The bus pulls into the station, hopefully no one saw, gratefully it's 2:30AM and everyone is asleep. I Tom Nook a man without a reputation, a story or a past creeps into town. The bus driver Kapp'n tells me how I can improve my love life.
I tell him to shut up and call for my extended family to come out. Timantha, my wife comes out. Looking mad she slaps me because the ride was too long. Tommy and Timmy come next while Tibitha the youngest lags along.
The town of Fango is quiet, to quiet. I quickly build a shop and house my family inside. If Redd want me he'll have to go though my forced labor force. The suns come up a boy comes into my shop wanting a job. I sent him on a few meaningless tasks and send him off telling him to pay off his house even through I didn't build it.
After a hard days work (of doing nothing) I go to the basement of Nookington's strip off my badass blue apron and jump into a pool of bells.
Timantha is already there and Tommy, Timmy, Tibitha are scrubbing the pool clean. There my "children" I bought them from Redd the only thing that damn fox ever has done for me. Anyway there now my slaves and are mine! I scream at them a tell them to work faster. There tears litter the floor and that why we call it the "pool room".
Then suddenly Timantha comes up to me in a cute little blue bikini and tells me that I'm sexy. That's random because I don't think I am anyway she knocks me out and when I awake she tells me she's pregnant. Big surprise NOT! The next day I put on my apron and go upstairs, with my genitals hurting like hell I open up my shop.
The first face in my shop is a wolf named Wolfgang, he wants a stinkin' shovel I give it to him and tell him to get out. I don't mean to be gay but that guy is stinkin' S.E.X.Y! But I'm not gay so I keep that to myself. Next a dog named Daisy enters and she wants her roof painted green. Akk! I'll get Tommy and Timmy to do that later.
Then at the peak of closing time Mable comes in suddenly my day gets better, the world is brighter, and my genitals don't hurt.