A/N: sorry it took so long. Enjoy! TvTropes, dattebayo!

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Eureka no Mahou Sensei

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 4: There Really Are Some Things GD Does Not Do…

Disclaimer: I don't own Negima or Eureka. I wish I did, but I don't…

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At the Carter Household…

SARAH's airlock opened as Negi came back in from his early morning warm-up and kata. "Thank you, Sarah!" he greeted the smart-house as he skipped his way towards his room to get dressed for work.

With practiced ease, Zoey intercepted him, turning him towards the bathroom and throwing a towel in after him. After the first day he'd tried to go to school stinking of sweat, Zoey had taken the liberty of making sure he took a bath. SARAH supervised. Jack quite intelligently just stayed out of the way.

"SARAH, raise the volume please," he said, and the game on the TV got louder, all the better to blur out the yells about how "he was a teacher!".

Negi sulked slightly as he came down from his room, pulling on the jacket of the green suit, but brightened quickly as he saw breakfast. He skipped down the rest of the way, cheerfully vaulting onto one of the kitchen stools and pouring milk into his bowl. It was a strangely reassuring domestic scene. Jack loved his daughter, he really did, but there was something about watching the young boy happily eating cereal and pouting childishly at Zoey that made him feel strangely paternal.

He considered this, and resolved to get therapy in case he had issues.

...

Hakase wondered if any other the other people in Eureka ever had problems with their live-in robot assistant/daughter being pissed at them. If they did, she didn't think she'd be taking their advice any time about it soon, though. These people had no common sense.

From someone who might or might not have literally sold her soul to science, that's saying something.

"I said I was sorry," she tried again, hurrying to keep up with Chachamaru, who was striding ahead of her in a definitely-not-pissed-off pissed off sort of way. "If you want, we won't use the proto-type. You shouldn't have to use it if you don't want to, after all." Einstein, was she actually saying all this?

"Why should I object?" Chachamaru said, not slowing down one bit. "Should you wish to rent me out after my consciousness has been transferred to the anatomically correct dermaplasted proto-type, that is your decision."

Hakase reiterated to herself to NEVER discuss Chachamaru's external upgrades in public again. Those boys had been quite lewd and obnoxious, talking about 'renting out' Chachamaru as if she wasn't right there listening to every word! Thank goodness for Sheriff Carter, who was apparently disturbed enough by the idea to cite them for Lewd Conduct, or whatever it was he used as an excuse to toss them into his jail cell.

She sighed. Wasn't it enough she'd already gotten lectured by Dr. Blake about how they were not supposed to do any sort of H-related R&D that couldn't be packaged as happy pills?

She really hoped Negi-sensei didn't hear about this. She really didn't want to explain.

...

Vincent liked Eureka. It was the most interesting place to live he could think of, it let him practice his art with no restrictions, and every day was a new adventure!

"Sheriff Carter, what's a Sexaroid?"

Especially, Vincent considered as he– like everyone else in Café Diem– stopped choking on his tongue, since that child-teacher had come to town.

"W-what?" Sheriff Carter said as he mopped up his spilled coffee, wincing at the heat. "Where'd you hear that from? Allison, we're not doing any weird research for Dubai again, are we?"

"N-no," Dr. Blake said, wiping up her own mess. She turned to Negi, with that complicated look adults wear when a child asks them a very awkward question. "Why do you ask?"

"I overheard a few of my students talking about it and wondered if it was a technical term I should know about," Negi said. "They were saying something about renting an hour…?"

Dr. Blake dropped her face into her hands. "Hakase," she muttered. "It has to be. After I told her not to…"

"Dr. Blake?" Negi inquired, looking concerned. People had to resist the urge to go "Awwwwww, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!" at the sight. "Did Hakase do something wrong? Did she make an illegal robot army?" Beat. "Again?"

"'Again'?" Sherif Carter mouthed

"No, nothing like that," Dr. Blake said, seeming to consider her words. "It sounds like she's been doing research that I've recently talked to her about that she's forbidden to do."

Negi blinked at her. "Um, I haven't been a teacher long, Dr. Blake, but I know enough to know that's the fastest way to make them actually do it."

"Yes," Dr. Blake said, overtones of irony in her voice. "I realize that now. "

...

It took a lot of knocking before someone opened the door to Hakase's new house. When the door eventually opened, Chachamaru faced them across the threshold, completely without clothes. One breast seemed slightly lopsided. She scanned the visitors calmly, finally reached Negi, went red, and slammed the door shut in their faces.

Sheriff Carter and Dr. Blake exchanged 'significant glances' as Negi blinked in confusion. "Oh. It looks like Chachamaru's having her diagnostics done. "

The door opened again, and Chachamaru reappeared, a hastily donned shirt covering her torso now. "Negi-sensei, Sheriff, Dr. Blake. I apologize for my state of dress. Would you please come in?"

They entered the house, which seemed to be fighting a losing battle between chaos and order. Chachamaru was obviously taking care of the place, and Hakase was just as obviously living there. Random clothes were strewn about, many of it underwear, much to Negi's embarrassment. Chachamaru picked up a basket and began picking up the clothes. "What can I do for you?" she asked as she worked.

The adults exchanged looks while Negi helped tidy up. "Uh, yeah. There are rumors going around…"

Chachamaru froze. It was quite startling, really, given how full of, well, life she usually was. "I see," she said. For some reason, she glanced at Negi. "Hakase is still in the basement analyzing my diagnostic data. This way."

The place the basket on the sofa and led them to the basement.

Hakase was looming over a laptop, a strange device on her back, with overpwereed looking arms, and looked so heavy it should have broken her little pencil legs. "Oh, good, you're back Chachamaru," she said without looking up. "Okay, I took Evangeline's measurements out of the records, and I'm pretty sure I have the spare parts to build you a smaller body in between work and class. We could try putting your exoderm prototype on it, get you used to it, and if we optimize it for speed, you won't need so much armor, which means I could work on getting it anatomically correct. How big a bustline do you want on this one? Personally, I think we should make it bigger, since we'd have more space that way, but it's your call. I won't be the one using this to seduce–"

"Hakase, Dr. Blake, the Sheriff and Negi-sensei are here," Chachamaru said, a bit more loudly than she needed to.

Hakase whirled, the arms on her backpack flailing wildly like some kind of mechanical kewpie doll. Now that she wasn't blocking the screen, they could clearly see the plans for what looked like a child-sized robot. The heading read, in convenient expositiory blueprint fashion, 'H-capable Chachamaru Loli Unit V1'.

Negi frowned. "What's 'H'?"

Hakase paused, and stared at the ceiling. "I miss Chisame. She knew what to say when things like this came up." She looked down to meet the gazes of Dr. Blake and the sheriff. "I swear this isn't what it looks like."

"Really?" Dr. Blake said, giving the laptop a sarcastic glance. "Because it looks like you're trying to build–" she glanced at Negi "– something you're not supposed to."

"It's not for me!" Hakase said.

"We don't really care about your sexual preferences, Miss Hakase," Dr. Blake said. "But I'm afraid this isn't the sort of thing we build in GD." She paused, then added conscientiously, "At least, not the sort of thing we want built in GD."

"Hakase, what's going on?" Negi asked.

"Nothing that concerns you, Negi-sensei," Hakase said as kindly as she could. "Could you please go?"

Nagi frowned. "As one of my students, I have a responsibility to–"

"We'll be talking about feminine stuff," Hakase interjected.

Negi froze. "Well, I have some papers to grade! I'll see you at home, sheriff!"

He ran back upstairs.

Carter stared at Hakase. "You threatened him with 'feminine stuff'?"

Hakase shrugged. "He used to have two girls as roommates for more than a year."

Dr Blake glared at Hakase. "I thought we discussed this."

Hakase sighed. "This is going to be a long night…"

...

- To be continued...

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A/N: Currently not too inspired, but I figured this chap would be good for a laugh…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.