The Horde of Girlfriends

Summary: The school day was over as Jojo lay on his bed, but on that speck on that clover, something dark lay ahead . . . Jojo x OC/Self-insert parody.

A/N: When I write this, I am not targeting any specific person, story, or character. Any correlation with such is completely and entirely coincidental. Thank you, and please enjoy. ^.^

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The school day was over,

as Jojo lay on his bed,

but on that speck on that clover,

something dark lay ahead.

----

Jojo was weary,

and he then closed his eyes,

He knew the time clearly,

And it truly did fly.

----

Then a knock crashed at his door,

as he turned his light on,

He glared at the floor;

for all his quiet had gone.

----

A small sister burst in,

with her hair in a mess,

but her face was a grin -

and Jojo frowned in distress.

----

"Jojo, come on!"

She giggled on cue,

"Come down to the lawn,

'Cause the mob is for you."

----

Now Jojo was baffled,

as I'm sure you could guess,

but his sister couldn't be hassled,

to say anything less.

----

He strode down the stairs,

as blank as can be,

he had nary a care,

of what he'd soon see.

----

But then the sound met his ears –

the noise, oh, the noise!

Something was near,

And he stiffened his poise.

----

His sisters were staring,

as they stifled their laughs;

Jojo was glaring,

his patience in half.

----

Then he opened the door,

and the scene met his eyes;

T'was not one, not two, not four,

but hundreds of salient lies.

----

As far as the town,

stretched girls upon girls,

they were up, they were down,

all screaming and tugging and pulling on curls.

----

Some were quite tall,

like lost, elfin queens,

Others were small –

and perhaps weren't yet teens.

----

All were quite pretty;

he saw that at once,

but they were also quite petty –

he just had a hunch.

----

The girls were all fighting,

in a gigantic cat-fight ,

he thought some were biting;

It was truly a sight!

----

But then he was spotted,

and Jojo's eyes widened,

his stomach had knotted,

but the girls' faces had brightened.

----

"Jojo!" they screamed,

and he felt remarkably faint;

T'was the fangirls, it seemed,

with their dark, lunatic stain.

----

"Marry me!" one cried,

with hair so perfectly groomed;

Jojo wanted to hide,

from all the terror that loomed.

----

But the onslaught kept on,

and Jojo clawed at the wall;

all the girls fawned,

at his desperate, scared crawl.

----

"Don't be like that!"

another cried out,

she had a cute pageboy hat,

but seemed naught but a lout.

----

"Why won't you love me?"

wailed yet another,

"We were meant to be;

Please be my lover!"

----

A small one in tears,

sobbed without end,

Jojo covered his ears –

Did they all mean to contend?

----

But this wasn't the worst;

there was far more to come,

Poor Jojo was cursed,

by an ominous hum.

----

The girls suddenly hushed,

all straining to hear,

none of them gushed,

as something drew near.

----

Then hum grew to roar,

making all Whoville shake,

and then the ground tore,

ending the quake.

----

Oh, the OC's were bad,

with their dark, cliché ways,

but they all had been had,

by the self-insert craze.

----

And flocks upon flocks,

poured out of the ground,

their eyes were like hawks',

draining all sound.

----

But how were they Sue's,

when based on their writer?

They might blow a fuse,

if you decided to right her.

----

No, they were flawless!

and false they were not;

they were quite lawless –

but never got caught.

----

"Kawaii desu ne?"

they exclaimed with a shout,

and their Japanese way,

made Jojo want out.

----

And a chorus of 'mine's,

rose from the crowd;

but he'd had only four lines,

for crying out loud!

----

Could this be the end?

Was this Jojo's doom?

For how could he fend,

Against his fangirl-dark tomb?

----

No, it wasn't quite yet,

perhaps there was hope;

there was one more to be met,

how would the girls cope?

----

The front door flew wide,

and her eyes were like fire,

the sane ran to hide,

for the situation was dire.

----

Who could this be?

Why, it was none other,

than a real parent, you see –

it was Jojo's dear mother.

----

It was Sally McDodd,

with all her protection,

and the poor little sods,

couldn't fight her maternal affection.

----

The girls scattered and fled,

as Sally strode forth with a broom,

for what could be said,

in the face of such doom?

----

The girls didn't know,

how to deal with a parent,

who loved her kids so,

her compassion apparent.

----

Jojo fled back inside,

as his mother stormed out,

his stomach was tied,

but he was safe from the shouts.

----

It didn't seem long,

until Whoville was quiet,

nothing went wrong,

after that riot.

----

For Jojo is owned,

by the studios Fox;

the girls may have moaned,

but the copyright locks.

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This is a rather long poem. XD And although I can't rhyme, I hope you liked anyway. And if you review, you get a virtual cookie.

~KiraKira-Kirimi