The Great Exchange

Chapter One: Be Jealous, Orochimaru


"What's wrong, Naruto?"

My best friend looked at me with obvious unhappiness in his big, blue eyes.

"I promised I'd do this for you," he said dejectedly. "And…I kinda wanted to keep my promise…"

I smiled to cheer him up, punching him gently in the arm. "Don't worry, all that matters is, there's no way I'll be back without him this time."

He smiled back then. "I guess so…"

The two of us dawdled outside our meeting point like Academy children for another few minutes. Anybody walking by would've probably wondered what two shinobi were doing, hanging around Konoha's maximum-security prison. Everyone in there was probably on death row, not exactly a comforting thought. Hence, Naruto and my mindless babble in an attempt to distract ourselves.

"It's not fair, Sakura-chan," Naruto complained, giving me a pouty look. "Why couldn't I have been picked for this one, dattebayo? I know him just as well as you do…"

"Because," I said, flicking him in the center of his headband, "You're great at a lot of things, Naruto, but acting isn't one of them. At the first sign of trouble, you'd call up some clones and try to Rasengan something."

He muttered in defeat. "I guess…But still…"

"Don't worry," I told him. "We've been on worse missions than walking back home from who-knows-where with a few freaks in tow."

He couldn't argue with that.

Soon enough, the group we'd been waiting for appeared. Tsunade-shishou, Kakashi-sensei, Neji, Yamato-taichou, and several other Jounin materialized in poofs of smoke in quick succession until all were present.

"It's about time, dattebayo!" Naruto complained. "We've been waiting around for hours!"

I sent him a comfort smile as he was promptly ignored. One Jounin unlocked the chain padlock wrapped over the prison's entrance, and for the first time, Naruto and I followed the group into a maximum-security prison ward. The creepy feeling wasn't helped by the fact that the doors were locked again behind us to make sure no inmates escaped.

Once inside the doors, a single shinobi led the rest of us down several hallways, each of which had doors that had to be unlocked and locked again after we'd passed through. After the disturbing feeling had worn off, I was glad there were so many precautions against any escape whatsoever.

After what seemed like and endless amount of hallways, all of us reached a single door guarded with chains, electrified bars, and chakra-sucking jutsu placed over it. None of the barriers had been activated yet, so all that was needed were a few keys to remove the thick locks, and the door swung open to allow us to file silently file in.

The small room inside was starched-white, and bare but for a large table that resembled an operating counter back at the hospital. I felt Naruto tense beside me at the sight of the unused restraints for any person unlucky enough to be assigned to this room.

"Before we begin," Tsunade-shishou said, "We'll go over this one last time. Sakura, your mission?"

"Through the use of a transfer technique, to bring Uchiha Sasuke back to the village while my own body is under confinement," I repeated from memorization.

"Good. Kakashi, your duty?"

"…To assist in detaining the prisoner once the transfer is completed," my old sensei said through his mask.

"Yamato?"

"To restrain the prisoner if necessary."

"Neji?"

"To assist in preventing the prisoner from gaining the ability to use chakra to attempt escape."

"Naruto?"

He was silent for a moment, before muttering, "…To assist in…the detainment and capture of…the prisoner in case they…escape."

After him, the other Jounin, some of them Ino's relatives, stated their position in the performance of the transfer jutsu.

"Good," said Tsunade curtly, once everyone had listed their role. "This is a high-risk situation, and I'm going to need all of you to follow your roles perfectly. Sakura," she ordered, turning to me, "time to begin."

I nodded, and approached the table in the center of the room before climbing onto it and lying face-up. I shivered as the restraints were strapped around almost every part of my body, but I knew this was going to be necessary. By the time I was done, I could move no more than my eyes and my lips.

"All right. Naruto, Kakashi, and Yamato, all of you can leave now."

The three of them obeyed, with Naruto waving a sad goodbye-for-now at me before the door closed behind him.

"Neji."

At the sound of his name, the Hyuga approached me, holding two fingers aloft as they glowed with chakra.

"This will sting," he warned, and began tapping me all over. I winced in the sharp jolts of pain as my chakra network was obstructed one point at a time. The moment he finished, I was already aching, feeling some of my pressure points throb sorely from being shut off.

"Thank you, Neji. Wait outside with the others," ordered Tsunade-shishou, and he obeyed. Now I was alone with the Jounin standing in a circle around me and my shishou at the head of them.

"Are you prepared, Sakura?" she asked one last time.

"Uh-huh," I said softly, unable to even nod my head because of the restraints.

My teacher approached me, her hand glowing with green energy as she held it up to my forehead, giving me a last look that held almost motherly worry.

"See you when you get back," she said to me, and pressed her palm to my forehead. I felt my head slump forward as a wave of sleepiness washed over me, and suddenly my eyes were closing as everything went black…


I felt sunlight on my closed eyelids. It yanked me uncomfortably out of my dozing state, and I grimaced, still half-asleep. The action made my face tingle oddly, which confused me into waking up a bit more…

I opened my eyes, and saw nothing but white. Confusion took over for a moment, before I realized I'd probably rolled over while sleeping to come face-to-face with the wall beside my bed…

I uncurled from my fetal position, sitting up as I yawned and stretched, feeling my spine crack after a night of sleeping curled up.

And I froze. This wasn't my room. It appeared to be a cheap hotel suite, with a white-painted ceiling and walls. There was a single window in the wall beside me, allowing sunlight to stream down through the thick glass and onto my stinging eyelids.

Wincing, I closed my eyes and pressed a hand to my forehead, as I felt unusually sluggish. Feeling something poking between my palm and my face, I drew my hand back.

And had to fight to keep from screaming. This was not my hand.

And in that millisecond, I remembered everything. Naruto and Tsunade-shishou and the prison and the transfer and…It all meant only one thing could have happened here. Steeling myself, I looked down.

I saw a flat chest, strong arms hanging at my sides, and absolutely no curves at all under my now-baggy clothing. This unfamiliar room happened to have a mirror available, so I forced myself up and out of the bed. I had to see if I was what I thought I was.

What I didn't account for was the dizziness that assaulted me, almost making me fall over as I tried to stand. After a few tries, I managed to stumble in a drunken-like state over to the mirror, my feet seeming intent on tripping over themselves.

Preparing myself for what I hoped I would see, I only opened my eyes once I stood before the reflective glass without swaying from lack of balance.

Standing before me, with a very out-of-character expression of shock, was my old teammate and crush, Uchiha Sasuke. The transfer had worked after all.

Curiosity overpowering my disbelief, I examined the boy in the mirror. Not much had changed since I had seen him last. In fact, the only noticeable difference was his now short-sleeved white shirt with a zippered front. Everything else was as I remembered, from his arm guards to his purple Sound sash.

And he was still smokin' hot. My Inner was already in fits of ecstasy over that.

My reflection mimicked my movements as I raised a hand and brushed my fingertips against Sasuke-kun's cheek. I shivered, as his skin was unexpectedly soft. I mean, the only time I'd really touched him was back in the Forest of Death during the Exams, but oh my god…

Darnit, the mirror told me I was making him blush. But it was so cute! And completely out of character…which made it even cuter, of course. I tried a Sasuke-ish frown, and it worked like a charm. As long as I remembered to keep looking unhappy, nobody would bat an eye!

I froze then, hearing the sound of footsteps outside the room's door. Knowing I'd look ridiculous if someone entered to see Uchiha Sasuke checking himself out in the mirror, I stumbled back over to the room's bed and quickly lay back down, managing to keep still as the door opened.

Using a trick I'd learned from Kakashi-sensei, I remained as motionless as possible, imagining my heartbeat slowing. Mind over matter. And sure enough, when I breathed it was long and deep, as if I really was asleep.

The footsteps came closer, but slowly. Whoever they belonged to was being cautious, or maybe timid. It was probably one of Sasuke-kun's team from the remains of the Sound village, but there was also a chance it was an assassin. A clumsy one, if this were true, as whomever it was happened to be standing over me, making miniscule fidgety noises that would give away their presence to any decent ninja.

I cracked open one eye no more than a slit.

Above me was a face. A female face, with beady eyes hidden behind thick, rectangular glasses. Her bright red hair was unusual, spiked up on one side and completely flat on the other. At the sight of her hungry expression, I almost shuddered before remembering to keep still. Her red eyes were roving over me, and I felt a pang of pity for Sasuke-kun, as she shared the same eager eyes as his fangirls back home.

Not realizing I was conscious, her hand hovered over me before alighting gently on my chest. Though I kept telling myself whose body I was in, it felt disgusting to have her stroking me with that greedy face. I wondered if Sasuke-kun allowed such behaviors as this within his team, and quickly decided not.

"Now, my dear Sasuke-kun," the girl whispered, her eyes glinting, "You're all mine."

I felt her fingers halt their journey, and to my horror, she grabbed the front of Sasuke's white shirt and opened it, a euphoric grin plastered onto her face.

She was going to molest me.

Before I even knew what I was doing, my hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, twisting it violently as I pushed her off of me, managing to hurl her to the floor as I held a knife to her throat. The whole operation had taken less than a second. Kakashi-sensei would've been proud.

"S-Sasuke-kun!" she squeaked as I glared at her with as much fury as I could muster. "I…I didn't…I was just checking you for injuries! I'm…I-!"

She was a terrible liar, I thought as her eyes remained glued to my now-bare chest. My insides squirming with repulsion, I withdrew my kunai-clenching hand, keeping my Sasuke-ish glare at maximum power as she picked herself up and scurried out of the room.

I only exhaled as soon as I could no longer hear her footsteps. Shivering in the breeze from the door slamming shut behind her, I quickly zipped back up the front of my shirt, feeling absolutely violated. I had no idea what Sasuke-kun's relations with this girl were, but I had a good hunch they didn't involve assaulting him in his sleep.

Calm down, Sakura, calm down…

No matter what my mind told this body, it didn't seem to want to obey. I remained edgy, my line of vision darting here and there to check for any more potential threats. A habit Sasuke-kun developed that had probably kept him alive several times, but right now it was just irritating.

I sighed, accidentally unnerving myself even more by running my fingers through Sasuke-kun's hair and feeling choppy spikes instead of my own smooth, silky locks. That girl was way too touchy-feely. I'd have to watch out for her later.

Well…what should I do now? What would Sasuke-kun do, after having woken up to a crazed fangirl trying to do what she did? Probably comfort himself with killing thoughts, and-

My stomach growled loudly.

…And then maybe go get some grub before he keeled over…

Sasuke Impersonation Mission One: Food Retrieval, Commence.


Huhuhu. As with U&U and YSA, I once more prove I can have 2 fics going at once. Mwarharhar.

After reading a whole bunch of badly-written switchfics, I decided we needed one with no readers cringing because of bad spelling and poor grammar.

Oh, Sakura. The fun you shall have in this little story :D

WARNING! This fanfic one is only something I'll be working on if i have no inspiration for my current fanfic (Sea Story). Don't expect weekly updates, as I am a lazy bum and creativity only comes in short bursts.

Prod for updates at your own leisure.