That awkward moment when you realize that you should update.
Disclaimer: Hi, my name is jabberwockyandthevorpalblade, I enjoy long walks on the beach, eating chocolate, stealing my friends' lunches, and writing long, incomprehensible disclaimers just to prove that I don't written this series—thought after almost thirty chapters and three years of doing this parody, I think you all realize that by now.
1. Kindergarten Teacher:
Not only should Rumpelstiltskin avoid children at all costs—umm, hello, he steals people's kids—but what four-year-old knows how to spell Rumpelstiltskin?
"Mr. Rumplyskin? I have to go to the bathroom!"
"I can make you a deal you can't refuse…"
"Nurse! Someone kidnapped all the newborns!"
"I knew there was something suspicious about a neurosurgeon going into the maternity ward."
Ha. Those parents are going to come home to an empty house. But on the bright side, at least he cleaned the kitchen after making the kids dinner.
5. Guidance Councilor:
Wait. He already tried that in Book Two. Then blew himself up… I'm still trying to figure that one out…
Woo! Another chapter done! I picture Rumpelstiltskin as that creepy old guy who laughs to himself too much. I'm trying to figure out the moral to this fairytale: Apparently, it's don't make deals you can't keep, because an unfortunately-named man will steal your offspring and then blow himself up after you just so happen to guess his name. Hmm, I wonder why Disney hasn't made a movie about this fairytale yet?