Disclaimer: "Hey Reggie, think of a funny way to say I don't own twilight." "You're a stupid woman."
(My boyfriend said this in the most loving way possible, as in laughing and apologizing hoping I didn't kick his ass after.)
If anyone didn't understand the last chapter and how Edward stopped the Volturi I'll clarify it now. Edward and Taha Aki cursed the Volturi by giving their souls in a sacrifice to insure the safety of the Quileute tribe members in future generations.
Now without any further distractions, this is it loves.... Please read and review, I love all the support you guys have given me. Thanks you all once again ;)
After I had calmed my nerves from Alice's incident, thanks to Jake's presences relaxing effects, I finally had a day myself; myself and Jake that is.
Jake and I lounged around my house playing cards for the remainder of the afternoon for a lack of anything better to do. I hadn't completely gotten over my nerves yet and Jake could sense it and didn't push with idea of heading to La Push until the next day.
I needed this day to cool off.
Though on the bright side, not only did I get to learn how to play poker, (while fighting off Jacob's enthusiasm about making the game 'strip poker' with my Dad around the corner) but I finally got a full explanation of what these new senses of Jacob's emotions were.
He wasn't the only one now who could have an insight on the feelings of their partner in the relationship. He had his sense of smell, I had well... I don't know what you would call the connection and ability I had sensing Jacob's emotions. He explained that we now had an equal ground on the playing field, well on the emotional playing field. In all other aspects Jacob dominated over me, not that I minded at all. His oversized body was a bonus in the protection of the all-too clumsy me.
He left later that night and explained he had patrol duty all night because of the recent 'vampirnormal activity' and wished he could stay. He left with the promise of spending the whole day tomorrow at first beach. I felt my mode lighten slightly at that thought.
If I had only known that actually being there would do anything but lighten my mode.
My mind still seemed to wander that night to the million worries I had plaguing me. Nightmares only erupted through my dreams causing whimpers and cold sweats.
I had to fight back the tears at the thought of the Volturi taking my life from me from either death of changing me.
I had absolutely everything I wanted now, I could not lose it.
I couldn't stand the thought of Jacob finding me instead of dead, cold marble statue of myself only craving to tear every one of his limbs off drain his veins dry.
That image plagued me until the morning. When I awoke un-rested, I couldn't help but rush to the mirror to check my chalky features for the signs of life. Rosy cheeks and panting breath confirmed my human stature.
I managed to down something light for breakfast while Charlie noticed my uneasy appearance, "Bells, you okay?"
I nodded weakly.
He didn't question any further; but I knew he didn't believe me either. He rushed off to work with a quick 'bye love you Bells', a pop tart still hanging out of his mouth leaving me to fend against my edgy and anxious mind myself.
Alice's word's meant nothing of comfort when I left to worry alone.
Knowing my anxiety would only intensify I headed off for the 15 minutes drive to La Push not long after. Sooner I got there the sooner Jacob's presence would help vanish any of my increasing worry.
I drove in, pleasantly seeing Jacob emerge from the house and jog over to my vehicle. I rolled down the window to hear the comment his smug smile was telling me he had planned.
"I brought cards; I thought I could maybe convince you into playing strip tease poker in a little private cove on the beach- no Charlie promise." Jake grinned playfully. I smacked him lightly sighing in exasperation through the window.
He winced humorously.
"I wouldn't be so pushy with that idea knowing how good I was doing yesterday. If we actually played you'd be the one who'd end up naked." I taunted rolling my eyes as I jumped out of the ancient but loved truck. His carefree words washed away this morning's apprehension. Jake snaked his arms around me in a tender embrace, something about him was weary right now triggering another moment of panic in me.
It felt foolish though to worry; Alice had called me the night before saying everything was fine. I could tell something was up with her though, even with her forced perky attitude. She didn't want to talk after reassuring me. That was extremely unusual for Alice. I tried to just convince myself that she was busy, and she must've have seen me worrying.
Jacob's masculine voice brought me back to reality.
"Maybe that's my plan." Jacob smirked kissing my forehead.
"Let's see you get that one past me. You forget I'm the one who has control." I rolled my eyes and smiled as he took my hand tenderly laughing.
"The sun's out, we still should get a view from first beach before it goes and hides on us again." He suggested while tugging my hand light-heartedly toward the pathway. I keenly followed him as we trotted through the forest the warm silence between us welcomed.
Everything was beautiful this time of year. The tree's fresh scent filled the damp forest along with the smell of growth of fresh ferns and blossoming flowers. It was beyond heavenly to witness the forest like this; even if I was tripping over every other branch on the trail. Thank god for Jake being able to catch me every time before I fell.
We continued to walk in silence to a log on first beach where the sun's rays temporarily caught. The sun felt warm and radiating on my skin, I brushed my hand through my hair heaving in the heavy air. My scent must have caught Jacob's attention; well more than it normally did.
"You smell amazing Bella..." He sighed blissfully nestling his face into my tussled hair. I shuffled my body weight to lean my head into his bare chest and inhaled.
"So do you." I mumbled softly back.
He grinned at my proposition wrapping his arm tightly around me. His body heat burned where ever our bare skinned touched. The satisfaction from it was alarming; I knew I needed to feel that heat for the rest of my life. It was what could keep me forever tranquil.
The air around us seemed to abruptly tighten uncomfortably. An unusually cool breeze startled me as it played with my hair. The air felt frigid and unearthly; far firmer than anything wind caused when it touched me. I felt five cool finger tips graze across my jaw line. I jumped at contrast of how cool the sensation felt in contrast to Jacob's smouldering touch.
To my surprise, I instantly knew who was here again. The pain seized my heart.
"Edward." I gasped whipping my head around half expecting to see him.
My mind argued sense into me. There was no way he was here, this was Quileute land. He would be breaking the treaty to be here. That's not something he wouldn't do, he was far more sensible than that. My guts still argued with any reasoning. The feeling he was here could not be shook as I continued to stare trying to see something that slightly reminded me of him.
I could feel Jacob's inquisitive and watchful stare on the back of my neck. His body was tense, and nostrils flared. His body's reaction's confirmed my doubt.
Somehow Edward was here, there was no doubt about it.
I looked around again, searching desperately for something that explained to me what I was feeling. I wasn't mourning him anymore; I didn't cling onto the idea of him being here like I once had. His presence in my thoughts didn't burn an empty whole through my heart; it only filled my mind with warm and cherished memories.
Suddenly I saw one of the most disturbing sights to this day.
The sand feet away from me started to move without anything touching it, like fingers were dragging desperately through it. Letter by letter was traced until a startling message was formed. Jacob and I stared in absolute shock.
It was Edward's last words to me.
You were always right Bella.
Now nothing will harm you ever with my soul at rest.
I love you, Good bye.
I thought my eyes had forsaken me.
I thought I was delusional.
It was Jacob's reaction that allowed me believe my vision. I didn't understand why or how this could possibly have happened.
But I knew one thing;
Edward had died, and given the soul he actually possessed to save my life, as well as the rest of Quileute tribe. That's why he had come to tell me this here and not somewhere off the reservation.
It was then I broke down into uncontrollable sobs.
Jacob somehow understood through my endless streams of tears the mumble of 'get me to Alice.' I needed to know why; I couldn't stop bawling until I did. Jacob had never been as worried about me in his life as he had been at that moment. He could barely stand to not have me in his arms. He never once let his right hand leave my body while recklessly driving to the Cullen's place.
He didn't even once mention the stench of 'bloodsuckers' when we arrived.
I barged through their unlocked door and ran through the house in a desperate search. I sprinted through the kitchen, then the dining room, then the rec. room until I found Alice's petite framed curled up in a ball. She didn't budge a muscle as I entered the room, her focus intensively lingered on the photo of Edward.
This is why she looked like she wanted to cry the other day with me, she knew Edward was dead. I couldn't begin to comprehend her eyes so large with loss and guilt. He heart shaped face was tugged into a smooth emotionless expression, with her mouth showing the yearning she couldn't contain.
I rushed to her side, my heart pounding in my chest and bawled into her thin frame. She wrapped her marble body around gulping down her tearless gasps for air.
"He's, Edward's, he's dead isn't he?" I wept nearly incoherently.
I didn't want to hear the answer I already knew.
The thought burned me once again...
Edward had died to save me and pathetic human life with Jacob.
I didn't deserve his irrevocable love for me.
I didn't deserve Jacob for the feelings that I still harboured –and always would- for Edward. The pain may slowly fade, I was good at overcoming heart break by now, but nothing could lessen the feeling my heart contained regarding Edward,
"Yes. He's gone Bella." Alice choked out holding me slightly tighter. Jacob came into the room just as dismal as us.
"How, why!?" I exclaimed feverishly breaking my hold of Alice and leaning back to study her features.
"I saw some of the things in my visions then I couldn't see him after. It's complicated Bella..." She sniffled. She briefly glanced up unsure if I could handle everything.
"It's all over right? I want to know exactly what happened to him Alice. Please." I begged weakly. I felt Jacob crouch by me and wipe some of the salty tears from my cheek.
Alice sighed and glanced down.
"Caius came; he saw you, Jake, and me together," She started, "He was angered by your mortality, and infuriated even more when he saw your relationship with a werewolf. Caius hates werewolves. He could even smell that you were his mate." Jacob quickly glanced over in shock at Alice's statement.
"I thought..." He started but was quickly cut off.
"Wait Jacob, you'll understand in a minute." She hushed catching her unnecessary breath. She paused for a moment taking deep breaths to regain her composure. Whatever happened was so dramatic it had shocked and crushed even Alice.
"At the same time, Edward was searching for Taha Aki the Great Spirit Warrior and begging for his appearance because of the vision I saw of his and Edward's spirits. Taha Aki wouldn't show himself to Edward until he no longer retained any feelings of jealousy or resentment towards you two. When you two mated, Edward's inner self was no longer competing with the wolf side of Jacob. This eliminated all hatred and jealousy Edward had, leaving only love and desire to save you two in him.
That's when Taha Aki showed himself to Edward. He allowed the soul Edward possessed to release itself from his body ultimately killing his vampire self. Caius found Edward's lifeless body only giving him another reason to want the Volturi to come to forks. Only now, they would not only kill Bella, but kill the entire Quileute tribe too.
As souls they entered the Volturi's coven, watching unnoticed as Caius explained what he had found during his observation. Edward and Taha Aki appeared to the Volturi guard and Caius tried to attack Taha Aki in hatred for werewolves. When both Edward and Taha Aki touched him at the same time his body was incinerated."
My tears had momentarily stopped at the intense proceedings she had seen. Alice reminded me of my emotional state as she struggled to find the words for the last details of the event.
"The joined together as one, and cursed the Volturi guard forever killing Aro and preventing any Vampire to ever harm the members of Quileute tribe- including you Bella...." She heaved to finish in a barely audible voice, "In the process their souls were lost to the elements creating this curse."
"He died, I mean his soul let go right in front of me Alice... He wrote something in the sand for me." I sobbed turning into Jacob. He wove his arms tightly around my vibrating body.
Alice gasped and leaned in to join the emotional embrace. Both Jacob and Alice completely ignored each other's scents in angst. We didn't break our hold of each other for a while. Our loss was so great, and so honourable.
Edward had saved everything he thought was enemy, to save me. It was hard to believe he was convinced he didn't have a soul when his was one of the most respectable.
"Bella, everything is going to be okay from now on out." Alice whimpered as I broke my grasp of the two of the most important people in my life.
"You're not going to leave me are you Alice? I don't want to lose you right now..." I snivelled through my exasperated breathing.
"No, I'm here to stay Bella. Everyone will be; Rosalie is even excited to be a godmother." She chuckled optimistically through her sorrow.
"I'm only 19 Alice." I tried to snicker back through my waterworks.
"I know, but I'm just trying to hint on how much better things are going to become." She weakly smiled. Her eyes were saturated with a trusted hope.
"I know, because of him. Our happiness is his gift to us." I choked my own words almost paralysing me.
This was more than I could ever ask for, more than I could ever deserve. Edward had given me the life I was supposed to live with the person I was supposed to live for...
Dear Crayon,( I know how much you hate when I use that nick name, but it's funny seeing you face when I say it.)
This one's for you. I miss you, and you truly are my own personal Jacob. The entire time I wrote this story you were pretty much my only inspiration. On the days my heart was aching from missing you, I wrote this story to fight against my rather inappropriate previous actions. I've moved on passed those, I'm not the same person. My addiction has changed me ways I didn't realize was possible. I can now look at everything with a maturity I didn't think I had. I've also realized I can only write about what I don't have, and what I want. I already have my Edward, and I'm sorry it has ended this way. But what I don't have is you, my Jacob
But in spite of it all, I believe Bella should've ended up with Jacob. But regardless how hard she tried she couldn't fight something unnatural. Edward and Bella shouldn't have ever met but they did and Jacob was pushed wrongfully to the side. It is the same with me and you, I shouldn't have met him. I couldn't fight against the twisted fate when he and I met. You know what he is to me even to this day. He is like breathing to me now, while you, you are what makes me feel like I as natural as the sun. If I had never met him, when you came along and I could've stay and it wouldn't have ended this way. I have wronged you on so many levels, filled you ears with empty promises and hate myself more for each one. To makes things worse the electricity was too great after to even keep a platonic relationship between us. Every time our bodies even touched, our eyes met, I just changed my mind temporarily again.
If only it were different...
I love you, always will, and I miss you.
I wish things were different, and hopefully this story proves that.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!
This was such an enjoyable story to write for me.
I beat myself up on whether or not to make a sequel for this. Truthfully I have an idea in mind that could function as a sequel or a stand alone. I originally didn't want to write a sequel for the chances of warding off readers with having to read another story first but it just flowed SO perfectly with this story. So I've decided that there will be sequel, but I'll make the first chapter able to tastefully summarize this story for everyone.
The sequel is started; Summer's Heat. Please go check it out if you enjoyed this story :)
Thank you to everyone who stuck through it and read this to the end, I love you all.