So yeah. Superjail has officially eaten my brain and converted it to a gray mush of a thickish consistency that oozes little trails of fanfic here and there. Why study for an exam in molecular anatomy when you can sit in front of your laptop and write a story that'll in no way benefit you? The choice is obvious.

That said, wash your hands after reading this stuff. It seems like the Superjail bug is really catching; if you ever look on Deviantart, you'd see that it's now more of an epidemic.

I love epidemics.



While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole that he's in.

-Bob Dylan

Jared's first employed day in Superjail had taught him, among other things, that one's calendar or date book tended to vanish as soon as one left it unattended.

On his first day he would have laughed if someone told him that eventually he would find time immaterial. He was always a person set in his ways; an obsessive watch-checker. In fact he still wore it, even after this lengthy, indistinct time in the prison's unique plane of existence. It comforted him and came to represent the outside world; that somewhere outside this dimension there still existed order. But he had eventually learned to take time's evasive passage in stride, just as he did with the bloodshed and the rainbows that streaked through his vision on a regular basis. A place like Superjail was never less than a massive distraction from such things; there was always something more important to think about.

Strangely, Jared could keep track of the days themselves; the sun always rose and always set (sometimes much later than normal, he knew now). He knew when it was Wednesday (the cafeteria food was extra stale on Wednesdays), knew any day of the week it was and the day before it. The day after, however, was always a little…hazy. Anything beyond that seemed to blur out, then vanish; become incorporeal. Time in Superjail did not pass in the same manner as it did on the outside.

The prison had been doing surprisingly well after the matter with the Time Court had been settled. Nothing major had happened since then; in fact even Jacknife's escape attempts became scarce after a few security upgrades. The inmates seemed less edgy than usual, the Warden's customary episodes of insanity had evened out and lightened up; even the weather was unerringly mild. Even the typically edgy accountant began to succumb to the lull of normalcy.

He should have known that it would not last. Nothing resembling peace ever could in Superjail.

One day, news came to the Warden in the form of a letter from DL Diamond.

It read, Remember me, ha? Sending you a note because we have some news. First, we're now a church, so donations are welcome. Also, the Galactoids want to have me come back to Superjail for a second tour. They loved how free everyone's minds were, and how everybody had crystals, but it seems like there's a mega huge amount of negatons just INFESTING your jail. That's probably why those inmates cause so much trouble for you. Was wondering if ya'd like us to come on back and help kick some negaton ass. Free of charge! - DL DIAMOND.

He had balls, did DL Diamond. Jared thought that he had to have known about the damage he left in his wake during his last stay at Superjail. What catastrophic repercussions that drug had on people, especially violent, overcrowded men in a violent, overcrowded prison. Maybe he thought Superjail might never notice that it had been robbed; everyone was so brainwashed anyway.

So how did he grow big enough balls to write this letter?

Jared had never been one to pry, but he had his suspicions about the Warden's feelings regarding DL. It wasn't good.

Example: the look that glazed over the Warden's eyes as he lowered the letter to the desk. It wasn't anger. Jared had expected anger (maybe more like hoped); he himself felt angry enough to kill that man. But no.

No, this was something very different. Jared had studied his boss's expressions for so long that he knew them well. And this evening, as the Warden lowered the letter from his face, Jared saw…


"S-sir," he ventured, "can I… read the letter?"

Warden's eyes stayed faraway, glassy, as he automatically passed the note. Jared read it, his anger and nervousness rising. When he was finished he handed it back to the Warden, who took it numbly. He was distant… lost in thought, perhaps. Jared himself felt the panic attack rise up and then hit him and suddenly he was dizzy and panting. Warden's eyes snapped back to reality and he reached over to steady Jared, looking concerned.

"Hey Jared… c'mon with that…what's wrong with you?"

"Panic attack," answered Jared, jittery. "It's okay, it'll go away in a minute." He expected the Warden's attention to be absorbed by the note again, but he stayed, looking uneasy and watching his accountant carefully.

"Do they hurt? Like a heart attack?"

"Nah," said Jared, smiling a little. The man had never heard of a panic attack; too rich. It was so…Warden. "You just… I dunno, you feel dizzy and it's hard to catch your breath, like after you've been running. Sometimes your chest feels weird, but then it goes away."

"…Huh. Weird."

"Yeah," Jared said. "It is."

It took a few minutes of rather comfortable silence before Jared was finally able to ask what Warden thought about the letter.

"Mmmmhhmm, the letter." His eyes were getting glassy again, fluttering with rapture. "Of course he can come back. I knew he'd love Superjail! This time, though, maybe he can bring the Galactoids. It will be so exciting!"

Jared sat staring out of the bay window behind the Warden's desk. A few moments before his boss had finished speaking, a rainbow had streaked across the sky over Superjail. He smiled a little.

"What?" asked Warden, turning around to peer out the window.

"I see a lot of those whenever the subject of DL Diamond is brought up, sir."

"What?" Warden looked around. "Rainbows?"

"Yes, sir."

Warden blinked at him, confused, and Jared jumped at a thought: what if the Warden wasn't aware that these things happened around him? All this time he had supposed, even assumed, that his boss knew. He couldn't really be that unobservant, could he?

Mercurially, Warden's confused expression softened into amused resignation. "Jared, you're bizarre. You know that? Sometimes I just don't understand you."

It's more than 'sometimes', sir, thought Jared, but he smiled as he thought it.

Of course, plans were made immediately to arrange DL Diamond's return to Superjail. Jared's trepidation was all-consuming, even as he spoke with the woman at the number Diamond had provided he could feel himself wanting to hang up, to just call it off. Yet despite his misgivings, he could not force himself to disobey the Warden's orders. He liked to tell himself that this was because of an innate fear of being fired, but if he squinted at the feeling just right, it looked like more than that. Maybe a lot more.

So he put his head down and bulldozed through his deeper voices until the only sound he heard was the echo of the Warden's voice, and he waited for DL Diamond to arrive.

It was like waiting for a hurricane.