Author's Note: Hello, this story has not been updated in so long I kind of forgot about it..., which I am really sorry for. I know... that is really bad. To make up for it I have decided to revamp it and update as quick as I possibly can. Thank you to anyone who reviewed the old version (mainly XellamyBB for making me think about the story again) or added it to their alerts. I hope you like this version... the story is exactly the same just slightly differently written. Reviews are more then welcome.
"I'm sorry, William"
After uttering her feeble attempt at an apology, Buffy turned and started towards the door... She could not stay here, that would only lead to badness.
Reaching for the handle she paused, as a reply made its way through the hazy fog in her mind. Straining to listen she half turned towards the broken-hearted vampire.
"No your not, you don't actually give a damn, and don't try to pretend with me."
Half-laughing Spike started a slow prowl towards the surprised slayer. He had to tell her how he felt... if he did not now he never would.
"You forget, I've seen into your mind, I know what you're thinking. And that's the problem, I KNOW YOU".
The last part was said in such anger it caused Buffy to take a step back. She had not been faced with this version of the master vampire for such a long time; it was hard to sometimes remember what he was. Trying to mask the pain emanating from his chest, Spike changed into game face, to conceal his sorrow. Snarling, he continued,
"I have had it, no more... NO MORE kick the Spike... from here on you will leave me alone. In fact, I'll make it easy on you... I'm gone. As soon as that door hits you on the arse on the way out, I am out of this sodding town. Congratulation's, one more man to add to that long list of yours. Just do me one thing, if you think you can find it in that ice-cold heart of yours. Tell Dawn I'm sorry... and that I tried."
Trying to hold in her emotions, Buffy simply nodded. The simple thought of loosing another person from her life hurt, and the fact that this time it really was her fault, was worse. Trying to think of something to say, she shivered... It was not even cold in the crypt. The thing was she did not love him. She liked him, but that was it. She trusted him... kind of. She was the Slayer she could never trust him completely. Sure, before she had died she knew she would have loved him… who could ignore someone like Spike. However, now she did not love... Full stop.
"I really am sorry Spike, please understand", she whispered the last part so softly; Spike had to lean forward slightly.
Shaking off his game face he looked down, "So am I Buffy. I'm sorry I could not be the man you wanted. Just please listen to me when I say... I love you."
Looking up into her eyes his eyes watered at the thought that this would be the end. Drinking in the sight of her, he tried to fix it into his memory. He would go on to live for eternity and this image of her would be with him until it ended. Summoning up one last ounce of strength, he took an unnecessary breath and uttered his last words to her,
Looking at the heartbroken vampire, Buffy tried to deal with the fact this was her fault, but hearing his plea she looked into his watering eyes, "Goodbye Spike".
She could not argue with him... she did not even know what her view on the subject would be. It was pointless and once again she had lost. Turning quickly, before a sob could escape her throat; she opened the door and stepped into the setting sun.
Upon exiting the graveyard, she heard a loud heartbroken cry, which stopped her in her tracks. Trying to decide whether to turn around, she stood there debating. Before she could make her mind up though, the sound of a loud band echoed through the graveyard, followed closely by the sound of a bike driving off into the unknown.
It was too late.
With a tear sliding down her cheek, she turned and continued the long trek to her house. A trek, which seemed to be getting longer every time she made it.
This was it - no more lovesick vampire... No more guardian... No more lover... No more friend. After tonight, she would be alone.
After all, she was destined to be alone.