1. Thank you sooo much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I had no idea it would go down so well! But I realise it was very dark & not to everyone's tastes so I have a special (but quite short - soory!) chapter for you. Please review this one! :-)
2. I don't own Twlight *eveyone breathes a sigh of relief* No, I'm just not that cool. Stephanie Meyer is - go be nice to her! She might let you play with Jasper!
3. Sorry - there's no DarkJasper in this chapter (he wanted a holiday) and no Alice (too small to hold the pen) but I have tried to dreate the best chapter possible regardless so - ENJOY!!!
I did not deserve to live.
I was the most evil creature in existence.
I had been forgiven for attempted homicide, granted a reprieve in the form of my own personal goddess coming to save me and instead of worshiping the air that kisses her plump lips I attempt to kill her. I try to slaughter my saviour in my sleep.
I'm going to rot in hell. I'll bet there's a space for me next to Hitler. How could I do that to Alice? She was my beautiful saviour, my beam of light in this ever expanding pool of darkness and I try to suffocate her. I want to die if only to put Alice out of her misery. Honestly, it seems like the kindest thing I can do for my only love now is to take myself away from her forever. And there is only one way I can ensure that I never return, in a moment of weakness, to hurt Alice again. Death.
I was curled in a ball; head pressed against the corner of the empty room, bare walls adorned with dust and sticky dark trails criss-crossing the floor with a spider's web of blood.
Physically, I was lying on the stained sheets of the operating room but on every other level I was a million miles below ground - stuck in my own personal hell. I didn't know how long I had been there; time had ceased to exist aeons ago. I kept replaying the pain in Alice's eyes, cleverly veiled but obvious in her open eyes.
She was still there.
Sitting at the end of the operating table, holding a limp hand as she whispered lies meant to sooth and placate which only added to the pain. She had been betrayed, attacked and deceived but she still remained by my side, comforting me?
The thought repulsed me.
I could feel myself drowning in my own self-loathing. My actions were irreparable and unfixable. I had broken the only thing that mattered and I had no way of repairing –
"Jasper, the fact that you regret what you did not do is enough. It shows me that you are still the man I love – and that's all I care about; none of that other stuff matters. You complete me and now that I have found you, I can't live without you. I'm already addicted to you."
A cool palm charged with electricity pressed gently against my tear-stained face. Delicate fingers traced away each tear I had cried over her and tilted my head up, each fairy soft palm cupping a cheek, graceful thumbs tracing invisible patterns on my lips.
My eyes remained firmly fixed on the floor.
I could smell her exquisite scent as she tilted towards me, sending wafts of the most exhilarating aroma I had ever experienced straight at my unprepared senses. I shifted until I was facing the delicate body responsible for the perfume that was quickly destroying my self-control. I kept my eyes focused on the floor, determined not to look up.
Then my world stopped turning.
And I felt heaven brush my lips softly, with a fragile kiss too sweet too be true, to sublime to be real. Her divine lips lingered, their touch igniting passions burning deep within my core as the delicious sensations pouring from her. My eyes, which had closed in reverence were shocked open as I pressed my lips to hers, deepening the kiss to the point of ecstasy.
My lips were moulded to hers as they danced together, locking me in a prison of enchantment form which I never wanted to escape. My tawny eyes were locked in a passionate outpouring of love with a pair of the most radiant gold.
I wrapped my arms around her delicate body as I pressed her to me, fulfilling my desperate need for contact with the most sublime creature in the world. Her gentle fingers ran through my hair as I slid my hands further round her perfect frame, eliminating any space between us.
God, I loved her.
Tilting my head slightly, as our lips met with impossible intensity; I closed my eyes blissfully unable to process this much love.
She was divine.
Slowly, as the tempo of our lips decreased and my kisses became more adoring and reverent of Alice's overwhelming perfection, gentle hands caressed my face; as our first heavenly kiss ended with a lingering sigh of complete contentment.
I gazed into her huge eyes framed by thick dark lashes which brushed my cheek as she raised her gaze to mine, revealing a face filled with excitement and euphoria. I released my breath slowly, not wanting to break the spell surrounding us.
"I love you." I breathed into her ear and watched as the fire in her eyes sparked with elation.
"I love you too."
It was all the moment needed.
I sat next to my Bella on the piano stool staring blindly at the ivory keys and trying to block the thoughts of Alice and Jasper who were mentally screaming their love for each other as they kissed for the first time.
I began chastising Alice before I remembered she couldn't hear me. It was useless planning to tell her off as the briefest glance into her thoughts quickly had me assured she would not be escaping into the future.
I could warn her verbally, but I doubted she would hear me anyway – she seemed hypnotised by Jasper's presence and completely unaware of her surroundings. I had never seen Alice this consumed, a thought which scared me.
Alice was fiercely loyal and often committed herself fully to difficult projects she knew very little about. She could never be happy with a vapid or simple partner like Emmett and Rose but she would be equally dissatisfied with a relationship as predictable and classical as that between Bella and I.
I often worried about her and had decided that a dominant personality may be what she was searching for. I had believed that she would only be able to respect someone who could stand up to her and hold his own; however, it appears I was wrong.
Jasper, despite his compromised mental state, is flawless in Alice's eyes. For someone with the capability to see everything she is remarkably blind when it comes to Jasper. I turn to gaze at my Bella, who after all this time still takes my breath away.
"She won't give him up. She loves him too much." I tell her sadly. Doesn't Alice realise how many men there are out there, men who are actually worthy of her?
Bella grasps my meaning instantly "Of course she does. He is a part of her." She pauses uncertainly before continuing "You might as well accept it and try to help." I sigh, knowing she is right and that Alice will never love anyone other than Jasper.
"But love, Jasper tried to ki-"
"No, he didn't" Bella interrupted me harshly, staring straight into my eyes. "That wasn't Jasper – it was someone else. We can't blame Jasper for actions that he has no control over."
"But he is mentally ill! She can't change him in his current condition and psychotherapy takes years."
"A few years are nothing to a vampire – you know that. She will wait for him; as long as it takes she will wait." Bella predicted confidently.
"You psychic too, now?" I teased softly, playing with a strand of silky brown hair.
"Nope, I just know Alice. She will find a way to change him so we may as well help her. Don't you want her to be happy?"
"Of course..." My voice trailed off. How could I explain that I wanted her to be happy but with someone else? "You're right." I accepted, still unconvinced.
"I will help Jasper."
So?? What did you think??
First kisses with Jasper to everyone who reviews!!!