Rating : T for language(as usual)
Am not making money, do not own.
The problem Naruto and Sasuke have is not falling in love. It's admitting it.
This is dedicated to those who have reviewed multiple of my stories, and kept my fragile ego treading water. Thanks.
implicit love is to explicit lust
How long has it been since he went walking? No direction. Aimless wandering.
The boy across the room looks like his girlfriend just broke up with him. The girl behind him looks like she wishes she were prettier. Everything is so clear to him that even the air throbs with toneless music and the walls are vibrating and shaking with the emotions swelling in the room.
People are smiling and laughing and dancing and he sprints outside and nearly collapses on the damp curb because he's always assumed people can't be that full of life without exploding into a million pixels of razor-sharp light and he doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire.
He looks up at the night sky and wishes a star would fall on his head.
He remembers the birthday he asked for a cloud. Sakura had boiled marshmallows and sugar into a gooey mess and stuck it on the ceiling of his room for him to see when he woke up. He'd woken up with it attempting to asphyxiate him.
"Hey, Sasuke." He's still staring up at the stars when Naruto comes up behind him.
It's quiet for a moment, because Sasuke has too little to say and Naruto has to much.
Naruto opens his mouth to ask what he's thinking about, but his mouth works independently of his thoughts. "I think I'm in love with you."
Sasuke stops breathing.
Naruto tenses, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. "Fuck, that's not what I meant to say."
Sasuke coughs, pulling himself off the curb. There are strobe lights pulsing behind his eyes and apparently in his heart because he can feel the blood pulsing through his veins and maybe he's felt this way his entire life but never realized until now.
Naruto watches him for a moment before launching into nervous conversation.
"I know what you were thinking about. Do animals think? Humans think in words and numbers, but they don't think in feelings. Feeling and thoughts are separate things. Feelings are felt in the heart, and thoughts examined in the mind. But animals must think in feelings, or colors, or shapes, or images because they can't think in words."
Naruto knows he's babbling, but he has to do something to distract him from looking at Sasuke. "What about babies? How do they think? They don't know words or shapes or anything but colors and feelings. Does that make babies animals?"
Sasuke's looking at the sky again, shoulders loose and eyes half-shut and unwilling arms shaking.
Naruto's watching him and not talking for once. The words ran out and there's nothing left but silence.
Sasuke wants to run after all the words Naruto's let loose from his mouth. He wants to gather them up in his arms and pretend they're his.
But he'd rather not embarrass himself.
He turns to go back into Sakura's party, back into the belly of the beast, but Naruto stops him with a hand on his elbow.
Sasuke looks at him expectantly. Naruto looks away.
"I really didn't mean," he breathes out. "to say that."
Sasuke swallows, muscles tensing. "Whatever."
Naruto looks back at him and chokes out a harsh laugh. "This is…awkward, huh?"
Sasuke shrugs. "Only because you're making it awkward."
Sasuke isn't shrugging off Naruto's hand, but Naruto is too busy looking in Sasuke's eyes to realize.
"Sorry." Naruto bites his lip and removes his hand. Sasuke absentmindedly rubs the spot where Naruto's hand rested.
Naruto is looking at the curls of rebellious hair lying against Sasuke's forehead.
Sasuke doesn't go inside. He stands there with his rival, on the damp sidewalk outside Sakura's house, faint wisps of music drifting over to them, wondering just how stupid he is to have ever believed in love.
Naruto's eyes are a vivid blue in his tan face, his freckles standing out like a smile at a funeral. Sasuke's nose has been broken one too many times and his eyebrows aren't symmetrical and he's always scowling.
They're both caught up in their own delusions of the world, things that prevent them from seeing what's right in front of their eyes.
"We should go back in." Sasuke's voice is quiet. He frowns absently.
"Right." Naruto smiles, corners of his mouth tilting up to greet the stars.
"Back into Sakura's party." Sasuke's mumbling under his breath.
"How do you feel about her?" Today is Naruto's day to throw tact to the wind.
"Excuse me?" Sasuke is a stranger to his own thoughts, and that's not a comfortable feeling for him.
Naruto snorts. "Decent?"
Sasuke clears his throat and shifts his feet. He bites his lip and tugs his hair and does everything in his power to pretend like this is a normal question. "…How do ...you feel about her?"
"There's no one else out here."
"Oh. Well. She's…decent."
Sasuke sighs. "Right."
Loud cheers and clapping erupt suddenly from the house they're standing in front of. 'Happy Birthday' is being sung off-tune. They're missing the cake and presents and the look on Sakura's face when she realizes Sasuke gave her a restraining order for her birthday.
"You're really-" Naruto licks his lips. "-a decent person, Sasuke."
Naruto looks at him expectantly, and Sasuke breathes in deep.
"I really love-" Sasuke exhales. "-your face."
"Thanks. That means a lot."
They are masters of words unspoken.
I turned on the news today.
And the reporter stepped out into my living room.
She said there's a reason for everything.
I stopped dialing 911 and listened.
She said for me to be a better writer, I had to write more.
I realized she had a point.
I sat at my computer and started typing.
So, my community of readers, this is the result.
For this more piece more than others I would really love feedback. I am incredibly unsure over it.
all readers appreciated, reviewers given a noisy kiss on the cheek, flamers accepted, and constructive criticizers given my entire life savings.