Chapter 15: JK Rowling Calls for an End to this Story


JK Rowling entered the great hall. Everyone applauded and cheered, clambering for a speech. She walked to a podium at the front and cleared her throat.

"I am calling for an end to this story!"

"Uh, we got that from the title of the Chapter," Ron said.

"I can have you eaten by a hippogriff if you don't shut your face," Rowling snapped. Ron looked chagrined and remained silent.

"You can't speak to my lover that way," Lavendar exclaimed loudly.

Readers: Now you're sleeping with RON? Ho.

"THIS is what I am talking about! Ron making out with Harry. Harry making out with Draco. Hermione making out with Snape! Lavendar sleeping around. This has GOT. TO. STOP."

"Hey, Lavendar sleeping around is canon. You can't mess with that," Harry said.

"But… but I love Snape!" Hermione interrupted tearfully. "We have five hundred and twenty-three kids and one on the way. You can't just make all that disappear!"

"I can and I will! Because I am the creator of you. I wrote Harry Potter and the Magical Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Aspartame –"

"Wait a minute," Harry piped up. "I don't believe you are really JK Rowling… You're an… IMPOSTER!"

The woman at the podium look visibly flustered. "No, no.. I am she. I can prove it. My name is JK Rowling! What more proof do you need?!"

Harry waved his wand and in a loud, deep baritone said "REVEALUS EXPECTUS!"

And there, before all their eyes, was a young girl with mousy brown hair and an incredibly bad posture. She looked in fear around her. "Uh… uh… "

"I KNEW IT!" Harry exclaimed. "IMPOSTER! What are you doing here?!"

"Um… trying to er, end this story?"

"Hey, I think it's one of the reviewers who said this story was rubbish. Or said the Irish jig was improperly named because it's really supposed to be called river dance, and the reviewer was from Ireland so she would know. Or Something."

"You're right!" Someone in the Hufflepuff crowd exclaimed. "You're bloody friggin right!"

"BANISH HER!"

"EXILE HER!"

The crowd turned back to the imposter at the podium.

But.

She was gone.

…And Hermione and Snape went on to have twelve more babies. Ten of which Angelina Jolie adopted.