Disclaimer: I only wish they were mine. Kudos to Stephanie Meyer and Katy Perry!

One Shot: Thinking of You

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

I stared up at the ceiling of my truck as for the first time in many months I listened to the radio. I dared to turn it on and now look what I had done. I was a mess after the first few lines. I shook my head and continued to listen to the tune that had caught me up in the whirlwind of emotions that controlled my life.

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Jake was anything but second best. He was the best, most kind friend I had ever had. I didn't deserve him. He loved me and I let him love me. Because I am selfish. Because I can't breath without him and I can't live without him. Because without him, Edward's memory would reduce me to dust.


Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

I stared across the cliffs at the sunset. The sky was gold and it was horribly close to the color of the non thirsty eyes that haunted me. It wasn't fair to Jacob. Every time he touched me, I wished for someone else.


You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

Well I tested the waters, Edward, I thought bitterly, and still nothing. Jacob still gave me nothing like you did.


He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

I can't keep hurting him like this. He knows that you're in my every thought, my every movement, my every word. Edward, it's not fair to Jacob. My Jacob.


Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

I wanted nothing more than I wanted Edward. The only thing I wanted just as much as I wanted him was to have eternity with him. I can't let him go; I was stupid enough to let him leave. Now look where it had gotten me.

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes

Oh how I wanted to look into those eyes, and sink into the colour of them for the rest of my life. The rest of my pointless existence.


Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
stay....

Come back, Edward, please. Tears were falling down my face. I had no power to go on with this sham. This life. I don't know how I got out of the truck to the edge of the cliffs. But the next thing and the last thing I knew was falling. I let myself fall.