The Horde of Girlfriends

Summary: The school day was over as Jojo lay on his bed, but on that speck on that clover, something dark lay ahead . . . Jojo x OC/Self-insert parody.

A/N: When I write this, I am not targeting any specific person, story, or character. Any correlation with such is completely and entirely coincidental. Thank you, and please enjoy. ^.^


The school day was over,

as Jojo lay on his bed,

but on that speck on that clover,

something dark lay ahead.


Jojo was weary,

and he then closed his eyes,

He knew the time clearly,

And it truly did fly.


Then a knock crashed at his door,

as he turned his light on,

He glared at the floor;

for all his quiet had gone.


A small sister burst in,

with her hair in a mess,

but her face was a grin -

and Jojo frowned in distress.


"Jojo, come on!"

She giggled on cue,

"Come down to the lawn,

'Cause the mob is for you."


Now Jojo was baffled,

as I'm sure you could guess,

but his sister couldn't be hassled,

to say anything less.


He strode down the stairs,

as blank as can be,

he had nary a care,

of what he'd soon see.


But then the sound met his ears –

the noise, oh, the noise!

Something was near,

And he stiffened his poise.


His sisters were staring,

as they stifled their laughs;

Jojo was glaring,

his patience in half.


Then he opened the door,

and the scene met his eyes;

T'was not one, not two, not four,

but hundreds of salient lies.


As far as the town,

stretched girls upon girls,

they were up, they were down,

all screaming and tugging and pulling on curls.


Some were quite tall,

like lost, elfin queens,

Others were small –

and perhaps weren't yet teens.


All were quite pretty;

he saw that at once,

but they were also quite petty –

he just had a hunch.


The girls were all fighting,

in a gigantic cat-fight ,

he thought some were biting;

It was truly a sight!


But then he was spotted,

and Jojo's eyes widened,

his stomach had knotted,

but the girls' faces had brightened.


"Jojo!" they screamed,

and he felt remarkably faint;

T'was the fangirls, it seemed,

with their dark, lunatic stain.


"Marry me!" one cried,

with hair so perfectly groomed;

Jojo wanted to hide,

from all the terror that loomed.


But the onslaught kept on,

and Jojo clawed at the wall;

all the girls fawned,

at his desperate, scared crawl.


"Don't be like that!"

another cried out,

she had a cute pageboy hat,

but seemed naught but a lout.


"Why won't you love me?"

wailed yet another,

"We were meant to be;

Please be my lover!"


A small one in tears,

sobbed without end,

Jojo covered his ears –

Did they all mean to contend?


But this wasn't the worst;

there was far more to come,

Poor Jojo was cursed,

by an ominous hum.


The girls suddenly hushed,

all straining to hear,

none of them gushed,

as something drew near.


Then hum grew to roar,

making all Whoville shake,

and then the ground tore,

ending the quake.


Oh, the OC's were bad,

with their dark, cliché ways,

but they all had been had,

by the self-insert craze.


And flocks upon flocks,

poured out of the ground,

their eyes were like hawks',

draining all sound.


But how were they Sue's,

when based on their writer?

They might blow a fuse,

if you decided to right her.


No, they were flawless!

and false they were not;

they were quite lawless –

but never got caught.


"Kawaii desu ne?"

they exclaimed with a shout,

and their Japanese way,

made Jojo want out.


And a chorus of 'mine's,

rose from the crowd;

but he'd had only four lines,

for crying out loud!


Could this be the end?

Was this Jojo's doom?

For how could he fend,

Against his fangirl-dark tomb?


No, it wasn't quite yet,

perhaps there was hope;

there was one more to be met,

how would the girls cope?


The front door flew wide,

and her eyes were like fire,

the sane ran to hide,

for the situation was dire.


Who could this be?

Why, it was none other,

than a real parent, you see –

it was Jojo's dear mother.


It was Sally McDodd,

with all her protection,

and the poor little sods,

couldn't fight her maternal affection.


The girls scattered and fled,

as Sally strode forth with a broom,

for what could be said,

in the face of such doom?


The girls didn't know,

how to deal with a parent,

who loved her kids so,

her compassion apparent.


Jojo fled back inside,

as his mother stormed out,

his stomach was tied,

but he was safe from the shouts.


It didn't seem long,

until Whoville was quiet,

nothing went wrong,

after that riot.


For Jojo is owned,

by the studios Fox;

the girls may have moaned,

but the copyright locks.


This is a rather long poem. XD And although I can't rhyme, I hope you liked anyway. And if you review, you get a virtual cookie.