Disclaimer: I don't own RENT and I never will.
Back at the loft with the guys. Mark was looking out every window every 5 seconds. Collins was eating the burnt brownies and Roger was calling every possible phone number he knew trying to find Mimi
"Oh god! I'm too late! she's gone!" Roger sobbed "First April....Then Mimi....Who's next? The man?"
"Roger maybe Mimi's just out shopping or something?" Mark suggested "Do you think that could be it?"
"No!" Roger yelled "She's gone to worlds unknown!"
"Mark Cohen!" Maureen yelled as she stormed in ruining the moment "What the fuck is your problem?"
"What?" Mark told her "I diden't do anything Maureen!"
"Oh yes you did!" Joanne yelled as she walked in with Olivia "How could you get this girl pregnant and deny the baby?"
"I diden't!" Mark yelled
"The baby?" Joanne asked
"Not mine!" Mark told her
"Denial!" Joanne yelled
"Crazy!" Mark yelled
"Me?" Joanne asked
"No Olivia!" Mark yelled
"Because she's having a baby?" Maureen asked
"With YOU!" Olivia yelled
"With me?" Mark asked
"Me?" Collins asked
"Hopefully it's not me!...MeMeMeMe....MIMI!" Roger yelled
"All 3" Olivia told Joanne
"WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE!" Joanne yelled at her
"But it's true" Olivia told her "We met at my protest which was televised! It was called "Under the Car"" Olivia told them
"WHAT!" Maureen yelled "Ya know! I think your liar!"
"Maureen since your my best friend and Roomie I think I should tell you that your over reacting and I would know because I'm a shrink!"
"Well as YOUR roomie I say stop copying me!" Maureen yelled "Pookie make her stop copying me and lying!"
"Miss Olivia....Where did you even come from?" Joanne asked her
"New York City.....Duh!" Olivia said with a smile "Born and raised that's why I'm the best lawyer!"
"Your a lawyer?" Joanne asked
"Sure I am I also went to Miss Porters...." Olivia told her
"That's it bitch! Your stealing my life!" Joanne yelled as she punched Olivia in the face
"That's it Joanne!" Olivia yelled "I've had enough of you! your ruining my perfect world with my boyfriend and my other boyfriend who's sad because his girlfriend is dead and my other boyfriend who thinks he's gay! Your so outta here Joanne!"
POOF BANG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And with that a bus randomly drove right through the loft running Joanne over leaving a bloody mess all over of course Joanne lived but got sucked into a swirling vortex
"JOANNE!!!!!!" Maureen sobbed "You bitch! what did you do?"
"Oh pardon the mess!" Olivia cried as she sang a song and deer showed up and licked the blood away
"WHAT THE HELL?" Collins yelled "Your part snow white too?"
"She's my 3rd cousin twice removed!" Olivia said with a giggle
"I wonder who removed whom...." Mark whispered to Maureen
"What did you say Marky?" Olivia asked him
"Nothing..." Mark lied
"So now that you see what I can do anyone else wanna try to ruin my perfect life?" Olivia asked "Any Complaints? anyone at all? Nobody? Great!"
"Now heres how it's going to be" Olivia announced "Maureen and I are going to be best friends and Mark and Roger and Collins are going to be my boyfriends"
"But...But...But...I'm gay" Collins told her
"I can change that!" Olivia told him "Or else....Well you'll have to go too!"
"Home?" Collins asked hopefully
"No...Go..Like...Go...Go" Olivia explained
"Like Potty?" Roger asked
"No Roger....." Mark told him "Dead....Vortex...."
"See he catches on quickly!" Olivia said kissing him
"I'm going to go to call them cops....I mean the mall..." Maureen told them
"Great! I'll come too!" Collins yelled as he and Maureen quickly left
"I'm going to film the duckies...." Mark said as he quickly left before Olivia could say anything
"Quack Quack duckies!" Roger said happily as he tried to go
"No Roger I have other plans for you" Olivia said as she pushed him on the couch and started making out with him
Roger sobbed very loudly in between kisses
"Roger baby I'm home!" Mimi yelled as she came in "Who the fuck are you and why are you making out with my boyfriend!"