DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way, shape, or form own the plot or chatacters or manga for that ever-so-popular anime: 'NARUTO'. No matter HOW badly i wanted it when I saw it on eBay... Damn... If only I had took a chance... (cries)

Chapter One


I have always found myself asking questions about everything. All my life I have been asking myself how the world works and what will become of my future. Well, I am a smart person, and quite the catch, if I do say so myself (and so do the fangirls, but that is a scary and unwanted thought to be having) … Therefore, the one question I always ask repeatedly more than any other is:


My answer is this:

I don't want a girl. I want a boy. Moreover, not just any boy; the only boy I can't have. Itachi Uchiha.

Yes, you've heard me correctly. It's sinful and wrong, but I just can't help but want that hot piece of ass all to myself! You would too, if you had to live with him everyday- watching him walk around the living room in only his boxers; riding low across his hips. The way he lusciously swings them as he walks. The way his skin glows in the sunlight and moonlight- just begging to be touched. His lips that are so full, smooth and oh-so kissable! The way he knows everything about you with only a glance. Just the thought sends my body into overdrive every night! (That part I can do without because my chores take longer what with all of the sheets I wash daily)

Nevertheless, no matter how long he may look at me, I know he will never see my feelings: the dirty thoughts that give me an extra 5 minutes in the shower! What I wouldn't give for that huge cock to be buried inside of my ass! Oh, yeah... he had a nice one. Eight inches and THICK! …Let's just say I know my way around a shower curtain… but that was once long ago and it had cost me 50 punches in the face, 20 in the stomach, and a broken wrist. Boy did I have a hard time explaining that to our parents… and I've learned my lesson. SERIOUSLY.

…But I am now 18 and he is 23. We still live together, because our dad was sent away for abuse charges and my mom decided to move away a couple of miles. I know what you're thinking…

"Poor Sasuke-kun! It must be soooooo hard on you~!! (sick, disgusting, chibi sad face no jutsu!)"

You know what I say to that??? Huh?

"…Whoop-dee-FUCKING-do!!!" Yeah. I don't care. I'm not complaining. At least mom let us keep the house. We're better off.

But, forgetting the olden days… Even though the wanting is TORTURE, at least I get to spend quality time with my loving, darling, blessed Aniki!...

"SASUKE!" The loud yet strangely calm voice of Itachi called out.

Snapping out of my daydreams, I opened my eyes and tried my best not to fall off the couch. Through all of my reminiscing, I had not realized that I had fallen asleep. Who could blame me? There is nothing to do in our new apartment and it's not like I get any sleep at night…

"What do you want?" I spat out, putting my calm mask back on, giving him a glare. I closed the manga I was reading and regained my cool. Pshh! …Cool. …Right. Nothing is cool when I'm around Itachi.

He just rolled his eyes and threw a pile of dirty laundry at my face. "It's your turn. I did them all week."

I threw the garments on the floor and scoffed. "BULLSHIT! I was the one who did it all week! You were out all the time partying with your weird-ass friends and going out to nightclubs, getting drunk off of your rocker!"

Itachi's friends were weird. Because of this, I never really got the chance to know them all too well… the only thing I know is that they (including Itachi) are apart of a secret club that they won't tell me about. Aniki says I'm 'too young' to join…

He gave me a look of pure (fake) bewilderment. "…Really? I specifically remember staying here, nursing my poor little Otouto back to health during his flu, all the while telling mom how proud I was of you for making it into college… Hmm. That's weird... Maybe I should call mom and tell her that it was all just a dream and that you have no job, nor did you ever have intentions of going to one in the first place.."

My eyes widened and I gathered the laundry back into my arms. "NEVER MIND! I'm doing them! Don't tell Kaa-san! Please, Aniki!" I begged in the saddest voice I could muster. Itachi smirked and poked my forehead in triumph. "Good."

And as quickly as he came, he left me to my lonely fantasies…

…Okay. The whole thing about my brother being "loving", "darling", and "blessed" was bullshit… I hate it! Living with Itachi is torture! PURE, unadulterated TORTURE! He is such a hard ass! Everything has to be perfect. I've asked myself why that is, as well. The only solution Naruto, Neji, Gaara, Kiba, and I could think of was: "Because Itachi himself is perfect?"

Yeah… I know the great stone Sasuke Uchiha having friends is a bit sketchy, but these are the only people at school I could relate to…

Oh, yeah… that reminds me… I invited them over so we could all watch the all-night marathon of 'Scarred'… heh. I forgot…

I glanced at the clock in our kitchen and did the math in my head. "It's 7:55, and the guys are coming over at 8:00… adding on to that, Itachi doesn't know they are coming and hate surprises… How is this going to play out?"

Countdown to explosion in:




I instantly dropped all of the clothes on the floor, screaming "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING!!"

There were a few seconds of silence, and then a stoic "Language, foolish little Otouto…" from upstairs. Heh. He won't be so damn stoic when he hears what's going down tonight…

I sprinted into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator doors, practically ripping them off of their hinges. My eyes darted frantically around the empty box for any signs of edible life forms. just I feared, there were none. Normally, I could just sneak my friends into my room and throw them some bagel bites or something and Itachi would never know. But if there is no food, then I will have to ask my brother for pizza money and explain to him why I needed it…

I swallowed dryly and tried to regain my voice. "Umm… Aniki?"

"Yes…? Whatever could be the matter, my dear little Sasuke…? You know I'll do anything for you."

There is was. That sickly sweet voice my brother used. It sounded cute and innocent, but in reality it was as if he was saying "Tell me what you're doing. I swear to GOD that if it is going to cost me money I'll kick your ass in front of everyone outside of our apartment! So be a good boy, and just forget about it… unless you want to die tonight." THAT'S what it sounded like.

I swallowed again, trying not to throw up. "I need money for pizza."

I heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs and soon enough, Itachi was standing before me, arms crossed and eyes staring deep inside my soul. He was daring me to lie to him. "I'm listening…"

"Umm… Well… I kinda…"


The doorbell rang. NOT helping.


"Go on…"


"I kinda need the money because I-"

Just before I could finish my sentence, the door busted in and a hyperactive blonde was charging my way, a fist pulled back, aimed at my face. One step to the right and he ran into the cabinets.

"That" I finally replied to him, staring down at Naruto, who was knocked unconscious.

Itachi nodded, all the while never blinking or looking away from me. It was kinda creepy… "He isn't the only one… is he Otouto?" He knew, like always.

Neji and Gaara walked inside nonchalantly and waved at Itachi like the whole scene was nothing, (well… It really wasn't. Naruto did that at least once a month) A simultaneous "Yo".

Itachi nodded towards them and then gave me a 20. "I like double pepperoni, no cheese… and put the crust on the top, not the bottom…"

Everyone stared at him like he was crazy. But I knew. He always made up crazy orders that he knew no one could be able to go through with… He says it's a good way to sue and get thousands… He also tried it at Burger King, asking for a BigMac. When they said no, he was going to sue them for 'Not letting him have it his way'.


He walked back upstairs "call me when Scarred is on. I'm in the mood to see someone horribly wounded today… Then we can try something new…" he called in a strangely happy voice.

Boy… this is going to be a fun night…

A/N: well, that's the end of chapter one! Yayness! I hope that you all got a couple of chuckles out of it at least. So I ask you politely to review. Praise, flame, whatever! I don't care.

But Sasuke will need the flames. He plans on baking cookies later…