was uneasy as he leaned over me after I got my keys out and unlocked the old bronze padlock.
When I turned around, hands dangling at my sides and my mouth opening and closing like a fish, he leaned down smacked a kiss right on my open mouth.
I didn't get the chance to close it and I tried to kiss back but my teeth ended up biting into his skin. He winced and reared back, trying for a different angle but this time his mouth ended up eating my bottom lip. His breath was so spicy it made my eyes water. Don't guys carry breath mints as a rule to live by?
Jacob stepped back, looking at me while I tried not to grimace. Our hands were at our sides, dangling limply. Why move them when they were fine where they lay?
"I-I'll see you tomorrow," he stuttered, goofy grin on his face.
After our awkward lip bump—that's all it was—on the porch, Jacob called me everyday for a week. He would talk about anything that came to mind, pouring over his homework distractedly and trying to subtly ask me out again. We weren't on the boyfriend-girlfriend express train yet, I still felt too strange to acknowledge his attempts at defining us.
I wasn't the kind of girl who dated. I enjoyed spending time with people, not so much in the past couple of months, but in general I liked to talk. I wanted philosophical conversations where I could stand up and point my finger at someone exclaiming, "You, sir, are wrong" and walk away in victory.
But with Jacob I was on my best behavior.
I listened to him, nodded, and sometimes when I zoned he'd bring up, ever so subtly, something about Dartmouth. My love for that school overshadowed the mundane conversations we put together. How did couples do this?
It wasn't that I didn't like Jacob, I did. We had been friends since we were kids. We used to play in the dirt, make mud pies. I would convince him to eat it, often he'd decline and I'd cry, making him feel guilty and then I would snicker afterward. Now it was like I was doing my best to keep, as Edward had prompted, my head up.
And onto Edward. There was nothing to say. After the afternoon he'd called we hadn't spoken again. The creep.
"Bella? You there?"
I snapped back to reality, frowning at the piece of plastic in my hand. I realized quickly that I was still on the phone with Jake and that he had been talking a mile a minute. I needed to start listening more and zone out less.
"Yeah, I'm here. What did you say about Mike Newton?" I asked, rolling onto my back. The ceiling had spit wads and toilet paper stuck to the white paint. The toilet paper was a science experiment gone wrong and the wads were from Edward.
I missed his bored body in my bed, recovering from an orgasm. I would have almost taken him here with me, throwing books on my floor and telling me what was wrong with them over Jake trying to coerce me to go anywhere that Mike Newton was.
"Parents are gone. Older brother is in charge. Big party," he chuckled. "You in?"
"I don't know, Jake. I have a lot of homework and I'm so tired." I yawned for emphasis. Hell if that affected his argument.
"Bells, this is our opportunity to make things public." My throat clenched up. "An hour or two, that's all I'm asking. I'll bring you back home right after."
There was something unsaid dangling off his tongue. His tone was a bit harsh, harsher than I'd heard in a while, not since I'd decided to rock climb without a harness in La Push. I pulled my princess purple comforter over my head and chipped at a stain with my fingernail.
"Fine," I mumbled.
I could head his grin before he even spoke. Lips parting and teeth glimmering, perfectly aligned with the help from braces. "Thank you."
He hung up, something else unsaid on his lips, but I was much more eager for it to not come out. He was rushing things already, afraid that I might slip through the cracks of his fingers if he held them out for rainwater. It rained a lot in Forks; maybe I'd be so lucky.
I convinced myself easily that I'd never be caught at house party again. The lawn was a mess. Who lets a few dozen kids walk across a muddy lawn? Mike's parents would be paying a fortune in landscapers when they got back.
Red plastic cups were everywhere, inside outside, on the roof, in trees. There were girls half dressed and I felt instantly out of place with my thick parka and rain boots. It was sixty degrees, how could anyone afford to have a skirt?
Jake greeted some of his friends who were on the porch, sitting on an old couch that was meant for the dump. Springs were coming out of the side. I steered clear of it in case I'd have an 'accident' and end up in the hospital.
My hand was tucked securely inside Jake's. He walked us over with a proud grin, mine was wide, uneasy, but I made it work—I hoped. I was greeted with tight lipped grins and handshakes. While Jake spoke with them I managed to ease my sweaty palm from his and shove my hands into my pockets. My nose was red and raw within twenty minutes and I excused myself to get a drink.
The inside of the Newton's household was destroyed. The chandelier hanging over the small living room had toilet paper and underwear hanging from it and spilled alcohol covered most of the floor. I pushed away any offers for beer, not wanting to become one of these slobs and claiming to have lost my panties on the lighting fixtures.
Setting on a goal, I decided to find the bathroom. That would prove to be an adventure all its own. Every college party scene had a kid looking for the bathroom and getting into all kinds of shenanigans.
There were couples littering the walls, upholstery and floors making out. If they didn't have clothes on the population of Forks would have had a baby boom in nine months.
I went upstairs, surprised to find that the chaos from downstairs hadn't been mirrored up here.
Most of the doors were locked, some with 'Keep Out' paper signs hanging from doorknobs. One had a sock on it and I grimaced. Disgusting.
In all honesty I was a bit jealous. I'd gone from sex every other day to keeping my distance from a boy that I was pretty sure was aiming to get at first base again. Edward and I went from first to home in fifteen minutes.
The walls were a textured off white color. Evenly spaced frames hung on the wall, towards the front of the stairs pictures of Mike and his older brother in school portraits greeted the visitor, but further down were riotous religious and mythology pictures.
Venus stood, arm extended and pointed me to the stairs. I eyed the picture, half tempted to take it with me. It would look pretty on the wall next to my window.
I left it there, though. I wasn't so sure I should steal with all the biblical figures looking out at me.
A sad Jesus caught my eye, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes, making me feel shameful. All my sins bubbled up under the surface and I backed away.
It—it was just a picture. There weren't even that many scientific findings to prove that Jesus had been alive. But those eyes looked into my soul and I shrieked, scratching at a door until in banged open.
And, well, Jesus Christ.
Edward standing up, leaning against a dresser, head tilted toward the ceiling and a long necked bottle in his hand. At the loud bang the bottle dropped onto some girl's head.
"Fuck!" she yelled. "What was that?"
Edward looked over, dead eyes fixed on my face. Those flat green eyes were worse than the girl from my astronomy class on her knees, chin dripping with pre cum. She looked over, cheeks blushing and quickly pulled her bra up and shirt down.
"It's not what—" she swallowed. "Please, Bella…."
I held up my hands in peace, she looked at Edward who hadn't moved, just stared around the room blankly, and ran like a gun had been held to her head. She had a gun to her head, loaded and ready it appeared.
When she was gone it was just Edward leaning the dresser, and me in the doorway. My stomach dropped out.
"So what?" I barked shakily. "I agree to go out with Jacob and you get head?"
He swiped a hand through his hair. "I was almost done."
I flushed, looking down to his erection that was at half mast. "Liar."
"Go back to Jacob, Bella. You're annoying me." His eyes slipped closed and he made no move to close his fly. "Unless you'd like to finish for me."
My shoulders shook in anger. "Whatever."
I turned around, catching that girl coming from the bathroom. She looked much more put together. Upon seeing me she blushed and looked at the floor, eyes darting back to the room where Edward still was. My blood heated.
"He went home," I snapped.
She looked defeated; shoulders slumped and marched down the stairs. I went into the bathroom, slumping against the wall.
I understood why he said he was a free man now. He didn't have to stay with me anymore; he could have any girl he wanted, anytime he wanted. Those girls didn't have cop fathers and curfews.
If he could move on so easily then I could, too. No matter ho much I craved the sense of familiarity that his touch gave me I wouldn't reduce myself to one of those cheating girls. I had higher standards than that.
I threw the door open, not looking where I was positive Edward still was and walked outside of the pheromone infested house. Jake was on the porch, laughing with friends. He was cute, perfectly desirable to any girl my age.
"Jake," I called. He turned, smile widening.
I grabbed him by the collar and kissed him full on the mouth. Everyone on the porch stopped to stare at us but I closed my eyes tightly and refused to let awkwardness consume us.
There were no sparks, no fireworks, no muscle melting, leg crossing feelings. It was just a kiss and his hands gripped my waist, pulling me to him. Then it was over.
Some people wolf whistled; others looked away, grimaces on their lips. Jake looked beyond pleased, goofy grin lighting up his charming features. He was a good guy, but that kiss wasn't near what I'd expected those pillowy lips to deliver.
What… what had I just done?
I solidified everything; there was no turning back and delaying a relationship between us. It was like signing a contract with everyone in school as a witness. Everyone including Edward.
He was peering at me from the open doorway, and Jake tensed. Edward rolled his shoulders, taking a drink from a girl with short blonde hair, freckles running across the bridge of her nose. She smiled up at him demurely. She was cute, too cute to resist and he didn't even bother.
She leaned up on her toes for a kiss, and without removing his eyes from me, laid a big wet one right on her lips.
I tugged on Jake's shoulder. "I want to go home."
He didn't argue, in fact he seemed too pleased to have me alone. And when we got home he mimicked my kiss on the porch at the Newton's home. This time there was slobbering involved.
I had gone four months without sex. Jake was pushing for it, we'd gotten into heavy kissing and groping—on his part. The boy was constantly hard, and I was flattered, but I felt so pressured.
And Edward—Goddamn Edward—had a million girls around him all the time. At school, out on the town, they were pawing at him constantly. He would pay them attention, feel them up in public, let them suck on his skin and then look at me with a hint of disgust when I'd stop to stare.
Four months ago we'd have been all over each other for make-up-sex, but now… now I was pissed off and beyond horny. And Jake was pushing me.
It was a Wednesday, the two of us were sitting on his dad's old burgundy and green couch with yellow Persian tassels on the sleeves. His arm was around my shoulder and we were watching a romantic comedy. The two main characters were kissing and backtracking to the bedroom. The lead actress took off her shirt, perfectly round breasts all that were visible in the realm of nudity.
Jake shifted beside me and I realized he now faced me. I turned cautiously.
"Bella," he murmured, hands picking up mine. "I know that we've only been dating for a couple months, but I—I really like you. And, well, I think that maybe—maybe…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, listen, I think I love you, and we should take this further, you know."
Quite possibly the worst line ever to tell someone you love them and hop into bed at the same time.
"Um," I mumbled. "I think I, uh, love you, too. And, I mean, sex is… um—"
"I know you're a virgin," he said quickly and I flushed. Oh boy. "I'll be gentle, I've asked people about how to do it—"
"You asked your friends how to deflower me?" I asked in shock and embarrassment.
The hand rubbing his neck went around to the front, leaving a trail of red skin in its wake. "And Coach Clapp."
"Oh my God," I mumbled, hiding my face in my hands.
"It's a legitimate thing to know, Bella. I don't want to hurt you or anything."
"Just… don't worry about that. I'll be fine."
He blanched. "Right here?"
I shrugged. "Why not?"
His face split into the widest grin I had seen and he tackled me onto my back. His long legs pinned me beneath him. His lips were everywhere and I stared at the ceiling. I was kind of excited. My dry spell would end; I'd be over Edward's body and forget all about his stupid ability to make me have wonderful orgasms.
"I love you," he mumbled against my skin, pulling my shirt over my head.
I moaned instead of repeating his words. He seemed just as pleased with that response.
I couldn't help but comparing Jacob to Edward. Jacob delivered no foreplay, he sucked on my nipples, thoroughly entranced by the way they hardened. Edward would have gone slower, gotten me naked before doing anything.
I stopped thinking, feeling completely guilty for comparing this poor, innocent boy to someone else. I was the worst kind of monster.
Jake's fingers unbuttoned my jeans and shoved them down my legs. I closed my eyes and began panting. I wouldn't hurt his feelings by lying here unresponsively. I'd make him feel good.
It was slow after our clothing was removed. The dim light had set and it was nearly black in the room. It was easier not to be ashamed of myself when I couldn't see him. He kissed me long and slow, and his hands pressed to my thighs, separating them. The cool air made me moan in earnest, arching up into him.
"Bella," he groaned. "Can I…?"
"Yeah, yes, Jake," I whimpered.
He had trouble finding where to enter. I was pretty sure he wasn't a virgin. He'd dated Leah Clearwater for a few months in eighth grade. She bragged about how good in bed he was, sighing over his body in the locker room.
Finally I felt the tip of dick at my clit, rubbing. Oh God, it was so good. My fingers had been weak compared to the touch of a man. He pushed in slowly, thinking I was a virgin. Unprepared, I clenched my thighs together, trying my damndest to seem like I was tight and in pain.
"Ow," I mumbled.
He gasped. "Oh, I'm sorry, Bella… God it feels good."
He was half way in before I decided to stop. I let my muscles relax, take him in. And when I sighed he began to move. In all honesty, going for so long without sex made it a bit painful. Jake wasn't gentle like he'd promised. The way he thrust into me and the awkward position I was propped in on the couch wasn't helping.
Why was I doing this? Why the hell did I agree to go out with Jake and have sex with him? On a couch at that?
Was it really worth it all just because Edward had moved on? So what if he got a blowjob from some girl, so what if he had sex with all kinds of girls now? He probably did that before we'd even met.
Jake finished and while I freaked out I realized he'd put on a condom. I breathed out a sigh of relief. It was completely stupid of me to be so unfocused on something that was so important.
It had ended quickly, a couple thrusts in and out, bruises were forming on my hips from where his stomach kept hitting and I wasn't ready to pick up his offer when he asked if I wanted him to let me finish. For the first time in my life I felt completely regretful at having sex.
I dialed the seven digit number for the fourth time, getting the voicemail message again.
"I know you're there. Please pick up, please, please, please. I really need to talk to you. I'm going to your house, and I'm not leaving until you talk to—"
I sighed, it was nice to hear his voice, angry and yet emotionless. I sat beside my bed and played with dust bunnies. They swirled around my pencil's eraser and I picked them up, depositing their little bodies into my garbage pail.
"Edward, I really need you," I said, tears slipping down my cheeks.
He sighed. "Come on over."
The line went dead.
Ten minutes later I was driving faster than I ever had. I nearly missed the turn off for Edward's house and pulled up to the dirt yard. The tire swing was moving against an old, massive tree and I longed to stand next to the dirty shingles of his house.
I ran to the door, knocking eagerly. It creaked open, Edward stood there, stock still. I could feel the tears bubbling up, my chin quivered. He ushered me in, walking upstairs into his shoebox room. I fell onto his bed and he sat in his desk chair.
Pulling out a cigarette he lit it up, eyes telling me to explain my sudden appearance.
I sucked up the mucus in my nose. "You should pick up your phone, it's not nice to ignore me like that."
"You wouldn't cry over that," he said.
"I made a mistake," I blubbered.
His eyes closed and he inhaled a drag from his cigarette, holding it in his mouth. Some came out from his nose, some from the side of his mouth. I got up, grabbed his pack and pulled one out with shaky fingers. He knocked it from my hand.
"You slept with him?" he asked, eyes cold and hard but surprisingly not judgmental.
I gaped at him. "You… you knew—"
He exhaled. "Of course I did." Another drag from his cigarette. "He's predictable, a dumbass. And I know how you work, Bella. How'd abstinence work for you?"
"How'd fucking a million girls work out for you?" I snapped.
He raised an incredulous eyebrow at me. "I asked you first."
I took his cigarette, smashed it into the pottery bowl he used for an ash tray and straddle his lap. I kissed him flat on the mouth and my muscles melted indefinitely. His fingers tore off my shirt and he swiped the contents of his desk to the floor, my back slamming into the carved wood.
My legs parted and he stepped into them, shirt going over his head. The rusty chain he used as a belt rattled as he unclipped the two sides. His pants fell down without its support and he didn't have any boxers on. He knew… the bastard knew everything.
"One last chance," he murmured, fingers rubbing the top of my panties. He pushed the center over until it touched my thigh. He leaned down, licked his lips, then my clit.
I sucked in a shuddering breath. "I don't care about monogamy," I nearly yelled.
He grinned. "The asshole deserves this," he muttered so low I barely heard, but his fingers entered me. "He can have you in name, but nothing else."
"Stop talking," I whimpered.
He did just that, his lips and tongue on me, sucking my clit, pumping in and out. My foot rested on his shoulder, the other spread, finding purchase in the air of his room. It was stale vanilla air freshener and grapes.
My hips moved in time with his tongue, knowing the rhythm like I knew the back of my hand. I smiled, honest to goodness smiled as pleasure struck through my very soul, cumming on his face without warning. It was so beautiful, so amazing that I let my legs fall further apart for him.
He stood naked between my legs, picked me and dropped me on his bed. I sat up, ready to reciprocate oral, but he pushed me on my back.
"Later," he said, hands on either side of my face.
He pushed in roughly, not pausing for an imaginary hymen. He'd already taken that out. I scraped my fingernails down his chest, mouth gaping wide, eyelids fluttering closed and skin breaking out in gooseflesh. My nipples reached for him, reveling in his masculinity.
"Oh… fuck, Edward," I whispered.
He groaned long and low, eyes closing as mine opened. For a few seconds he didn't move. We reacquainted our bodies, two long lost lovers desperately seeking warmth and familiarity. I breathed his name, arching my hips back and forth, impaling and pulling out. He rocked in time, breath speeding.
He pulled out, and then forcefully pushed back in. It was simply amazing, a heavenly experience with a cacophony of slapping skin. Wet sounds came out every time he moved.
His fingers dropped to my clit, circling where I was still sensitive from his mouth. My legs convulsed, body arching, throat expanding into wordless syllables that formed his name through a thick haze that choked me.
"Like that," he moaned. "Cum, Bella. God, I—I can't."
"I am… more, more, Edward." I arched, my head and feet holding me up while Edward grabbed my waist, pounding in and out.
How had I lived without this? How could I have though going to someone else would ease the ache that only complete physical intimacy could fill? Somehow he managed to do it and I didn't know what secret ingredient he had that could make sex this incredible.
He released my hips, elbows resting beside my shoulders. His pubic hair brushed against my clit and I came quickly. His mouth swallowed my cries, his tongue painted words on my palate. He groaned and stopped moving, my inner muscles still clenching onto him.
I could feel him release on my stomach, warm and sticky as it pooled between us. I slumped into his mattress. Somehow Edward found the strength to stand and I watched his back as he bent to grab his clothing while throwing me a towel.
I let his cum burn my skin. The weight was erotic, sliding downward toward my thighs. Soon enough the merriment was over. It got harder, began to flake. I grimaced, wiping it away.
"You ought to go," he said, cracking open a text book to a random page and pretending to read the scholastic lesson.
I nodded, though he didn't see. The undignified shame that I felt from being with Jake flushed away and I felt full and complete from being with Edward. I felt no shock at the mixed and backward emotions. I was… happy about it. I wouldn't grow any attachment to Jake and that made me feel a lot better about myself, even though I was clearly an idiot.
"Edward?" I called before walking through the threshold of his room.
"Hmm?" He looked up, hair in his cold eyes. The green was back, not flat, but emerald.
"Thank you," I breathed.
His expression changed, his mouth tugging, eyes looking sad but… hopeful. I walked away before I saw anything else from the stoic boy.
A/N: Happymoon35 thank you for spending your money on something so important as The Fandom Gives Back. I'm honored to write this for you.