Shot through the heart.

Summary: I say hit him where it hurts the most! And she did just that, aiming for his HUGE ego. Sasuke and Sakura one-shot, done as a challenge from hypheniated!


He stood, panting, as he hid behind an old, rickety shed, holding his large beam rifle to his chest tightly. He was surrounded by foes, most of them armed with weapons better than his, and he had two options two get out of the mess, either he killed everyone by some unknown miracle, or they killed him.

His entire team had been annihilated when they had been cornered in a death trap room, showered by bullets their enemies fired ruthlessly from their rapid machine guns. He had been the only one in blue to survive, and even so, he hadn't been able to escape unscathed. The wound on his leg bled red steadily, his armor had been cracked and pierced in several places, and his crystal mask had broken to a million pieces. His vision was fogged with red, and he was hardly able to remain standing as he wobbled on his unsteady legs.

He gave one shuddering breath, trying to gather up his courage as the red team began to close in on him, all of them standing tall, already savoring the taste of sweet victory after many hours of having lost to the blue company. This was the first time since they had started that they had been able to corner their enemies and leave only their best soldier alive. Not even the best, however, could fight against so many foes at once.

The last blue soldier gripped his beam rifle tighter, thinking a million strategies per second, and not really coming up with any that would let him live, if he killed one of them, the other would react faster than he could turn around, effectively obliterating him from the face of the planet. Really, there was no way out other than suicide, or maybe if he worked something with his plasma grenades…

No, he ran out of them on his last escape, and now all he had was his trusty weapon he held ever so tightly against himself. A suicide tactic would never work, and all he could really do was try, and die like a dog.

Sasuke gripped his controller tightly, wishing he hadn't listened to Naruto when the blonde had the bright idea of choosing that room as their base of operations. The blonde had never been good at Halo 2, so now he was wondering whatever had possessed him to actually listen to the idiot. He panted as he stared at the screen intently, his entire dead team behind him, cheering him on. Naruto was especially enthusiastic, despite the multiple bruises he had received from his other teammates.

Beside him on the large couch sat Itachi, hands on his silver controller as he aimed at the shed Sasuke's player stood behind. Kisame raised his rocket launcher, ready to give the kid hell after so many crushing defeats dealt by the talented teen. The rest of Itachi's gang of friends, formally known as the Akatsuki, disbanded after their leader Pein, and substitute leader Madara had been thrown in jail for illegal crap no one in the room really cared about, sat at the edge of their seats. Finally, after many ego deflating losses, Sasuke was finally going to get what was coming to him.

Behind the large couch, Sasuke's childhood male friends stood still. They had been playing all day long, Itachi's gang against them, passing the controllers equally between them. The chores were on the line of this last victory, and since Itachi and his band of misfits had all lost their touch at the game, the younger team had been kicking their asses to kingdom come until Naruto decided to mess up on their last 'everything or nothing' bet.

Sasuke began to sweat, his hands shaking as he tried not to think of the humongous pile of dishes waiting for them in the kitchen. Stupid Naruto, stupid brother, stupid bet! He thought, his own pride blinding him as he tried to imagine the many ways everyone in the red tem could just drop dead. Damn it! I'm going to lose!

Behind them, Sakura walked by, an empty tub of vanilla ice-cream tucked under her arm as she stopped to watch the screen. She and the girls had also been invited to the large Uchiha Summer home to spend their vacations lounging like queens they usually weren't, except for Hinata, but she was too cute to be snobby despite her large amount of money. Sasuke and Itachi had invited everyone they knew, including her and the girls, and even though both stoic men had promised fun, after three days straight of only playing video games, and not letting the girls anywhere near their precious controllers, the girls had left them to their own thing. Just now, she, Ino, Tenten, Karin, and Hinata had been on the upper balcony, sunbathing in the pleasant weather, eating ice-cream and chatting about everything and nothing.

She watched as Kisame blasted the only wall between Sasuke and a bullet to the brain.

"Bye-bye, sucker! Say hello to YEARS of chores!" Kisame said triumphantly, aiming his large weapon at Sasuke as Itachi did the same, leveling his sniper rifle to the stop between the blue player's eyes.

Their target vanished; however, as Sakura stole the controller, and effectively dodged both the rocket launcher blast and the bullet Itachi had shot at the blue captain. "Hey!" Sasuke shouted, reaching for the remote Sakura had stolen from his grip not two seconds ago. The girl evaded his groping hands as she aimed and fired at Itachi, cutting his character's head off in milliseconds. The red armored body fell to the ground from its position on a building balcony, dead before it hit the ground with a hard thump. Itachi dropped his controller, astonished.

Kisame went next, shot straight through the head as Sakura scaled the wall, fired a long, red laser beam at him, and jumped off the cliff before his rocket launcher could cause the suddenly fast moving character any real damage. Kisame was staring at his hands, the controller toppling to the floor carelessly.

The Akatsuki stared at her screen as Sakura jumped, all of them wishing for something that wouldn't happen. Kisame was already dead, and even if the fall killed her, she would still win. The large BLUE TEAM WINS letters appeared on her screen, and Sakura handed Sasuke the controller calmly, not at all perturbed by the fact that she had just owned two of the most deadly teammates when playing Halo 2 together all by herself in a matter of instants.

Sakura stood up, she had been leaning on the couch as she did the impossible, dusted herself, took the empty ice-cream tub from Shikamaru, and marched straight out of the room.

Every male in the room stared at the screen, unsure of what they were seeing. She had just… she just… defeated two people not even Sasuke could beat alone so easily, like it had been a simple matter of dirt on her shoe! Like it was a game! …Well, technically, it was, but that wasn't the point!

Naruto was the first to react, sitting up as he cheered. "All right! We won! Sakura-chan, that was so cool!" He got up, running after the pink haired girl into the kitchen, speaking a mile a minute as he narrated every movement she had done with detailed precision and amusing sound effects.

Sakura laughed, waving him away as she threw the tub of ice-cream into the trash can, "Oh, it was nothing! I saw Sasuke on the verge of losing, so I thought maybe I could help!"

Naruto nodded, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "He was! It was kind of my fault though, but everything is better now that you won for us! Now Itachi and the guys get to do all of the chores for as long as our vacations last!"

Sasuke stood at the doorway, head down, his entire body surrounded by a mysterious aura, as Sakura turned, a new tub of ice-cream tucked under her arm protectively. She stopped, nearly bumping into the dark haired man's wall-like chest as she tried to pass and get back to her friends.

"Sasuke, move please!" Sakura said cheerily, completely ignoring his menacing stance as he slammed the doorway with his fist.

Sakura put a hand on his chest, and smiling, pushed with all of her strength. He didn't budge an inch, and Sakura glared at him demanding he move out of her way or else.

He hissed.

She huffed, getting annoyed, but knew that getting angry with Sasuke would only worsen things. "What is it?"

"You…" Sakura could have sworn the eyes peeking at her behind his dark bangs were a swirling dark red instead of their usual black, "You took my controller and you… you used it!"

Sakura blinked, not really seeing where his anger was coming from, and where his one-sided argument was going. "Yeah, so?"

Wrong answer.

Sasuke actually growled, towering over her threateningly. Sakura however, only raised an incredulous eyebrow at him, already used to his child-like tantrums at the most inexplicable things. "You touched my controller and used my player… and won against two people that would have torn me to pieces."

She repeated her previous response, not caring and not seeing how badly his pride had been wounded.

If Sasuke had been a dog, he would have been baring fangs at the insolent female before him. "You stole my victory."

Sakura looked down at her ice-cream worriedly, wondering if all of this stalling would melt it. The girls would kill her if she went up with a soupy treat instead of the cold, frozen one they loved so much. Damn it, they would skin her alive… she thought, ignoring the seething teen before her.

"SAKURA." He snarled, tired of her complete and total indifference toward his current state of being.

"Yes?" her voice was honey-sweet, and Sasuke had a hard time ignoring the little voice in his head that told him to back off, grovel for his life, and promise her millions of meaningless things before things got out of hand. He locked that little voice in a tight corner, determined to make the girl in front of him see exactly how much damage she'd done.

"Play me." He said simply, but gave her no choice as he grabbed her arm; wretched the ice-cream out of her hands, threw it at Naruto with strict instructions to put it in the cooler, and stomped his way back to the TV room with Sakura dragging at his heels. He practically threw her at the couch, and then hopped over the back, grabbing his controller from where he'd left it. "Chose your weapon and make it quick, I am going to kick your ass."

By then, Sakura was starting to get really pissed off. She then snatched Itachi's controller, the elder Uchiha literally dropping in her lap and throwing himself across the room and away from her. Kisame followed him, both Akatsuki members having been in enough dangerous situations to know when a woman was not to be messed with. The rest of the guys stealthily made their way to the other side of the room, intent on not making Sakura turn her flashing green eyes their way. They'd rather not die young, thank you very much.

Sakura picked her beginning weapon, a small but powerful one-shot at a time gun they had unlocked with a cheat code. Alien weapons were no longer barred from their multiplayer fights. Her Magnum-like weapon glistened as Sakura chose her stats. Beside her, Sasuke snorted and picked his favorite weapon, a large Brute plasma rifle that would kill anything, even if dodged.

The girl turned to Sasuke as he picked their battle ground. "Let's make this a one shot deciding battle. We'll each take five steps from a center point, and at the fifth step, we'll turn around and fire, and see who gets killed first."

Sasuke snorted again with a sneer. Even if she managed to shoot him first, his Brute plasma rifle was a fast shot, that, and even if he missed, her character would die. A quick-draw match would only lessen her chances to zero. He smirked, already savoring his victory. "You got it."

The girls, having tired of waiting for Sakura to come upstairs with their icy goodness that would make their fingers sticky, their stomachs full, and their attitudes giddy, came downstairs to see what had held their friend up for so long. They smiled when they saw Sakura sitting beside Sasuke, eyes intent on the screen that flashed numbers before her. It seemed Sakura had challenged Sasuke at the game she had become known as UNBEATABLE. Since it had come out, Sakura had made the game her own, and played it so often, sometimes she forgot everything else. Sasuke was mistaken if he thought he could defeat the master at gunning games. If she challenged him to a quick-draw, he was as good as dead the moment he agreed.

Ino poked Shikamaru, who jumped at the contact; afraid Sakura had a doppelganger and was coming to get him. The blonde grinned and pointed toward the screen as both Sasuke and Sakura took up a vehicle, heading toward the spot they had assigned as their fighting ground. "What kind of battle are we looking at?"

Naruto spoke up for Shikamaru, trying to keep his voice down. "A quick-draw!"

Hinata actually gave an unladylike snort, "Sasuke's a goner."

Sasori blinked, not sure where the pale heiress had gotten the sudden high-and-mighty attitude, but feeling pissed off by her comment, he said. "Why is that?"

Hidan spoke up, not liking the mystery; he never had patience for them. "What the hell are you talking about? Are you saying that the bastard that handed our asses to us on a silver fucking platter is about to be beaten by a girl?"

Tenten bristled, and the every sane man in the room shrunk from her furious gaze. "Sakura just so happens to kick fucking ass at that game, especially if she's got her handy-dandy one-shot gun!" She imitated Hidan's speech, seething as she bared her oddly pointy teeth at them.

Karin nodded, placing her hands on her hips as she glared at a certain silver haired punk who burst out laughing. "Just you try playing against her Suigetsu! She'd bring the fight so hard and so fast to your doorstep, your head would spin!"

Both Itachi and Kisame, wizened by their two second play against her, crossed their arms and agreed with the girls. "They're right," the elder Uchiha said, "she's quick, smart, and knows how to use her weapons properly. She's a dangerous opponent."

Kisame laughed, bitter but feeling better as he watched the players take their first two steps away from the appointed center point. "Sasuke doesn't stand a chance."

Sakura's character took a big gulp of air, griping her weapon tightly. Her master's hands were steady on the controller, the calm seeping into her. The shot she would take would be the decisive bullet to put an end to Sasuke's idiotic MEN ARE BETTER ideals. Suddenly feeling revamped, her character put her weapon on a strap at her side, ready for the quick-draw.

On the other side of the field, taking his steps slowly as Sakura counted, Sasuke's player stood straight as he strapped the large weapon at his back, feeling his usual master holding his every action in control. The woman who was now playing as the other character was an amazing master; she had used his speed, his weapon, and his strength to their maximum capacity. Though he loathed the thought of losing, he knew that his current owner had no chance against the prowess of the other player. He feared a single shot would be his down fall. He gulped, and steadied his breath as he took his fourth step.

"Five," Sakura called emotionlessly, but her hands were quick as she whirled her character around, more than a second ahead of Sasuke. The gun was out of its holster before Sasuke could even get a proper grip on his, and a bullet penetrated his chest armor speedily, killing him in instants. His player dropped to the ground, lifeless, as Sakura stood up, smirking at the PLAYER 2 WINS that appeared on her screen along with the status of her victory.

Sasuke dropped his controller, shocked beyond eloquence as he stared at the screen in disbelief. She just creamed him in .02 seconds without a moment's hesitation. She beat him in the game he had once thought no one but his brother could hand him his ass at. Of all people, a girl, Sakura, just… massacred him ruthlessly. The world was ending.

Sakura watched with savage satisfaction as Armageddon flashed before Sasuke's eyes and on his face. How she enjoyed savoring a sweet victory, feeling the manly defeat practically oozing out of Sasuke. Ah, she loved the smell of "BWAHAHAHAHA! I WIN, ASSHOLE!" in the afternoon.

She turned from the amusing look of 'Oh my God' on Sasuke's face to glance round the room, noticing her smirking friends and the gaping males on the corner to the far right of the room. "Hey girls. What are you doing down here?"

Ino withheld the smirk and evil laughter that was threatening to pop out of her mouth and smite the shocked men around her. "You took too long, Forehead."

Sakura snorted, "Oh, I just had to do a couple of things, set some people straight, humiliate a certain stick up his ass bastard, the usual."

Karin chuckled, closing Suigetsu's open mouth with a slender finger. "I can tell."

Hinata laughed, a suddenly evil tone in her usually innocent giggles. "Sakura, you're my heroine."

The pink haired girl winked at her friend. "And you're my cocaine, darlin'." She said, walking around Sasuke's frozen form and headed for the kitchen. "Let me get our ice-cream so we can get back up to sun bathe."

The girls nodded, and the guys in the room suddenly noticed how all of them, including Sakura, were dressed only in their swimming suits. "Mind if we join you?" Neji asked, wrapping a mischievous arm around Tenten's waist.

Karin slapped Suigetsu's wondering hand on her taunt belly away, growling even as her face turned red. "Keep it up, and I'll cut it off from the wrist." The silver haired man smirked, and didn't hesitate to bring her into his arms, nipping her neck affectionately.

"At least the most important part will still be intact." His smirk was nothing if not perverted.

Hinata fainted at the vulgar innuendo, only to be caught by Naruto, who gave her his foxy grin. "Don't fall asleep yet, the fun is just beginning."

Neji promptly punched the blonde, sending him sailing into Sasuke.

Sasuke dodged the errant blonde, standing as he was suddenly enveloped by a furious aura. "Sakura…"

Itachi watched his little brother stomp into the kitchen, ignoring the blonde female as she untangled herself from Shikamaru's arms. "I worry for Sakura."

Ino made the sound of the animal Sakura usually compared her with, "Trust me, if I'm right, we should worry if we have any condoms."

Hinata fell in a dead heap to the floor, face beet red. Kiba poked her ribs, wondering if she'd revive after that fatal blow delivered by the open blonde female. "Ino, I think you killed her."

In the kitchen, Sakura was humming happily as she reached the fridge; she tried to open the door to the cooler only to find that it was stuck fast by a pair of arms than encircled her head. Recognizing the pale skin that could only belong to one man, the only one brave enough to cage her like this, she looked back into the dark eyes of her childhood friend.

Sasuke towered over her, his entire body tense has he stared her down. "Sakura," he growled voice husky from the fact that he didn't use it much… or maybe there was another reason.

She glared at him, tired of having to deal with his prissy little attitude and not being able to fight him. She hated the fact that her heart and mind didn't let her nay-say the boy she had fallen in love with since she was a little girl. She hated the way he said her name made her feel.

When his lips descended upon hers, she hated herself for not being able to do anything other than hold him close, and kiss him back fervently.

Kisame looked down at Itachi, shaking his head. "Damn it, we lost. We're doomed to chores for life, man."

Itachi smirked, looking back at his old partner. "I think that out of all of us, it's my foolish little brother that lost nearly everything today. Including his fear for showing his true feelings."

Sakura could have sworn, as she made out with Sasuke, that she heard Ino shout off-key. "Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! Darling, you give love… a BAD NAME!"

The End

Ah, I love Ino. She's so cool, and kind, and absolutely feminine. She's also evil. I can connect with her perfectly. The song she sang is called, obviously, Shot Through the Heart by Bon Jovi.

Were any of you able to follow my immensely confusing writing at all? This is just pure crack made for an awesome author I admire. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

By the way, anything related to Halo 2 was mostly researched (asking around, really), I've only played the game twice, and if I got the weapons wrong, don't crucify me. It's fanfiction, fiction, meaning the facts aren't allowed to tap into out fun. XD I'm sorry to all Halo 2 fans, but I didn't have time to look up the proper weapons, but I have to assume they have at least ONE tiny little 48-calibre gun, right?

Sasuke was pwned in his favorite game by a girl. I laugh at him.